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John:

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I've been Skinned. It could have been worse; I could have been Boned.

Well, actually I've been Skinned and Muscled, but that doesn't sound nearly as funny.

After quite a bit of tinkering, I was able to recalibrate Owen's Boner -- I'm sorry, I simply can not use that name for it! I recalibrated the Bone Setter to knit the skin and muscle in my ( Read more... )

ALL TEAM AND ALLIES REPORT IN NOW!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. REPEAT NOT A DRILL. THE MASTER IS IN CARDIFF. I don't give a damn if you don't know who that is, and I CERTAINLY don't care if you think his name is a laughing matter. JUST GET HERE AND BRING BIG FUCKING GUNS. NOW!

UPDATE: STAND DOWN, REMAIN ALERT. The sick twisted bastard was just ( Read more... )

Seeing as I'm stuck here on desk/lab/Rift duty while my leg heals, I may as well do the project update I didn't get to do yesterday ( Read more... )

Well, that went... pretty horribly, actually.

This was going to be my usual project update, but, um, I've had to stitch my own leg and give myself a tetnus shot and I'm kind of woozy from the pain meds. I DIDN'T KNOW WEEVILS ARE PEOPLE! I NEVER would have tested an untried batch of retcon on Weevils if I'd known ( Read more... )

I can cure Thager syndrome and Zyth plague. I have treatments for 13 out of 16 known strains of Space Herpes. I have diagnostic equipment that won't be invented for centuries, and medicines from several galaxies ( Read more... )

Sorry to interrupt, but if anyone's around could you possibly come down to the morgue? That noise you're hearing is all the LOCKED drawers slamming open and there are dead people crawling out and I'm trying to push them all back in and pile things against the doors but I'm running out of chairs and boxes and HOW MANY DEAD PEOPLE ARE DOWN HERE ( Read more... )

I must have these.


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We're all celebrating my brilliant colleague's justly deserved award, and I hate to break into the party, but...

Has anyone seen Max-Theresa and Tomb Raider?  I haven't seen them since the awards were announced.

When last seen, Max looked like this and Tomb Raider looked like that.    I'm sure they're around here somewhere.