Secret Whispers - Chapter ten [part II]

[aroruae]

PART I

“You don’t need to say anything, you know.” Jin suddenly said as he stopped next to his car. He turned to look at Kazuya and smiled gently, trying to comfort the younger. “I understand,” he continued, “and you don’t need to explain yourself.” He laughed and suddenly seemed embarrassed by something as he ruffled his hair with a nervous move. “I mean… that is if you wanted to. Even if it’s not, I wanted to tell you that it’s okay because…” he stopped from his babbling and took a deep breath, finally looking Kazuya in the eyes. “Because it’s really okay.” He added with a whisper.

And now Kazuya felt like a complete jerk, he really shouldn’t have led Jin all the way. He got close to Jin and hugged him on impulse. “It’s not okay and I’m sorry. I should have thought before acting and now you’re… well, bothered.” He spoke gently, realizing that all of this was mostly his fault. “I lost my head back in there and…” he confessed with a small voice, thinking that all of those feelings that had led him to those actions were still lingering on him. “I’m sorry.” Kazuya said once more and his hug tightened.

Jin let his hands settle on Kazuya’s waist, bringing him closer and inhaling deeply the younger’s scent that seemed to drive him mad in that moment also. “Kazuya, it’s just sex.” He said. “I’m not bothered about that.” He confessed, though his tone still said that there was something wrong and that Jin didn’t really want to talk about it.

“Then what bothers you?” Kazuya asked, wondering if there was really anything else that could bother Jin in that moment and wasn’t the lack of sex. Because, honestly, he was a man too and he was also suffering after such moments with Jin. But in his case, Kazuya had a better control over his needs than Jin.

“Nothing.” Jin replied with a small smile, though his mask was kind of broken under Kazuya’s persistent stare and the fact that they were alone made it harder for him to keep his cool. “So let’s just forget about this, okay?” he said and tried to change the subject. “I have to go.” He reminded Kazuya though it was clearly a lie, as well as the phone call received.

“Jin.” Kazuya insisted and didn’t let go. “I know that there wasn’t any call and I know that you’re leaving because of what happened.” The younger decided to face the truth as much as he would have liked to not do it. “So don’t lie to me telling that it’s nothing. Or is it that you don’t trust me to handle whatever truth you’re hiding right now?”

Jin sighed. “It’s nothing, really.” He said and bit his lower lip as he looked into Kazuya’s eyes. “It’s just that…” he sighed again and ruffled his hair again, this time from nervousness, letting go of Kazuya completely. “You just left.” He finally said with a defeated voice. His eyes found the younger’s again and Jin felt like no one could stop his mouth right now. “I mean… we were together and then someone comes and you just leave! Without even sparing a glance at me! You just said that I should give myself a hand job in the bathroom!” he confessed, feeling the frustration that had been building up in him was exploding bit by bit. “I felt like a fucking whore, Kazuya.” The actor said, the last words spoken with a small voice like he didn’t want to admit it, but… he couldn’t ignore the feeling.

Kazuya blinked owlishly at Jin. Had he done such an insensitive thing like this? He had never meant to do so… he just didn’t know how to react when caught like this! But how should he explain this to Jin without hurting his feelings anymore? “I… I didn’t mean that, Jin.” He said with an ashamed voice. “I didn’t know how to act back then, it was the first time I was in a situation like that and I…” he looked lost at this. Kazuya knew that he shouldn’t find excuses anymore, it was his fault and he could feel regret gnawing at him. “Jin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to let you feel like this.” He hugged the actor, a twinge of despair in his action. “I’m already lost when it comes to you and I don’t know how to properly behave. Yuuya says I’m falling for you and maybe that’s why I don’t think too much of my surroundings when it comes to you… I’m sorry, really.” He kept on muttering, feeling like he made no sense or whatsoever. What he really needed was to erase the dejected and hurt look on Jin’s face. Had he really been the one guilty of that? Apparently yes and he hated himself for this.

Jin’s world seemed to stop for a while as he listened to Kazuya’s words. He didn’t want an apology, that’s why he hadn’t wanted to tell the younger what was bothering him, because he knew Kazuya will feel more responsible for this than he was. Because… Jin had also benn there. He could have said no, he could have rejected Kazuya - though it was kind of impossible for him to do so. But the point was that he was also guilty and he didn’t want to make his lover feel like this. But now…

He didn’t know what to say, how to respond. His body froze and his mind stopped working properly as Kazuya’s words slowly engraved themselves in his brain. He had no idea if the younger was aware of what he had said but he inclined towards no, seeing that he was still muttering apologies and didn’t seem to react. Oh, well, Jin knew what he had to do to get his attention.

