According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...


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i look at her and turn away. pretend not to notice i saw her standing there with her perfect family of three. church. two rows behind us and to the left. i'm supposed to be paying attention. i fix my hair. always this competing between us to be the best. the prettiest. the most popular. the one all the boys want. i glance again, careful ( Read more... )

my mom comes over to say goodnight...looks at the picture i'm sketching on the table, pencil still in hand..."pretty" she says as though she's supposed to mutter something improtant about my art work. i flich as she bends down to kiss me cheek. goodnight mom i say in a cold, even tone. stop it, ashley, i think to myself...don't you dare ruin her ( Read more... )

you want to know the truth? i loved him so much. never more in love. i was so ready to give anything for him. ANYTHING. i would have given my whole life. and in some ways, i did. i gave my happiness. i have my trust. i gave my fucking self...starved myself. cut my wrists. for him. for a boy. that's how it all fucking started. i didn't ( Read more... )

i need to write. yes, i'm going to write. i always say it...and then i get passed one little peice of my mind and i'm thinking, just STOP ashley...no one wants to read this crap. but i need to let it out. i'm not getting anywhere keeping it in. and i'm ususally the only one who reads this journal...so really it's okay. i should know by now ( Read more... )

when was the last time i really let myself go? in wriing...it just being free and typing and letting these thoughts be what they are ( Read more... )

happy ashley. keep smiling. fuck it...don't give a fucking fuck if you're not happy ( Read more... )

do you know what i did to myself to be this way? do you know what it takes for me to sit here and type all the pain and trouble and hurting i endured for the path of anorexia...bulimia...my eating disorder which was supposed to FREE me ( Read more... )

you sit here writing things like maybe a mango landed on your tongue ( Read more... )

going through old rgp diaries. love this song in Caela's ( Read more... )