Depression in others can be a difficult thing to deal with: I know I ended up distancing myself from a close friend because I couldn't cope with her depression on top of the difficulties in my own life.
But I'm glad you've got to grips with being A. I went through the whole, "Am I bi? Am I lesbian?" thing when I was young, and eventually realised that I'm A on the physical side, but bi-romantic (I've always preferred to fall in love with historical or literary characters!). There is, I think, a strong overlap between being A and being Aspie.
Something also to bear in mind with your girlfriend: in Sexuals (i.e. people who aren't A by orientation), lack of interest in sex can in itself be a symptom of depression.
When my wife and I got together, I was still dealing with extreme depression, and she had undiagnosed bipolar disorder, with very strong downswings. We needed different kinds of help from each other. I needed to be given things to do to distract me, and period affirmations that it was just my brain f-ing with me. She needed me to continually, day after day, affirm that she was worth something, at least to me. The first one is way easier than the second, because the second takes time and persistence, or at least stubbornness. But I think the second is more lasting, because the longer you're able to do it, the more evidence they have to believe their worth
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But I'm glad you've got to grips with being A. I went through the whole, "Am I bi? Am I lesbian?" thing when I was young, and eventually realised that I'm A on the physical side, but bi-romantic (I've always preferred to fall in love with historical or literary characters!). There is, I think, a strong overlap between being A and being Aspie.
Something also to bear in mind with your girlfriend: in Sexuals (i.e. people who aren't A by orientation), lack of interest in sex can in itself be a symptom of depression.
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The fight is hers. What you CAN do is be there for her and support her unconditionally.
Another helpful thing to do is to remember to look out for your own health and emotional wellbeing, too.
The other commenters here have given some really good advice, and I would like to echo all of it.
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