life sucks... i wish someone cared about me. i have gotten to the point where everything is like a blur to me and all i can do is watch as other people live my life for me doing with me as they please and when its convenient and then disposing of me as fast as possible. i have no real friends. today and the last month have sucked beyond belif and ( Read more... )

i dont really know where to start. i guess the fact that i cant keep any food down and i throw up all the time isnt helping. i dont know if its because im so hurt i cant function yet i still manage to be myself and cool and flirty when im with him. i feel so abandoned and alone. i dont know how im going to get through this week alive. at least i ( Read more... )

so i was messing around on myspace today (no i dont have one bc i dont update enough to make a new one of these cool lil online journals) and i came across an old friends myspace Mitchell Ryan. this is what it said ( Read more... )

i cant belive i almost let myself lose something so dear to me and it took a yelling arguement and two weeks of tears to bring it to my attention. I cannot believe how dumb i am sometimes. Its all ok because at least i did realize it before it was too late and i couldnt stop the cycle of bad things. I feel so loved and special that i still have an ( Read more... )

i get mad for no reason...

i just sent in my jc application...

today sucks ass...

and i think i just saw a drug deal...

today sucks still...

grrr...

why is is so cold up here?

so today totally rocks... i got my JC letter!!! I made up with Charles!!! I slept through half my classes so im full of energy now and ready for action!!! I worked out!!! and and and ITS FONDUE FOR DINNERRRRRRRRRR!!! yay yay yay yay yay yay

so im completly head over heels in love and i didnt even mean for it to happen but it did and i never want to mess it up... im so glad he is patient im not very good at this whole "long term relationship" thing i mean you'd think i was but when it comes down to it i have NOO exoerience so i do dumb things and i have to learn how to accept people ( Read more... )

maybe i have gone psyco... i just dont want to lose what i have. it seems crazy when i look at it later but at the time it seems so important and all i want to do is get a hug and have them all agree but it always ends up with me feeling bad and dumb. he always understands... always... and he puts up with me. im so lucky! WOW

life is amazing!

today has been the best day of my life... i spent last night with Amanda, Charles, Thomas, and sleeping Mark... it was so fun just to relax and be with people i liked. idk why but i really enjoyed it. so Marina (that girl who moved to rhode island) is back. Charles and here were something a long time ago idk for some reason i dont care, i know he ( Read more... )

Welcome to the new edition of getting to know your ( Read more... )