how do they expect me to think that nothing is going on when all the signs are there and are being shoved in my face everyday. once i think im just overereacting, something else comes up to bring back the belief that something is going on. i wish i could just trust what i want to believe and go on with my day

my mind is going in so many directions. i dont know whats happening anymore. its like i have been on a never-ending rollercoaster with so many ups, downs, turns, and twists that im going to be sick. i want to make him happy but its seems impossible. i regret, almost more than anything else in my life, hiding my true feelings from him and treating ( Read more... )

all i can think about is that one incident. it wasnt even that big of a deal, until i kept thinking about it. i cant get it out of my head. in reality, i dont think that it matters much, but in my heart, its everything. not with me but everyone else?? i dont get it....maybe its supposed to teach me something. who knows. 
answers-something i need ( Read more... )

i feel so empty and so lost....

no one will probably understand this but i dont care

im losing it all
i promise im not faking it. its real, all of it. i just didnt show it before, but they dont understand, and i dont expect them to. i just wish they could.  my everything is leaving and it might not come back. im going to be lost without it.  what will i do? they cant force it and ( Read more... )

i hate it here sometimes....i just want to get out....

i feel really bad and im sorry that he has to go through it too....at least he can leave and go somewhere

*-ash

so instead of sept 8th...they decided to take out my wisdom teeth last friday....bitches

everything went well, until i couldnt keep down the vicodin. so we call the dr. and he says go to the hospital and get a shot. that pretty much felt like someone lit my butt on fire. the next day im swollen and i look like i have a a grapefruit in each cheek, ( Read more... )

i found out today that i have to have my wisdom teeth dug out....

umm, yeah....

OW!!!!!!

i have until september 8th to prepare myself for this trauma...cant wait

i NEED her back

all the time i think about her being gone and not coming back. my mind cant grasp the fact that she wont be at school or at the next pride
meeting. everytime i think, "maybe this time she'll be here. she has just been busy or something."
yes im wrong, i know that this is real, but it cant be. it been almost two months and sometimes ( Read more... )

its been forever. actually, its always forever before i decide to update this thing. i could say not much as gone on, but looking back on it all, a lot of things has happened. i thought my home situation, if you want to call it that, was getting better. yeah, i was wrong. things are just twirling along in this big vicious circle. but to make it ( Read more... )