i thought this is what i wanted, to have james and rich, but now i only have half of each of them and i hate it. I wish I just had one... I feel so pathetic. LIke I'm a huge fucking loser. I don't even realize what I have til it's gone.

I weight 165 :(
Super diet tomorrow

January 3
RSH <3: Good morning my precious baby girl
January 6
RSH <3: I do miss you baby. i realized i over reacted today. even though we got to the point of it, it didn't have to escalate where i did and i am 100% wrong for the way i acted. so im sorry for the way things ended up because it was me who took it to another level...
Jan
RSH <3: ( Read more... )

Mon Dec 19, 2011 ( Read more... )

August 10, 2011 ( Read more... )

Oct 25, 2011 ( Read more... )

live is pretty bad now.. i weigh 182... yikes. i have no motivation to do ANYTHING. II keep getting B-'s FML.

Home for the summer once again. This is so crazy how time goes by. I love James, but I'm not sure I'm in love with him. Gonna sound crazy but I miss that "obsessed" feeling I had with him. I won't see him for about 25 days and I'm not that sad... Eh, it will work itself out hopefully. This summer we're splitting the costs of everything. I have to ( Read more... )

yesterday i literally felt like dying with the pain of my cramps. I was so upset and in pain and emotional that what did i do? I fucking called james and said we should get back together. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY FUCKING LIFE. everything is back to the fucking wy it was before and i fucking hate it already ( Read more... )

so life is... i'm not sure. It's good, in general. I am at 4cs again, taking 17 credits, holy shit i might just die. But hopefully it will be fine. We'll see. James is good, I guess. I mean I know its only been 2 or 3 days since ive seen him, but i don't miss him like i used to. I mean I used to cry and wait for him. Is that what love is, or is ( Read more... )

James was/is a druggie. Broke up wth him, took him back, but I'm over him, for real this time. My life would just be so sucking easy if james weren't in it. I hate the guy who james is. He used to be sweet, now... idk, like im just over him. It's his fault tho.