-
Life in loopy lane
It seems so long since I have written in this journal, or allowed myself to think about what is going on around me. Depression has hit me hard this winter, and I am out of the meds that keep me somewhat less sad, and trying to get yourself out of a clinical depression is HARD ( Read more... ) -
life
Sometimes, I think that my life is met with some horrible resistance to being ok. When one part of my life is going good, then something in an another area has to go south. It's not my imagination. It's just the way it is ( Read more... ) -
sick
I am getting a "cold", which is most likely going to turn into something nasty, since I am on my combo of immune system killers. I am scheduled for an infusion on monday, and if this is not better by then I have to cancel, and reschedule. This is the last of the most important doses. Of course my body would do this, it hates me ( Read more... ) -
good news
I'm weaning off prednisone! I weigh more now, than I ever have, so I am really looking forward to my last dose. I just hope that I won't have a lupus or RA flare when I do! I am also allowed to start a regimen of light exercise. I had been in such a constant RA flare that I was only allowed to stretch, so I hope I can drop 20 pounds ( Read more... ) -
another one for the feds.
I applied for help from the state, mostly I just want medicaid, but it seems unlikely that I will be receiving it, which ticks me off quite bad. How many children should I have, or how bad off should I be before they consider my application for medical assistance, is SLE and RA not enough, even when I'm on such serious meds? I've been in withdrawal ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
my wolf part deux.
Jennifer Vera
i chained you to my fence
and starved you
half dead mammal
you howled
and i came out
to feed you
once
and
you trampled
me
untied
yourself
you hid
under the tree
and as
walked
more near
this time
you
lunged
almost took
half of my
life. -
(Untitled)
i feel like i am dying. i keep thinking i have to keep going for something, but i don't know what. i hate this. everytime, i think i am stronger than my disease, it kicks my ass, and reminds me that i have no control. i'm over feeling like shit, being in pain, pretending that it is ok, when it's not. i haven'e been able to sleep in two days, and i ( Read more... ) -
you would never even think about these things unless you have lupus.
Questions such as, "Should I really go to the ER, for this cold, that I know is developing into a nasty upper respiratory infection ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
My disability hearing is on Wednesday, and that is way too soon. I didn't get a chance to get Dr. Barnes to write the letter on my behalf, mostly due to feeling like a mac truck hit me, but also it is tax time, and Brian is having a hard time doing his books alone, so I have been helping him ( Read more... ) -
blah.
i slept until 2 today, I was having the most vivid dreams ever, and boy where they crazy. My friend B. was this guy G, but I knew he was B.< but her was visiting me, and met my fam. for the first time, and he got freaked out by them, and then my grandparents tried to steal his car, which was this sweet classic Malibu.Talk about freaky! I think this ( Read more... )