“Kazuya…” he whispered the boy’s name as he slowly lifted his hands, cupping both of Kazuya’s cheeks and looking into those brown orbs that seemed to have him mesmerized for a moment. He smiled, a bright and wide smile that even Jin didn’t know was possible, and slowly leaned over the younger, his eyes still fixed on Kazuya’s as their lips gently touched, tasting themselves and seeming to be trying to know each other like they were kissing for the first time. He closed his eyes after two seconds and let himself fall into the sweet oblivion of Kazuya’s taste, keeping the kiss slow and passionate and pure in the same time, full of love and his feelings that he was trying to get through, desperately trying to fight his fast beating heart and hoping that his lover won’t realize how nervous he was, just how much Jin loved him.

They separated after what seemed like an eternity and Jin suddenly started to laugh softly. “Wonder what will happen if the press saw us.” He whispered against Kazuya’s lips, pecking them again and not getting enough of them.

Kazuya looked dreamily at Jin, the press being the last thing on his mind as his heart was swayed so much by Jin’s kiss. Was he really falling for Jin? Was he really losing his heart in front of a man? Yuuya must have been right, he must have seen right from the beginning, Kazuya thought as he felt his heart hammering against his ribs with such power that he had never felt before. And after all the promises he had made to himself… after all his big words about how he will never fall for Jin, that he’ll just show the actor he was lusting him more than loving him… What a fool he’d been - falling right in the trap of the wolf.

“They won’t.” Kazuya whispered back, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “That’s your luck for having a boyfriend live in such a dump.” He added and touched Jin’s hands with his own, leaning into their embrace.

And what a happy fool he was.

“Then I should be glad that I can do this,” Jin grinned as his lips descended on the boy’s skin, kissing his neck and burying his teeth into it, leaving a deep and red mark, “and much more…” he added with a husky voice, whispering the words in Kazuya’s ear as he brought the younger even closer, gluing their bodies and not leaving even an inch to separate them.

Shivers ran down Kazuya’s spine, his body being slowly engulfed in a wave of lust and desire. He bit his lips to hold back a moan as he felt Jin’s lips on his ear lob, then down on his neck, not letting him even breathe properly. “If it were…” Kazuya paused and grabbed tighter onto Jin, “…an American movie, I’d…” He couldn’t suppress the moan that came out throaty and husky, “…I’d say to take me on the backseat of your car.” Kazuya breathed the words so quickly and so quivering that you might think he hadn’t said anything at all. But he had and now it was Jin’s moment to react upon those words - so easily said and so painfully throbbing in their bodies.

“This is Japan.” Jin chuckled, the hot breath tingling Kazuya’s skin and making his knees even weaker. He moved his body slowly, grinding against Kazuya and letting his back rest on his car to have more stability as he opened his legs and placed the younger between them. He smirked as his hands sneaked under Kazuya’s shirt, teasingly touching the skin and just placing butterfly touches on it, while his lips continued to kiss the younger’s neck that seemed to be so inviting and alluring for Jin. “Come with me,” he said with a small voice, trying to mask the desire from his tone, “come to my apartment tonight.” He said as he slid his hands into Kazuya’s back pockets, pinching his ass cheeks through the rough material as he brought their bodies close once more, their crotches touching and making them close their eyes and bite their lips to fight any loud sound from being heard.

Kazuya trembled in Jin’s arms and held tighter onto him, feeling like he was going to choke soon from the desire searing through his body. Jin’s words barely made it to him, but when they had, it created an electrifying sensation in his mind and body, feeling practically lost and frantically lusting Jin. “Take me…” he muttered with a rasp voice, thinking that maybe he was saying a total nonsense, he was signing his death sentence - well, at least to his virginity. “Take me wherever you want me.” Kazuya agreed to Jin’s proposal and his heart was now a caged bird wanting to get out quicker than ever. Will Jin set it free?

Jin smiled brightly and kissed Kazuya again, slowly and gently, like he didn’t want anything and anyone to disturb them. He then released the boy, praying that his heart will stop beating this fast soon and that he’ll be able to drive safely at his apartment. He didn’t want to mess this up, he didn’t want to make Kazuya think that he had done a mistake by accepting him, by being with Jin like this. He wanted to show Kazuya how much he loved him and how good they could feel together once the younger would forget that they were both men and their relationship wasn’t that free and accepted by others.

The older moved a little to leave space for Kazuya to get into the car and then he closed the door, going on the other side to jump in the car too. He saw that his lover was nervous and maybe a little anxious and he could completely understand his feelings. It was the first time for Jin too to feel like this, to be so excited and interested into someone. He knew that this was usually the point where he would break up with the other person, but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to separate from Kazuya, he didn’t want their relationship to change and to give up at the kissing and hugging and everything that meant being Kazuya’s lover.

