Me Again, Her Again...

May 08, 2015 18:46

Hey I'm back ( Read more... )

depression

Leave a comment

Comments 12

pklemica May 9 2015, 00:19:49 UTC
You have to take care of yourself first. Something I learned in the middle of college, spreading myself too thin trying to help all the people I cared about: if you do not take care of yourself, if you let everyone you love take up all your resources and energy and reserves right now until there's absolutely nothing left, then you're done, not able to help anyone anymore. If you want to be able to keep taking care of people, sometimes it means saying "I can't help you right now, I don't have anything left." It sucks. But you deserve to be taken care of too, and if you can't do it for your own sake, do it for the sake of all the people you love who you won't be able to take care of in the future if you don't take care of yourself now.

Reply


gavinfox May 9 2015, 03:11:04 UTC
Leave. Immediately. Cut your losses and go!

Reply

imbars_twin May 10 2015, 03:48:16 UTC
Can't. Price of living here is insane, and we've got months to go on the lease.

Reply

gavinfox May 10 2015, 04:50:25 UTC
Than kick her out.

Reply


silverwhistle May 9 2015, 11:13:37 UTC
Get out before she destroys your life, too. People like this are effectively 'psychological vampires'.

Reply


beauty_forashes May 9 2015, 15:12:59 UTC
You're not being selfish, you've already done more and had more patience than most people ever would. But you know you have to leave, right? Else she'll pull you down the drain right with her, since that's where she's headed, with your help or without it.

Reply

My head agrees, but my heart breaks imbars_twin May 10 2015, 03:47:04 UTC
She's one of the first people to unconditionally accept every part of me that is thrown her way. when she isn't wallowing in self pity, she's amazingly open minded and thoughtful.

Coming from a steadfast, traditional Irish Catholic family that gave me a lot of courage. I might still be hiding in my room, only leaving for work, food and necessities, if not for her.

She makes it fun to be spontaneous and not so caged by rules and rituals.

Reply

Re: My head agrees, but my heart breaks beauty_forashes May 10 2015, 03:58:59 UTC
I completely understand that, I've been in a relationship too that dragged me down to the pits and I couldn't bring myself to end it just like that, even knowing that was the best thing to do.

At some point, staying is just as painful, or more painful, as leaving. That's the point where you can put your walking boots on. Probably not before.

Reply


calcifermagnet May 9 2015, 16:49:27 UTC
When your own family rejects you, it can sometimes feel like you don't deserve anyone, and she's trying to push you away because she doesn't deserve you, and she can justify "see, everyone leaves me" by pushing you away and forcing you to leave.

I've never known what to do when someone self destructs, because I don't feel it's the right answer, but sometimes there is no right answer. But it seems like she is still heading "down" and hasn't hit rock bottom yet.

Are you in any kind of counseling? You have to be able to set boundaries that will keep you safe. It's a fine line between caring and enabling.

Reply

Working on it imbars_twin May 10 2015, 03:40:19 UTC
I went to a psychiatrist for a while in college, but not since then. I'm working on finding someone I'm comfortable with in my area.

I did corner her into seeing one, however.

I am (increasingly) aware that my overly optimistic and naive outlook on life oft times allows (or even encourages) people to take advantage of me. I also have trouble saying no and some basic self esteem issues (thanks Dad!).

I'm sure talking things out with a professional will help, but finding the right professional is a pain in the ass.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up