so i'm finally moving out of the apartment. we're finally selling the house that i've lived in for basically all my life. i spent my last real night there wed night. i'm going to dance class tuesday night and ima stop by and say goodbye. it's hard thinking someone else is gonna be living there. i don't like it. i dunno, last summer everything ( Read more... )

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i'm freaking out. i am completely crazy. i'm tired of all this shit. i'm tired of it. i can't stand it anymore. it's just gone way too far. i don't even feel like a person anymore. i don't feel like i'm living. it's like i'm watching a moive or tv show. it's like i'm someone else, or like it's a dream, but not in a sense that it's so amazing, just ( Read more... )

i've been seeing a lot of movies lately. not much has happened in the past while. i went and saw potc for the third time. yeea, and then saw most of shawshank redemption. and tonight i saw seven, and memento. i have all these movies that i really wanna see. i've started listing them on this dry erase board. here's it's running. all of them i've ( Read more... )

i'm coming back tonight for dance class. then ima go see potc for the third time with linds. i hope i don't fall asleep during the movie. these punch card dance classes have been pretty tough. i dunno. i'm in the mood for lyrical or modern. i hope we have one of them tonight. or hip-hop, but they already had that. maybe the teacher will come back. ( Read more... )

shoot me now, please. i hate this, i hate this, i hate this. i need something, a cigarrette, a drink, a fuck, not even a fuck, just some "fun". i dunno, i need to get my mind off shit and i can't because i'm too fucking much of a fucking loser. and now i'm pissed off too. i'm gonna go get drunk. or as drunk as i can.

grrrrrrr

what's wrong with me. i feel weird. really really weird....

i've been trying to quit, it's been a week, but god damn i need a cigarrette...

yes i am a pussy bitch. so after the 2 hours of practice until lunch time, i was already so mad i was ready to kill someone. and not the like "i'm gonna smack" you kris mad. no i was shaking and like ready to kill the next person who crossed me. sam wasn't there, thank god. but still, something about it made me want to vomit. worse, no, i was about ( Read more... )

atleast that's what danielle calls them. i feel like i'm gonna puke. i'm about to head out. i think that u shouldn't go to anything that makes u feel unbelievable amounts of dread. and yet i'm still on gaurd. god i'm a masochist. i just love to be where i work my ass off, and be under appreciated, and that makes me feel like spending a few hours ( Read more... )

yea, can't sleep. this is great. the clinic better be fucking exhausting and it better work me pretty damn hard. i want the exercise, now that i only have dance once a week. but of course, i probly won't even break a sweat. last time i was outside all day for the clinic, 10-3, and i was barely sweaty...

ugh, only 5 more hours...

5 more horrible