He wanted him and Jin was sure that it was the right thing to do.

“You’d better call your brother to let him know and not be worried when you won’t come back.” Jin suddenly said, fetching his phone and handing it to Kazuya with a smile. He had stumbled over his words a little and his voice was low and hoarse, betraying the excitement and nervousness he was feeling and maybe a little bit of his uncertainness.

But Kazuya shook his head, knowing that if he’ll call Yuuya, he’ll back away from his words and right now… he really didn’t want this. “He’ll understand.” He said, looking at Jin and his eyes had a new spark in them, making the brown turn liquid gold filled with passion. “He knows I’m with you.” He added as he covered Jin’s hand, the simple touch sizzling through him.

Jin trembled a little at the sudden touch but smiled back and moved his hand a little to brush his thumb over Kazuya’s own hand. He didn’t let go even as he shifted in his seat, turning the engine on and driving on the road full with cars and people, not caring about them and thinking only at the warm sensation of Kazuya’s hand over his.

The trip seemed to never end and in the same time, it had been too short to know what they were really doing. But Jin was sure that he didn’t want to back out, he was sure this wasn’t a mistake because he loved Kazuya and he now knew that the younger was starting to feel the same way. And maybe… after tonight, he’ll actually fall in love with Jin.

The older one led Kazuya out of the car, entwining their hands as soon as he locked the car and turned their backs on it. But they still didn’t say anything as they walked to the tall building in the darkness of the night and guided only by the light of the moon. The lift with the elevator had also been quiet and the two lovers seemed to have a lot on their minds, but as soon as one of them - neither one was sure who exactly - moved slightly his hand to remind the other that he was not alone and they were in this together, everything seemed to work out just fine with a short glance and an embarrassed smile.

Finally, Jin locked the door of the apartment behind them and went into the living room where he knew Kazuya was waiting for him. He had made a stop at the kitchen too to bring some sandwiches with him and a bottle of white wine with two glasses, the smile from his lips never disappearing. “Hungry?” he asked as he entered the room, lifting the plate to show the sandwiches. “I don’t have anything else to eat.” He proceeded to excuse himself as he put the food and drinks on the table.

Kazuya had his hands clasped together, insecurities in his every move or expression. He bit his lower lip as he looked at Jin, his brown eyes looking a bit lost, though you could still find bits of lust in them. “You shouldn’t have bothered.” Kazuya spoke softly and almost afraid. And who wouldn’t really? He was just about to have intimate relations with his boyfriend - note! boyfriend! - and he was afraid it was going to hurt like hell. Fuck, he was thinking like a girl… but now he realized how the innocent ones must have felt when he was the one doing them.

“Jin?” he said the actor’s name, wanting to erase such thoughts from his mind. “I think I’m a bit afraid.” He whispered and he grasped tighter his hands, the knuckles gone white.

Jin gulped and looked at Kazuya. “Come here.” He said with a gentle tone, stretching his hand towards the younger and sitting on the couch, making Kazuya sit next to him. “Want me to tell you something?” he asked with a light tone and as soon as he saw Kazuya nodding, he continued. “I’m afraid too.” He confessed, his voice stopping a little in his throat as he uttered the words but his hand never leaving Kazuya’s.

Kazuya smiled over the words Jin had said and leaned forward to peck on the older’s lips. “We’re two whiners.” He whispered and you could sense the tease. It was like Jin’s words had given Kazuya confidence to make a move, to put aside the fear that was slowly gnawing at him… at them. “We’ll talk later about fears, okay?” The younger said and drew himself closer to Jin, though it was still visible the way his body was slightly trembling.

“And I thought that you wanted to eat.” Jin teased the younger, deliberately choosing these words as he also got closer to Kazuya and pecked his lips once, then twice, starting to slowly nibble on them and to feel the desire that had left him earlier now coming back in full force. He lifted his hands and cupped Kazuya’s cheeks, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and to feel more of his lover, his taste, scent and everything that meant Kazuya.

The younger welcomed Jin, lifting his arms to encircle Jin’s waist, the passion renewing in his body, entwining with the fear he was also feeling. Why did it feel so good? Why did it slowly cave inside his heart, removing layer by layer and leaving him bare in front of Jin? And he wanted so much more from Jin, wanted to feel so much more. He let his hand travel slowly over the actor’s back, his fingers grasping the material as Jin’s tongue dived deeper into his mouth, making him moan a little. His body arched a little in meeting Jin’s, wanting to feel the older one’s warmth closer.

“Jin…” he finally breathed as their lips parted and they looked into each other’s eyes. “I want to feel your skin touching mine…” Kazuya said and his fingers were skimming along the rim of Jin’s shirt. “Remove it.”He demanded, though you could sense his fingers being shy and clumsy in their touch.

