Finding Peace When You've Been Looking Too Hard
Title: Finding Peace 3/5
Pairing: J2
Rating: Headed toward NC-17
Warnings: Me and my comma abuse, language, and also the sex.
Disclaimer: I've set traps, but have yet to capture the boys. So, no, I don't own them.
Summary: Jensen fled from his life in the city in search of peace. He thought buying a tiny farm and small town life would be the answer, but he finds out it isn't as simple as all that. Jared is a gruff, taciturn veterinarian who just wants his dog to stay in his yard. Sadie likes Jensen too well to stay put. Friction occurs.
Part two here:
Jensen stood back, eyeing the grill skeptically. He'd bought it on a whim, and he'd lugged it home unsure of what he was going to do with it. He'd managed to get everything connected, working, and ready, but that was where the plan had come to a stop. He didn't have any burgers or steaks to grill, nor did he have any clue how cook them, anyway. He was pretty sure it involved beer, though.
He was standing on the small back deck, which was actually just ten feet of cement under an aluminum awning, but it served it's purpose. Harley was sprawled in the grass, his eyes closed in bliss as he soaked in the morning sun. Jensen didn't blame him. It was beautiful and balmy out, and Jensen was trying to get all his yard work done before the July sun turned brutal.
They both raised their heads at the small sound. It was coming from behind a row of carefully cultivated pea plants, and it was pitiful. Jensen motioned for Harley to stay still, and moved carefully around the edges of his small, flourishing garden. Jensen felt a touch of pride in the little patch he'd worked so hard on. Everthing was coming up just the way the internet said they should, and looked just like the seed packets.
Jensen stepped across a line of frothy carrot tops, and knelt down in the dirt. A small cat was curled up on the ground, and Jensen frowned as she struggled to get away from him. Her back legs were matted and she tried frantically to move them. Sighing at the blood and dirt that matted her fur, Jensen carefully grabbed the hissing creature, and brought her back to the house.
She snarled as Jensen laid her in the kitchen sink, and Jensen cursed softly as she managed to scratch his left hand. Harley whined at the door, but Jensen ignored it as he fought with the little feline; wrapping her in a tea towel. He cursed again as he realized that he was going to have to head back into town and visit the small animal clinic on the edge of town.
Jensen toted the small cat out to the garage and carefully placed her on the passenger seat of his truck. The impala gleamed in the second stall, and Jensen gave it a loving smile. He left the small cat briefly so he could lock Harley up in his shiny new pen, and then eased the truck onto the gravel driveway. He drove carefully, afraid to jostle the hurting animal, and made the trip to the vet's office.
Jensen wasn't thrilled at encountering Jared again, but he hadn't seen Sadie in over a month, and he hoped he could at least ask about the sweet tempered escape artist. Sandy was behind the front desk when Jensen came in, and her smiling face was reassuring. Jensen offered the cocooned animal to her, and she took it gingerly, her eyebrows raised in question.
"I found her in my garden. I mean, I think it's a her. She's hurt." Jensen scowled at the bleary eyes that blinked at him from the white nest he'd created. Sandy immediate stood up, her face going business serious. "Jared," she called over her shoulder, and Jensen winced. Jared appeared out of the side door and came to stand beside Jensen.
Jensen smiled nervously, silently wishing he could just abandon the cat and leave. Jared studied him for a moment, his expression unreadable, and turned to look at the animal Sandy was cradling. He took it with a soft crooning noise, his gigantic hands dwarfing the tiny bundle.
Jensen blinked in surprise as Jared hummed softly to her, his fingers carefully stroking her face. "It's ok, little one," he murmured, and was gone through the door he'd appeared from without another look at Jensen. Shrugging, Jensen said goodbye to Sandy, and he was on his way. He was conflicted. Jared's compassion for the hurt kitten was in direct opposition to his attitude toward Jensen.
For a brief moment, Jensen considered turning around to ask Sandy what his deal was, but decided that taking part in small town gossip was a dangerous road to take. He idly wished he'd been able to ask about Sadie, but when he pulled into his driveway, he had to laugh out loud.
Sadie was settled in her usual spot on the front porch, her ears perking up as he walked over to her. They sat quietly for awhile, Sadie's head in his lap. Jensen eventually got up long enough to let Harley out, and they retired inside to escape the noonday sun.
Man and beast were dozing in Jensen's small living room when the sound of a truck's engine cut through the quiet house. Jensen smiled a little perversely, and rubbed at Sadies's ears before going to the door. He'd decided that he and Jared needed to have a talk, and he wasn't above holding Sadie hostage.
Jensen carefully shut the door behind him, and made his way over to where Jared was letting down the gate to his truckbed. Jensen stood calmly until Jared turned to meet his gaze. "Hi, Jared," he said in his best business voice. Sometimes being a cutthroat business man with a financial body count came in handy.
Jared looked momentarily startled, but nodded his head in greeting. He looked around for Sadie, and not finding her, looked back to Jensen. "She's inside," Jensen stated, and moved a little closer. "She seems to like it here, and I think we should make an...arrangement." Jared's eyebrows went up, and for a moment Jensen thought he saw amusement in the hazel eyes that studied him.
