At five years old you don't know fear. You can't know fear until you've heard the terror in your father's drunken voice and seen the rage in his bloodshot eyes. I curled up under the blankets and prayed he wouldn't find me nestled deep down in my haven. I put the pillow over my head, trying to ignore my mother's shrieking screams and the ( Read more... )

I don't know how I feel anymore, rather how much I feel. I am so content with my life its driving me insane. All the way home, I kept playing all those silly, sad songs - I wanted to see if I could cry. I even played his song. I didn't shed a tear - not a fucking one. I didn't even care that he didn't come to the concert with me after he said ( Read more... )

Opinions are like armpits, everyone has them, and most of them stink. -Unknown

The days are flying by like the pages of this novel. Even though I hate this place - always have, always will (maybe), I can't put into words how much I will miss it when I am gone for good. It won't be the hole my brother and I put in the wall, or the ditch I rolled my first vehicle in that keep my coming back, but merely the people that have ( Read more... )

I had completly forgot what happiness was. For the past few months I thought I was happy. I mean, don't get my wrong I was happy, just not this kind of happy. It's funny how you think you are feeling something and then when you really feel it, you deny ever feeling like it before. Maybe I am completely oblivious to everything that sucks right ( Read more... )

Am I ready to deal with this emotional turmoil all over again? I want to, but I only want to if I know I won’t get hurt again. I don’t want to fall crazy head over heels for him if he’ll put my heart through the cheese grater one last time. I know it really doesn't matter how much I know he will hurt me again, because I will inevitbly do it ( Read more... )

Everything has been so dull lately. Nothing is wrong, but its so absolutely boring. My life is becoming a routine - go to school, go to work, do your homework, go to bed, blah, blah, blah. My weekends are nothing more then meandering escapades to pass the time. Two more months and I'll leave the only place I have ever really known. I should ( Read more... )

Some day you will be walking - alone - down the empty streets watching the people pass. Cars will flutter by and buildings will stand still. You will stop to look through the store window. The curly haired saleswoman peering through the clear glass will pierce your memory like daggers and you will remember how you shattered my heart into peices ( Read more... )

I realize one day he will meet someone else. She'll be perfect and beautiful - everything I want to be. I will hate it; even if she is wonderful, I will despise her living existance. I want to be this girl.

.nothing happens in the end.

I want to tell him everything I have to say right now. I am being irrational at the moment which means I'd wake up in the morning inevitbaly regretting everything I told him if I did... maybe I am just sick of waiting. I want to tell him I waited six months for him to come home - I don't know why I did, I just did. I want him to know that he ( Read more... )