Jin shuddered and closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to control himself and not fall so easily into the web of temptation. He opened his eyes and stared into Kazuya’s brown orbs for a couple of seconds before getting rid of his shirt, throwing it on the floor. He wanted to smirk seeing Kazuya’s innocent and undecided moves but he found himself unable to do anything but gulp again as the thought that he was going to have sex with Kazuya kept coming back into his mind, not letting him think at anything else but his raw desire.

But he didn’t want it to be like this. He didn’t want to make Kazuya feel used, but special and loved. He wanted to show the younger how much he loved him and not how much he wanted him in his bed. Jin closed his eyes again and time seemed to pass slower as he recovered his grasp over reality. He looked at Kazuya again and smiled comfortably, leaning closer to whisper into his ear: “Let’s go to my bedroom.” And he didn’t wait anything more, sitting up and pulling the younger with him, then lifting him in his arms, princess-style. “The cab has arrived, my princess.” He grinned foolishly as he started to walk - more like dance - towards his room.

Kazuya laughed at the silly words Jin said and he cuddled into his arms, his fingers playfully feeling Jin’s skin, moving along his bare shoulders and with feathery moves passing over the collarbones, smiling in a pleased way at the shudder Jin’s body let known. Then he pressed his lips to the older one’s neck, slowly climbing up to his jaw, leaving behind hot traces with his tongue. He knew it felt right because there were short intakes of air from Jin and the tight grasp on his clothes showed him that Jin was enjoying and was being teased by such touches and kisses. He’ll do more, Kazuya thought, wanting to please the older.

They reached the bed and Jin laid Kazuya on it, staring at the younger from above, lust written in every feature of his face. The younger stretched his hand and almost scratched with the tip of his nails Jin’s skin. He let out a whimper. “Don’t tease me…” Kazuya whispered and looked yearning for Jin. “Come here.” He added and lifted himself a bit, enough to spread his palm over Jin’s chest, feeling its burning skin and pulsing heart.

Jin didn’t wait for another invitation and joined Kazuya on the bed, sitting next to him for the moment and finding his lips again, engaging them into a hungry and demanding kiss, wanting to show how much he had missed this and how badly he had wanted to be with Kazuya like this. His right hand clenched into the younger’s hair, pulling on it gently to move Kazuya’s head how he wanted it to let his tongue go deeper into his lover’s mouth, exploring the hot cave and not letting an inch remain unknown to him. His other hand brushed over Kazuya’s neck, his fingers teasing the alluring skin and going down, over the boy’s shirt, pulling it up as his hand went lower. When it reached the end and his hand finally touched Kazuya’s skin, Jin buried his fingers into it, groaning and moving a bit to straddle the younger, wanting more and not having the patience to wait for it.

Even so, he stopped the kiss and lifted his head a little to look into Kazuya’s eyes, panting and trying to calm his heart. “Kazuya…” he called his lover’s name and it seemed to make Jin even more aroused. But he had to ask first. “I know you’re scared, so…” he started, leaning down to peck Kazuya’s lips and smiling like the fool that he was. “Just tell me how far do you want to go.” He finally found his words, biting nervously on his lip as he waited for an answer.

He didn’t want to rush things, sex wasn’t that important for Jin - though he couldn’t ignore it either. But he didn’t want Kazuya to feel later that he had made a mistake and that he should have never slept with Jin. He didn’t want any feelings of regret in their relationship and he understood perfectly how the younger felt. After all, he was the same. It was the first time for him too to be with a man and it seemed scary just thinking at it. He had had doubts at first if he was going to make it, but every time the passion won and Jin forgot all about his insecurities in Kazuya’s arms, remembering just that he loved him and wanted him badly.

Kazuya gulped and looked lost in front of Jin’s question, was lost in front of his own lust that would have wanted to say… all the way, please. But, like Jin said, he was scared and the fact that he’ll go through it all scared him even more. It was going to be painful, it was going to make him forget all about Jin and he was going to hate it. No, he didn’t want this, though his body was yearning for it, was prepared. But he wasn’t. Not yet, at least.

He swallowed hard and touched Jin’s cheek gently as his lips curled into a smile. “I’d like to tell you… all the way.” He whispered and caressed with his thumb Jin’s lips. “But I don’t want to give you false hopes and then back away…” he lifted himself a little and kissed a spot on Jin’s chest. “So… tell me what can I do to please you.” Kazuya looked at Jin and there was a yearning in his brown eyes.

