-
The end of my new life...
If D saw me now he would laugh in my face and say, "I told you so." I hate thinking like this, but it's so true. I thought that leaving him would be one of the best things ever. Right now I am starting to question whether that is true or not.
Yes, I am away from him and that is great. The daily fights are gone and I am no longer getting verbally ( Read more... ) -
Weakness
Life is never as easy as one would hope. I always knew it was going to be tough from the beginning, but sometimes I get a hope built up inside me that things will change. I don't know why I let myself do that.
Every time I think I am getting everything on track it all goes to hell. I love those amazing days when things feel so right and so good.
( Read more... ) -
More endless thoughts...
Living on my own has its perks and its downfalls. I love that I am out of such a restricting relationship, but the road to recovery and change is so very hard. I am slowly adjusting, but this whole issue of having way too much time is starting to really get to me. It means that my mind races constantly and I think way too much ( Read more... ) -
A Strong Bitch or a Weak Motherfucker?
I sit here thinking...feeling pensive even when I wish I could just let my mind slow down and stop racing. I want to move forward and even though I took a huge step back in January by leaving my boyfriend D I still feel stuck. My heart feels torn as does my mind. I do not know what to do with myself ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I hate that feeling when you feel torn between two things. That's how I feel right now. I woke up today to hear from my friend B that things weren't going so well. In other words the break up that was looming over his head was hitting full force. I don't know the details of what went down and I didn't want to pry. Well, I did want to, but I ( Read more... ) -
Broken and Beaten
I am broken and beaten
My body and soul black and blue
I am defiled and defeated
My heart and soul breaking inside
I am broken and beaten
My life goes on at an agonizing pace
I am lost and lonely
My heart aches and tears fall
To be continued... -
(Untitled)
I sit here lost in thought again. Wondering if everything I have been considering doing is the right thing to do. Spending my well five-ish days away from home has made me think so much. I hadn't had that much fun in two days as I did on Friday and Saturday that I was gone in a long time ( Read more... ) -
Lift Me Up
My friend Benny recently posted this video on Facebook. It has been making me think. I keep going back to it and playing it over and over again. I keep asking myself if I can be the person in the song. I can relate to it so much right now, but am terrified that I cannot be lifted up. I need some help, but I don't know where to go ( Read more... ) -
Confusion...
I know this is dead. I haven't posted on here in a million years and I don't think any of my old friends still use their accounts either, but I need a place to think and get my thoughts out in an unbiased place. Any time I talk to people I feel like they aren't just trying to help me, but also help themselves ( Read more... )