He has never looked for me there. He's probably never looked for me anywhere. Finding him was a huge mistake. I just want to let go. But instead Im trying to work my way back in. But knowing that it might not be me would make my fucking life. Please just think about me sometimes ( Read more... )

He pulled me out of somewhere. I was sitting at the computer writing in my journal and wearing this very same oversized sweatshirt and pajama pants a year ago when he called me. I was sad and lonely. It was self induced. He made me want to interact. I need him here to make me want to do things and see people. Because Im already planning on ( Read more... )

I'm restless. I can't sleep. It shouldn't be for him.

So we're opperating under the assumption that he would know. I guess I don't like this game as much as I thought I would. Lets stop playing.
Justin is moving to North Carolina in just a matter of days. I don't know what to do. There is nothing I could do. I wont be able to stand it when he's gone.

I hung out with Tawn today. She and Josh faught the entire time. Which just makes for an awkward day for me. She gets mad at him for getting along with me. She had a Bush/Cheney sticker on her car. I didn't bring it up because I remembered her parents being strong republicans and I didn't want to have that fight. But I also didn't want to be ( Read more... )

Tonight I attended the funeral of someone I loved very dearly.

I kicked 7 people and punched 5 others while I was there. They weren't ok.

I made out with a boy just like you tonight. Cute. Smart. Funny. Incredible kisser.

I don't answer your calls. I don't return them either. I am mad at you. I will get over it. But I still wont want to be your friend. You lied to me and I really didn't like you that much to start with. And so we'll call it a phase I went through. Forget my number. Please don't call me.

I've locked myself in my room. I'm hiding from my problems. But when I'm here alone I just feel like I'm surrounded by them. They're such petty little things too. But they pile on top of eachother and I get lost in them. I'd rather get lost in you. You in this case being a person I have yet to meet. A person who makes me forget....everything

And so I slept with her. I did all of those things that I was wanting to do.
I wish that we could both be vampires. We could seduce people together. Seduce them and then sink our teeth into them.