The older smiled looking pleased, happy that Kazuya had given him an honest answer and hadn’t avoided his question how Jin had suspected him to do. He kissed him again, this time slowly and taking his time with exploring Kazuya’s mouth, closing his eyes and going lower with his lips, dropping kisses over every inch of the younger’s skin that he could find. He giggled when he kissed Kazuya’s collarbone and looked up to stare again into the boy’s eyes, smiling happily as he stole another kiss from those inviting red lips. “I just want to love you.” Jin said with a husky voice, now both of his hands tugging at the hem of Kazuya’s shirt, lifting it up, over the boy’s head and leaving his upper body naked. As soon as this impediment was gone, Jin rushed to taste Kazuya, touching skin on skin, Kazuya’s heart beating madly next to Jin’s as their bodies brushed against each other, a little uncertain and fearful, but wanting and lustful. “I just want to feel you.” Jin continued, leaving a wet trail as his tongue licked and his lips kissed, his hands searched and his body desired, his mind wanted and his heart exploded.

If Kazuya could have wept at Jin’s words, he would have done so, but it wasn’t the time and he could only quiver, whimper and arch under Jin’s hands, mouth and words. He gripped the sheets around him, feeling only Jin and wanting only him. The way the actor’s body felt on top of him against his skin, made his mind go haywire, nothing connecting and nothing mattering. He wanted to touch but he felt incapable of doing so, Jin was making him limp in every bone, was slowly pushing him over the edge. A moan escaped his lips as he felt Jin’s teeth seep into his flesh, quickly to be soothed by his hot-like tongue. Ah, God… the sweet exploding sensation that soared through his body.

“Jin…” he moaned and his body arched as the older was teasing one of nipples while his fingers were digging into his skin, leaving love marks all over his body. “I want to touch you too…” he whispered and opened his eyes as he looked at the ceiling, the pleasure spreading into his body rapidly and asking to be shared. “I want you too…” Kazuya breathed and like a blind man, searched for Jin.

“I’m here, babe.” Jin whispered as he climbed up a little, his lips finding Kazuya again and letting him control the situation for the moment, letting him feel and touch and kiss and anything else that would drive them completely mad. Still, he felt like he couldn’t remain still and let his hands continue to brush over Kazuya’s skin, going even lower now as their tongues continued to battle into a slow kiss, finding his jeans and opening their zipper, tugging on them to get them off.

Kazuya moaned in their kiss and he struggled a little, helping Jin to remove his jeans and finally letting them slip to the floor. He grabbed onto Jin’s hands and slowly rose, straddling the actor, their kiss never ending. He gripped onto their laced hands as his body moved above Jin’s, creating friction between their lower parts. Then he broke the kiss and heard Jin give a soft cry as he left his lips and slowly pressed them against his collarbones, enjoying the whimper Jin was letting out and the way he gripped back Kazuya’s hands. He trailed with his lips further down, licking and sucking slowly the brown nubs, making them harden and painfully sweet hurt as he bit each, before gently kissing them.

He released Jin’s hands and eagerly, his fingers ran across the actor’s body, feeling and touching the burning skin before teasingly hovering above the jeans and playfully touching the obvious erection hidden by the rough material. Kazuya looked at Jin as he bit on his chin and slowly went up to his mouth, his tongue trailing around the plump lips. “I want to hear your voice, Jin.” Kazuya breathed in Jin’s mouth as his hands unzipped the flyer from one swift move, then pulled gently but steadily onto the jeans. “I want you to …” Kazuya never finished his sentence as the pants were removed and their hardened members touched each other only through a thin material that was the underwear. It made the breath hitch in Kazuya’s voice as a throaty moan left his parted lips and made his body grind into Jin’s.

The older moaned with him, closing his eyes and biting his lips to stop sounding so needy and desperate. “You’re teasing me.” Jin accused, his eyes now half opened as he looked at Kazuya with a lustful gaze. He lifted his hands and buried them into the younger’s hair, bringing him closer and kissing him like there was no tomorrow and this was their moment that they had waited for an eternity. He moaned into the kiss but didn’t let go and continued to kiss Kazuya as their bodies moved against other, creating more friction and increasing their need of being together. “Stop teasing me.” Jin wanted to order but his voice came out more like a plea, sounding like he was begging and was willing to do anything to stop this torture that was called Kamenashi Kazuya.

Kazuya chuckled and his hands traveled between their bodies, his fingers digging in the flesh of Jin’s waist, yielding their moves. “You’re the same.” He whispered against Jin’s lips as he brushed against Jin’s body, his member twitching next to the older one’s. “You’re teasing me as much…” he bit hard on his lower lip, loving the shiver of Jin’s body and enjoying the soft whimpers of his mouth. Really, all of these were new things for him, but they were so painfully forbidden that Kazuya had to try them out, had to feel them. And Jin was his most forbidden person.

