Captain Jack's Holiday Mail Bag!

[ask_captainjack]

TWO GREAT PIECES OF HOLIDAY ADVICE IN MY MAIL BAG FOR YOU!

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Dear Captain Jack:

What is Christmas like in the future? Do you get presents?

- PrincessPea

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Comments

[ask_theginger]

Dear Jack boy, your wish of having a functional wish will be an eternal wish. Most likely a thousand years, I would say.

However lasers is possible. They will be rifted over to you as soon as I get the Tardis back.

[ask_captainjack]

A THOUSAND YEARS!?

That's a long time to wait, Doctor. Theresa will be too old to visit Caprica by then.

WAIT, I could use the timestrap to come back in time and take my crew on vacation...

SHIT. I don't want my sexy crew going on vacation with another man. Another older, more futuristic, faster, sexier version of me!

This requires more thinking...

[ask_aboutcoffee]

You could take yourself, too.

But then you might make out with yourself.

Not that I'd find that hot or anything.

[ask_theginger]

Now, that is the best benefits of time travel dear Ianto. You have caught on well!

[ask_arealdoctor]

Hello? I'm here! I brought mince-substitute pies and space chestnuts for roasting!

Has anyone seen John? This morning I gave him a rocket sled and eight tiny robo-reindeer, and after he got over his tantrum that the robo-reindeer weren't anatomically correct, he took off in the sled and I haven't seen him since.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

....when you see him, remind him that he doesn't have my cock.

I think he might have a banana with a bow around it.

[ask_arealdoctor]

Of course he doesn't have your cock! Aren't you still using it?

By the way, you have red ribbon caught in your fly.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Oh balls.

Literally.

Just, don't look, I'll fix it.

[inquireof_liz]

Ah, excuse me? But I also received an odd transmission. Since, ah, I may have mentioned this party on the post where the transmission was received, and since the mysterious individual mentioned finding this party...

We may have extra visitors arriving.

Now, where do you want the snacks?

Harold

[ask_exterminate]

YOUR HOVERLIMO LEAVES A DISTINCTIVE IONIC TRAIL.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

JESUS CHRIST

IT'S A DALEK

GET IN THE CAR HOVERSUV.

[ask_captainjack]

IT'S IN THE BAY.

SORT OF.

THE BACK WHEELS ARE SPINNING NEAR THE DOCK.

I knew it was pointless to put wheels on a hover-SUV!

[mrsalemp]

Sorry Jack, we didn't check your wish list before we came so Hank and I just got you this bottle of vintage eggnog. Hope that will do?

NO HANK! You can't have it. No not even if he turns it down

[ask_captainjack]

I LOVE that you nogged me in this sexy vintage fashion.

How hot is your icon? It sizzles!

[mrsalemp]

Hank is glad you approve, he'd tell you himself but he's too busy dancing in a most embarrassing way.

[shadowedkit]

And it is the Wedding dance all over.... No Jonas though.

*waves* Happy Grimmas everyone! Hope the 53rd century is being lovely to you, goodluck with the festive Dalek.

Patti, I will see you after Christmas. Be good with Hank, and I'll think of you when laying on the beaches in Hawaii with Hansel.dealing with the Rift Outbreaks around Earth.

[namedthestars]

A new space ship and a Owen...

[ask_captainjack]

I can't believe it - He wasn't goo after all, namedthestars...

Just goes to show that when you think somebody is dead, they might not actually be dead, so closing and appropriating their bank accounts and awesome condos is probably not the right thing to do.

[namedthestars]

So he's okay?

[ask_captainjack]

Oh he's ok...He might be a bit pissed at me at the moment.

Don't look at me with those huge horrified Zooey Deschanel eyes.

I did my best!