"Can I get my dog, please?" Jared's voice was calm and slightly cold, but his shoulders were loose. Jensen smiled slightly to himself. Body language was a handy thing to study, and Jensen decided to plunge ahead. He nodded slightly toward the house.
"i bought beer, if you want," he offered and headed back to the house. His stomach clenched slightly until he heard the screendoor slam shut behind Jared. Sadie hadn't moved from her place in front of Jensen's faded thrift store chairs, and she offered Jared a small woof before laying her head back down.
Jared stood in the small entryway, his eyes touching briefly on the small living room, and then focused back on Jensen. "Beer, huh?" was all he said, but he took the offered bottle and followed Jensen into the kitchen.
The two men sat across from each other silently for a few moments, sipping their beers, and Jensen tried to form the words he'd been debating on all afternoon. He set his bottle down on the worn table and cleared his throat. "I don't really know why Sadie likes it here so much, but I like having her here. I figured that maybe we could make an agreement."
Jared frowned in confusion. "What do you have in mind?"
"I thought she could come here during the day, and hang out with me and Harley."
"You want to babysit my dog?"
"Pretty much."
"Why?"
Jensen grinned. "I like her, and she was my first visitor when I moved here; besides, Harley likes her, too."
Jared almost smiled. "That's cuz Harley used to stay with us when he came to the shelter. He's so big that it was uncomfortable for him in the pens at the clinic. I would just bring 'im in during the day, in case someone was looking to adopt."
"Oh, I guess that explains it. Hey, how's the cat doing?"
Jared sighed. "Didn't make it. Lost too much blood. Had to throw away your towel, too. Sorry." Jared traced the ring that his beer bottle left on the table; his finger sliding through the wetness. Much against his will, Jensen felt his body stir a little with desire, but the news about the cat made him reach out to touch the other man's hand.
"Jared, I'm sorry about the kitten. I can tell how much you love animals," Jensen kept his voice low, surprised when Jared didn't jerk his hand away from his touch. Instead, he smiled sadly as he looked at their hands. "You think I'm a dick, huh?"
Jensen grinned. "You make it hard not to." Jared laughed briefly and met Jensen's eyes. "I own the horse farm down the road, you know. I'm sure you pass it when you go into town." Jensen nodded, keeping silent. "Yeah, well, Sadie's there if you want to come visit her. I can always come get her when I get off work."
Jared rose quickly, and Jensen felt sudden panic. For reasons he didn't really understand, Jensen didn't want the other man to leave. "Hey! I bought a grill," he said lamely. Jared stared at him, his face back to it's usual scowl. "I mean, maybe you could... we could. I don't know much about grilling, but maybe this weekend?"
Jensen was as surprised as Jared by the invitation, and they stood staring at each other. Finally, Jared snorted and motioned for Sadie to follow him. He paused at the front door, looking over his shoulder at Jensen, framed in the kitchen doorway with Harley sitting calmly beside him.
"Saturday, then? I'll bring the steaks," was all he said as man and dog left.
"It's a date," Jensen replied to the closing door. He listened to Jared's truck start up before he wandered back into the kitchen.
What the hell had just happened?
****
Jensen spent most of Friday cleaning. He'd never really been accountable for the things he owned before, and it was a rather liberating feeling. He'd been raised to believe that value came from the good opinions of others, the money he made, and the labels that were sewn into his clothes.
Being shallow was exhausting, and Jensen had never even realized how much he was missing until just a few short months ago. He slept the night through, stopped taking Tums like candy, and was learning how to enjoy himself. He was in his own version of heaven, and he loved it more than he'd thought possible.
He dusted his scarred bookshelves and polished the wooden cabinets in the kitchen. Harley helped as best he could by shedding all over Jensen's new living room rug, and barely noticed when Jensen nudged him out of the way with the vacuum.
He spent an hour in the small groccery, debating the merits of deli coleslaw or potato salad. He finally muttered fuck it and got both. He stocked up on beer, charcoal, and even managed to remember steak sauce. He felt slighty silly by how happy he was, but it didn't deter him at all.
He didn't even know why he was so drawn to the jackass anyway. What if he wasn't gay? Jensen wasn't very good at using gaydar, and Jared hadn't given him much indication that he was even interested in Jensen as a person, much less something more.
Jensen spent a long time wondering when he'd become interested in Jared as more than Sadie's owner. He wasn't one to let emotion control him. He'd learned long ago how to turn off his feeling while he dismantled other people's companys. Pink slips for three hundred people? He hadn't given it a thought, but one grouchy veteranarian...
He had come here to find peace. He was trying so hard to find contentment, to find out what it meant to be happy. He hadn't found it yet, but he was certain he was on the right path.
Somehow, though, he knew that he was missing a huge piece, and he was terrified that he was beginning to realize what the piece was.
Part four here:
Comments are often found on the road to enlightenment...
That might be a slightly....lie.