Jin took a deep breath and tried to regain a little bit of control. “It’s different.” He said with a hoarse voice, feeling his heart like it would jump out of his chest any moment now. He had never thought that sex with a man could be this fulfilling and maddening, he had never believed that Kazuya would manage to drive him this crazy with just a few words and some touches. He was already at his limit and things didn’t seem to progress any further, making Jin feel frustrated and painfully sexually deprived.

He looked into Kazuya’s eyes and smirked, his thoughts finally regaining a little bit of order and sanity. “I tease you, but…” Jin said, his eyes burning with hidden desires and unspoken truths. He lowered his hands, brushing them on Kazuya’s back and teasingly touching his skin, scratching a little and stopping as he got to his boxers. “But I also do this.” He said with a grin as he lifted a little his head to catch the younger’s lips with his while his right hand went further and squished Kazuya’s ass hard, the other one sneaking between their bodies and attacking the younger’s cock under the underwear.

Kazuya gasped at the sudden intrusion, feeling weird and good in the same time. His body arched and his fingers dug into Jin’s flesh, waves of pleasure spreading in his body, burning every part of his skin. “J-Jin…” he moaned the actor’s name, moving slowly in his hand, cursing and blessing those long fingers curled around him. He lifted a little, moving away from Jin’s possessive lips, though he couldn’t quite escape his teasing hands. Kazuya moved his own hands over Jin’s, before settling on the actor’s hardened member, all those first sensations he experienced earlier in his bedroom getting back at him.

“I want you, Kazuya.” Jin confessed, having problems to make his voice sound normal or even to be heard as he had difficulties even breathing after Kazuya took his every sense of rationality. His hand clenched around the younger’s ass cheek and Jin moved his head a little to suck on Kazuya’s skin, kissing his neck and enjoying the sounds moaned into his ear. “I want to hear your voice.” He continued as he started to pull down on Kazuya’s boxers, undressing him and pushing with his feet on them to get rid of them, both of his hands now on the younger’s ass and pushing on it to bring him down and brush on Jin’s crotch and then up, finding a moment to bite his ear only to push again. “I want to make you scream of pleasure.” He said, letting one of his hands to roam on Kazuya’s back while the other went back on his crotch and started to tease it with slow and maddening touches.

“Kazuya…” Jin moaned into the boy’s ear, wanting to feel him melting in his arms and forget about any inhibitions he might have.

The younger’s body quivered and there were more than shivers running down his spine, he was engulfed in passion’s embrace, he was slowly swallowed by everything that Jin was and meant. Kazuya gulped and let himself fall back, giving all of him to Jin, surrendering to Jin. He began to buck his hips, wanting to feel more of Jin’s hands on his shaft. “Then… make me.” He managed to whisper, looking at Jin as his chest was rising fast, his breath hitching. “I’m all yours.” He added, gripping the sheets around him, enjoying the pleasure Jin’s fingers were offering him. He was incapable of doing more, he was slowly succumbing to the other’s will, he was getting lost in front of lust. Kazuya was losing where he thought he had the upper hand - Jin was making him burn because of desire, he was showing him sensations he hadn’t felt before… it was like another world - brightly colored - was in front of him and all he had to do was to jump into it, plunging deeply into it without regrets.

Jin’s brain stopped for a moment when he heard the younger’s plea, but quickly snapped out of it, the words having a huge impact on him and making him feel restless and more nervous and expectant than he already was. He brought both of his hands on Kazuya’s waist and turned them around in bed, settling on top of the boy and making him open his legs, having Kazuya naked and writhing under him. He entwined their hands and leaned over, capturing his lips into a slow kiss, tasting him, feeling him, remembering him. He let go of one hand and slipped his hand between their bodies, finding his crotch and pumping it as slowly as he was moving his lips, taunting and wanting to hear every sound that Kazuya made.

“I’m going to take every part of you.” Jin said with a low voice, his lips kissing Kazuya’s chest, his teeth biting his skin, his tongue playing with his nipples. “You’re only mine,” he continued as he fastened the moves of his hand on the younger’s groin, “and I want your body to know it.” Jin confessed as he licked Kazuya’s navel and sank his teeth around it to leave a mark.

Kazuya moaned deeply and throaty, his body shivering under Jin’s touch. The words Jin uttered sank deeply into his heart, making it fill with something that he couldn’t quite explain what it was. And his body totally accepted it, now arching and moving his hips up, the need of release slithering its way through all of his limbs. He brought his hand to Jin’s cheek, his thumb caressing gently, before going down and gripping tightly onto Jin’s shoulder as the first spasms of orgasm were slowly making their way to him. “J-Jin…” he moaned and writhed some more, licking his dry lips and moving his head from one side to another, the pleasure seeping deeply into his body. “D-don’t…” Kazuya managed to add, though the words mostly choked in his throat, being quickly followed by whimpers and moans.

