I'm still feeling like he's hiding something, I don't know what reality is.  I feel I can't trust him.  I want to heal and feel free again!  He says, I'm better in every way about her.  He says it's the worse mistake of my life.  I'm in so much pain!!  I feel I can't express it.  I love him, but I can feel I'm not truly not giving all of myself.  I ( Read more... )

I was feeling like things were getting better, but then a few days ago he had selfish sex again.  After he's done, he says, what happened?  I said I didn't get turned on.  I wanted to say and you obviously didn't care.  Nothing much has happened since then.  He feels completely closed to me and tonight the feeling was so strong.  He said " you know ( Read more... )

It's only 10:30 am, but so far one of the worse anniversaries.  That bar is set pretty high, so it's really saying something.

Started out with him having selfish sex, like he use to.

Then he made breakfast.  No conversation.  Did care about my crying.  We haven't even been back together 6 months and it all feel familiar.

sitting next to each ( Read more... )

I tried to post earlier, but the new format is messing with my head.

Tony went into rehab in July, we go married again in Aug.  Things were going pretty good.  Then we both go sick.  I feel like it's been different since then.

He been working a little.  I've been pulling most of the weight (shocker there).

He told me sex wasn't as important as it ( Read more... )

Tony was suppose to get his license today, but instead he decided to go drinking with the guys. So I actually said it, "so you decided to drink with the guys instead?" He said I'm not going to answer that. he sure did answered it. So I drew a picture of him masturbating to porn, so I don't get weak. I hate him so much. I have to keep being nice ( Read more... )

. Well we're at it again.  Same thing.  After masterbating in the morning, then sex in the evening, he still was masterbating 14 hours later.  This sick pervert, still finds the audacity to blame me.  Saying if I liked sex then this wouldn't be happening. So, if i was a masicist it would be all good.  Which is a bold face lie, he did it ( Read more... )

Last night was an all time weird.  He didn't want to put in any energy in to having sex.  But after he took his valium and was ready to go to sleep, he moves the covers to see if my butt's naked.  I ask why.  He said something about a fantasy.  So, he wants to fantasy about my butt, but not have sex.  and why do I care?  Is he using the image to ( Read more... )

He kept coming down from hunting, didn't get anything, just waisted a bunch of money and made his leg worse ( Read more... )

So, my foot surgery caused a DVT (Deep Vein Thromosis) which caused a BPE (Bilateral Pulmonary Embolism).  On 1-11-18 I was diagnosed.  We flew into Kona on 1-10-18, and in the hospital the very next day.  They kept me for 48 hours then just released me with blood thinners (anticoagulants).  Very little information, told me to get a doctor ( Read more... )

I just had foot sugery 3 weeks ago.  I was allowing him to hump on me ever four days, and still he found the need to masterbate ( Read more... )