New Vid! Sam Winchester - Scars

[ash48]

Title: Sam Winchester - Scars
Vidder: Ash48
Music by: Elegeion
Length: 3.03m Size: 60 mb
Category: Angst, character study
Summary: Scars on my skin, my heart and my soul

Made for spn_littlebro's hc_bingo challenge. The prompt is "scars".

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Thanks

This was not an easy vid for me. It's been a while since I've made such an angsty vid and I felt like I forgot how. I was extremely lucky to have brilliant betas who gave me thoughtful, helpful and excellent notes and helped me work through vidding problems I had with it.

Mega thanks to counteragent for all her hard work and amazing suggestions. There's no way I would have completed this without you. I loves ya - I hope you know that. Thanks to killabeez for great ideas and reminding me about better artistic choices (I love that stuff so thank you! <33) And special thanks to the lovely el1ie for her thoughtful feedback and helping me articulate exactly what I was doing here. *hugs* to all you lovely ladies. Oh, and to my test audience at a recent gathering...<333

Notes

Season 8 Sam was difficult for me to get my head and heart around so I felt like I needed to vid something to help me sort it out. When I saw the hc_bingo prompt for "scars" it made me think of the scars that Sam carries - physical, mental and emotional, so I went looking for a song. It's rare that I find a song that matches what I am thinking about. I knew in my head exactly what I wanted to do, but getting the images to match the intent was extremely difficult. I am not kidding when I say my betas were instrumental in helping me make this. Their honesty and suggestions/ideas were extremely helpful.

I think, like any fanwork, it can be interpreted according to your view and approach to a character. I have lots of feelings and ideas on Sam and I have attempted to express them in this. But I accept that what I see and what others see/feel might be different.

For me, this is about how Sam got to the place he did when he confessed that his biggest sin is letting Dean down. I wanted to explore that and look at how Sam sees his "sins". I also wanted to look at what Sam has been through over the years and try and capture a little of that. He was completely broken at the end of S8 and even though I accept the story telling was uneven, I wanted to use what we were given.

Dean doesn't fair too well, but it's not about me looking down on the character but rather presenting a Dean that Sam was thinking about when he entered the confessional. I usually make vids about how their brotherly love saves them. I see this as more about how their love damages them (Ack! Those Winchesters and their co-dependance).

I have a heap of thoughts about the choices I've made and what moments represent in my mind. I won't explain them now, but if you have questions please ask. You know me, I love chatting about characters AND vidding. :))

Lyrics: here