Jin chuckled and climbed up with his tongue on Kazuya’s burning skin. “I don’t think that was the word I was expecting, Kazu-chan~” he teased as he continued to pump the younger’s shaft fast and hard, trying to bring him the release he seemed to be desperately needing. He stopped his lips above Kazuya’s and looked deeply into his eyes as a beautiful smirk formed on his excited face. “Do you really want me to stop, babe?” he asked, playfully licking Kazuya’s nose and laughing low, stopping his hand in the same time.

And the whine that followed showed clearly that Kazuya didn’t want such a thing to happen. But Jin kept teasing him and he wanted a clear answer, slowly moving his fingers, brushing briefly over the head, making the boy shiver in the touch. Kazuya squeezed his eyes shut, trying to suppress the urge to move into Jin’s hand, to cover it with his own and move it. He knew that Jin wouldn’t let him to do this, that he’d tease him more and Kazuya really didn’t need that now.

“N-no…” Kazuya moaned and looked pleadingly at Jin, biting his lips. “Don’t stop…” he added with a hoarse and needy voice, bringing his hand to grab onto Jin’s neck and crushing their mouths together into a wilder, needy kiss.

And Jin didn’t need anything else from the younger as he fastened his pace once more, kissing him back, entwining their tongues in a desperate and passionate dance. Kazuya felt how Jin had given up his tease and answered to his kiss, their tongues lacing in a desperate and passionate dance. His whole body shivered and started to give into the well known waves of orgasm, his hips bucking into Jin’s hand, control cast aside. He moaned into the kiss, Jin taking advantage and slipping his tongue deeper inside his mouth, swallowing all of his moans and whimpers.

It didn’t take long and soon Kazuya was met with his orgasm, gasping in the kiss as he came all over Jin’s hand, the whirlwind of pleasure he had been thrown into still raging in his body, making him feel weak in every limb. As he slowly rode the last wave of orgasm, Kazuya became once more aware of Jin, of his lips that were nibbling on his own, their harsh breaths entwining together.

They sat in silence for a few moments, only their heartbeats and breathing now being heard in the room. But Kazuya had something on his mind and he searched for Jin’s hand, grabbing it gently by the wrist and bringing it to his mouth, looking into Jin’s eyes as he slowly took one finger into his mouth, tasting his own essence, licking it clean.

“Let me…” Kazuya whispered, sending warm blows over the sucked finger. “… satisfy you now.” He added and gently pushed Jin away from him, making him lie down before he knelt beside him, passing his hand over Jin’s chest, gently tucking at the actor’s underwear. “Now… I need to hear your voice.” Kazuya breathed the words as he leaned over Jin, teasing his lips with his tongue.

The younger smirked as he heard the whimper Jin let out as he removed the cloth that was separating them from being naked together and his fingers brushed over the erected shaft, before they curled around it, squeezing it gently before moving his hand along it. With every move he could sense Jin’s breathing getting heavier, he could feel him writhe next to him, wanting more, yearning desperately for release. Kazuya took in Jin’s mouth, fully tasting his lips before diving his tongue inside the hot cavern, its thrusts matching with the rhythm of his moving hand.

He swallowed the actor’s throaty moan as he felt the shudder of orgasm gushing through Jin, making him spill over his hand, the sticky and lukewarm semen sliding down his fingers.

It took them a while to recover and when they did, Jin pulled the younger towards him and enveloped him in a hug, joining his arms around him and keeping him close to his heart in a protective way. He kissed Kazuya’s head and smiled, thinking that this was real and that Kazuya had really accepted him. The feeling was incredible and even if Jin was sure that he would want more eventually, he felt that this was enough for him and didn’t want to push the boy for more.

But… suddenly, Kazuya’s words rang into his ears. He had wanted Jin to make him his. He had given all of his body to Jin and… that usually meant that Kazuya had agreed to go all the way. Still, Jin hadn’t been able to do so, thinking at how scared the younger looked every time things went further than what was planned. He didn’t want that. That’s why he had stopped at a hand job and hadn’t made Kazuya his, though he had to admit that he was also a little scared about how could things would have turned out. After all, he had no idea about gay sex and had never done it with a man. Who would bottom? Would it be painful? What was he supposed to do if he had to prepare Kazuya? What was he supposed to do if he were to be prepared by Kazuya?!

“Kazuya?” he whispered the younger’s name with an uncertain voice. “Are you happy?” he asked, saying the first words that came through his mouth but being glad after for asking this.

