Hectic Ministry Business

[asklucius]

It seems that I shall have to shorten my family time this Christmas for Ministry business. Not that we are Christians, mind you, but it is a time to spend with your family. And more importantly a time away from such ignorant wastrels such as Fudge. But it seems that I shall have to curtail my time in order to ensure that current raids do not sink

Comments

[lanthiriel]

I plan to revel in the gluttony of presents, good food, and repeated viewings of the Return of the King. (Lord of the Rings= silly muggle obsession. But, ooh, the goodness.)

[asklucius]

So in other words, you'll be wasting your time? You should consider instead practicing the Imperius curse on your pets so that you are prepared for the dark days that are coming in service to the Dark Lord.

[lanthiriel]

"So in other words, you'll be wasting your time? "

Precisely.

Practicing the Imperius curse is an option, but I'd much rather be practicing the Cruciatus on the evil muggle that butchered my film-going experience by making inanely stupid comments throughout the entire 3 hours and 20 minutes.

::zooms:: ::does so::

[asklucius]

That is a good target and a good thing to practice. Although outside of the theatre, you don't want to bother others with the screaming.

[theconstant]

Evil plans, yes. ::Shan't say much more.:: Watch RotK before I start killing people. ::Getting tired of people running up to her and asking ... "HAVE YOU SEEN IT YET?! OMG, WHY HAVEN'T YOU SEEN IT YET?!" ...:: Maybe because I have a life ...? And, of course, gluttony of presents, yatta, yatta ...

[asklucius]

Perhaps you should respond with that very thing. "I have not seen it because I have better things to do than to fritter away my time in a darkened Muggle-infested germ factory."

[theconstant]

Ah, brilliant ... I knew your column was useful for something.

[asklucius]

And you didn't even have to ask for my brilliance. It just came to you.

[dawniky]

No evil plans as such but sadly I have attacked by an evil plot. I have lots of work from my college to do. Any suggestion? Potions, spells I could use against the teachers?

[asklucius]

As I was suggesting earlier, you might consider your free time well spent brushing up on the Imperius curse. If you do that instead of your homework, when you return you may use the curse to convince your professors that you did complete the assignment spectacularly.

[dawniky]

Ah good. But I'm only 17, so I'm not sure that my magically ability is powerful enough to perform such a complex spell.

[asklucius]

Then you're not trying hard enough.

[istykat]

i intend to smoke a great deal of herb, drink large quantities of mulled wine and rape virgins. no holiday would be complete with the raping of virgins. wouldn't you agree?

[asklucius]

It's getting harder and harder to find virgins to rape every year here in London. But it's hardly the holidays without the screaming.

[petite_yuki]

Evil plans? Burning my parents' house in South-West France.
My parents have no taste when it comes to choose a nice little place where to find a house.

[asklucius]

Well it could be a lovely place to have a home. But I suppose if it is in poor taste, burning is your only option. Will they be in it?

[petite_yuki]

There are many other lovely places in France to have a house. They chose a deserted place and the only neighbours we have are peasants (in other words, Muggles of under-average intelligence).
I may wait till they're in, indeed.

[asklucius]

I do not understand their choice to inhabit such a place. Perhaps they are social climbers who wish to lay claim to a little place in France? I detest social climbers, do burn them in it.