Come All Ye Faithful

[askvoldemort]

Well, it seems that our little Muggle friend, zaki doubts the voracity of my followers. I myself have begun to wonder how many of you are here in name only, but are unwilling or unable to show their loyalty to me. Tell me what it is you would do to her to let her know how you feel about her doubts about you.

Comments

[devancain]

Greetings again, Lord Voldemort. Since she is a Muggle...hmm... Chinese water torture sounds awfully tempting.

[lanthiriel]

On that same vein, I'm far more tempted by the cutting of small holes into her flesh all around her body, and placing burning wax candles in them. Tapers, of course, so while she's tied, she can watch the levels of the candles sink until they eventually singe her and burn her to death. Gives her ample time to rethink her doubt, my Lord.

[zaki]

A more creative suggestion, but you've obviously never tried it on someone before. I can think of several problems that would arise from this:

(1) The wax tapers would go out the moment they ran out of wax. Duh. The most I'd get would be a little blister. Uncomfortable, admittedly, but certainly not fatal.

(2) To actually burn me to death with this method, you'd have to cut so many holes in my skin that I'd rapidly perish from blood loss. Messy and quick. No fun at all.

(3) A dessication spell might dry out my skin enough to set it alight. But I'd be dead by then, and what fun would that be?

Much more creative, and what an interesting centerpiece it'd make for your next Dark Revel!

But I'm not impressed. Nor am I worried.
My Lord, these are obviously Muggles you're dealing with here. Even I could come up with better torture methods, and I don't even wield a wand!

Next!

[askvoldemort]

Well, I suppose the thinking there was that we didn't wish to actually kill you but give you some time to think. Discomfort would be part of it. Perhaps you're thinking of those dripless candles. Hot wax on open flesh would be more painful than regular flesh.

[istykat]

My Lord, may I suggest that you merely kill her entirely? A piano wire tied around her neck and pulled from both directions would not only end her weak bantor but her useless head would pop off like a piece of rotten fruit. Of course, I would cut out her tongue and shove it in a rather dirty orifice before I removed her retarded noggin, but that's just me.

[zaki]

Aw, shucks. How boring is that? Surely my teasing deserves a more creative ending than that!

Of course, perhaps I'm overestimating your creativity and your intelligence. Retard, indeed. Your lack of understanding is mockworthy. Mock mock mockity mock mock.

Judgement: MUGGLE!

Next!

[istykat]

Aw, shucks?

Mock mock mockity mock mock?

What are you? 12?

Oh gods, you are aren't you? You're a 12 year old posing as an adult in order to recieve attention. How thrilled you must be that everyone is focusing on your demise. It's certainly something to tell the horde of prepubescent, pimple faced, hermione wannabees that you undoubtedly call your friends, during your new year's eve slumber party. I can see it now, all of you sipping sparkling alcohol free cider, wearing your spongebob squarepants pajamas, watching "The Sorceror's Stone" and cooing over how dirty and sexy Professor Snape is.

Does your Mother know you write here? Or did she leave you when you began to toddle because she found you as unbearable as the rest of us?

I suggest you save your infantile comments to those who would actually find them offensive. Like the other girls in your clan who read Tiger Beat and buy their cosmetics at Gadzooks.

[zaki]

You're an actress and have two degrees under your belt- is that the best you can do...? I would have expected a bit more perception and creativity.

I suggest you save your accusations-of-being-infantile comments to those who would actually find them offensive.

*blows a kiss*

As for being unbearable, if my Lord Voldemort asks me to get lost, I shall happily do so.

[zaki]

An excellent suggestion, My Lord Voldemort! I have long suspected they're all talk and no action.

Were I them, I know exactly what I'd do. *evil grin* But I don't want to give anyone ideas. My weaknesses are obvious for those with eyes to see and the initiative to seek them.

[iluvlabyrinth]

Since I am without magical ways to kill someone, I would have to say I would perform dissection without anesthetics. I suppose that's not very creative, but I imagine it would be very painful.

[zaki]

I like this one, only because I have been accused of being a vivisector by virtue of believing in and performing animal research. It's untrue in my case, but those animal rights nuts love to exaggerate the Evilness of Scientists.

You get the approval stamp! True minion.

[askvoldemort]

Although this would kill you.

[zaki]

Well, yes....that was the point, wasn't it? ;)

I wasn't expecting pleas for mercy to be heeded at that point, if you ordered such drastic measures to be taken.

[bellatrix_les]

Although it's be quite trademark from me to suggest a nice and quick Crucio, My Lord... I think that also some slow mutilation with an axe, who would know.

You know by extent, my Lord, that I'm one of the most if not the most faithful of your servants.

[askvoldemort]

I think a nice slow Crucio would be better for her. Something that extends the pain.