Kazuya had his eyes closed when Jin called his name. He opened them lazily and a smile passed across his lips. “What’s with the question?” he chuckled at Jin’s inquire and cuddled some more into his arms. What they had done now was far from what a union between them would mean and Kazuya was more than aware of this. But even so, he felt satisfied with how things had gone this time, but his body told him that there was a need for more, there was more to be offered and to offer in such situations. But this thing had Kazuya feel frightened more than ever, because they will have to reach that stage. They will have to go all the way.

Jin bit his lips and tried to find an answer that wouldn’t sound weird. “I was just wondering…” he trailed off, stopping for a few moments before continuing his thought, “…if you are happy. With me.” He added to make himself clear. “If you’re happy or satisfied or content or… the contrary…” he whispered the last words with a small voice, not really wanting to be heard.

Kazuya supported himself on one elbow and looked at Jin with sparkling eyes. “Are you feeling unsure?” he asked and there was a tint of tease in his soft voice. “Are you unsure of whether I felt good or not, being with you like this?” Kazuya leaned and breathed the words over Jin’s lips.

“I’m not unsure about that, I heard your loud moans and silent pleas for more, so I’m pretty sure I did a fine job with that.” Jin replied immediately with a smug expression and a little mocking voice.

Kazuya frowned and as a punishment, bit Jin’s lower lip a bit harder than he would have done and gaining a yelp from the actor. “Then why do you ask if you’re so sure about your success?” he scowled and put his head back on Jin’s chest.

The actor sighed and rested back on the bed, tightening a little his grip on Kazuya. “I just wanted to know what you think about all this.” He finally said, feeling a little embarrassed to talk about this and especially at a time like this. But he won’t have the guts to ask later so it was now or never. “How do you feel about… having sex with me.” He said, his heart stopping as he uttered the words and waited for Kazuya’s answer.

So this was what Jin was wondering about. Kazuya smiled to himself, his lover was a bit too cute sometimes. “Don’t know…” he answered as he began trailing circles with his index finger on Jin’s chest. “It’s not like we had sex yet.” He added, his eyes following the movement of his finger. “What we did tonight… it was new and maybe a bit weird. But it felt -” Kazuya paused and let his words linger, settle. “- great. I only had you on my mind, I only felt you and I didn’t want anyone else.” He continued, feeling his heart hammering against his ribs. “And I still don’t want anyone else.” The younger added with a soft, small voice, almost like a whisper.

“Glad to know that.” Jin smiled satisfied and placed a light kiss on the younger’ temple. “It really was incredible, wasn’t it?” he sighed longingly and tightened his hold around Kazuya’s waist. “And…” he continued with a slight uncertain voice, not allowing the boy to say anything, “it makes our relationship and what comes next more real, doesn’t it?” Jin asked, wanting to say something about having really sex but not knowing how to approach the subject. “I mean…” he added, yet again not giving Kazuya the chance to answer, “if you agree to repeat this. Or to… do more.” He finally said the words, biting his tongue in nervousness and hoping that he won’t need to explain more than this. It was already embarrassing enough that he had to talk about sex after what happened between them, but to even say it out loud and ask Kazuya what was his opinion about having sex with Jin… then the actor was ready to hang himself.

Kazuya chuckled at Jin’s words and his circling thumb found one of the older one’s nipple and began teasing it unconsciously. “We’ll have sex sooner or later, if that’s what you’re trying to say.” He said with a steady voice, unlike Jin’s. “I’m a curious person and right now you’re the center of my curiosity.” He continued and pinched on the nub. “Besides, neither of us had done this so… we need to wait a little, to get used to us. Or at least, that’s how it is for me.” Kazuya added and spread his palm over the teased nipple, as if trying to soothe it after playing with it.

Jin smiled widely and felt how a sudden urge to do just that engulfed him, but he kept his calm and controlled his feelings, letting only his loud pounding heart to be the only one announcing his excitement. He didn’t know if Kazuya realized what he had said, but after the younger had given to them so little chances of being together and staying like that, it was kind of comforting to hear him saying that they had time and that their relationship will only progress from here. It meant that he had began to trust Jin, to trust them and Jin felt like dancing only thinking that soon Kazuya might reciprocate his feelings and finally say back the magical words.

“It’s the same for me too.” The actor confessed with a light tone, the happiness obvious in his voice too. He searched for Kazuya’s hand and entwined it with his, the ring from his pinky finger glowing in the darkness of the room. “One step at a time.” He added, burying his head into the younger’s hair and giggling into it, feeling like a little child. There were going to be fine and Jin was sure that a lot of new experiences were waiting for them. They just had to have faith in them. Slowly, but surely, they were going to solve all their problems.

Just one step at a time.