Hello hello testing testing Andi says that Dora says that there's some kind of virus in the computer so I said I'd check and the virus scanner hasn't found anything. Then she says it's only on the Live Journals and I say a bloody virus doesn't work like that and she says how do you know? So I say Andi my girl I love you top to toe but I run ( Read more... )

*ring ring ring*

Nymphadora? Are you home? Please tell me you're all right, darling!

After a lifetime of uncomfortable family dinners, I must say that yesterday evening was the utter pinnacle. A certain amount of awkwardness was only to be expected; one simply does not sit dear cousin Sirius across a table from Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy without anticipating broken furniture, bloodshed and any number of ingenious hexes ( Read more... )

Usually I prefer to work in metals, but I have decided that my next piece should be of stone. My darling daughter sent me a photograph of my grandchildren curled up in sleep together, and I was immediately reminded of the yin/yang. I shall render them in marble, black with white veins and white with black. Of course, although my grandchildren ( Read more... )

Hallo? Hallo? Hell. Well, this is Dad. I'm calling to say thanks for the photos you sent of the babies. They're on the mantel. Kitty really does have your mum's eyes, doesn't she? ...er... at least she did on the day you took the photo. That is Kitty, isn't it? Have they settled on which one has the penis yet? Not that I mind! It's just ( Read more... )

Remus, darling, are you there? It's Andi, I'm at Dora and Marik's. Do you have a moment?

Dora? Dora are you there or are you at the church already? Is this some kind of a joke?

I don't care if it is your wedding day, I am not wearing a bloody dress!

They're dress robes, darling. I told you that.

Bloody hell it's a dress and I'm not wearing it!

Teddy --Now love, I'll wear my Sunday suit, and that's that. Dora, if this is Marik ( Read more... )

Finally.

Thank God.

Hello? Hello! Pick up the sodding phone you crazy Russian bastard!

*pause*

Where's my daughter? What have you done with Dora! I got a phone call from St. Bart's -- they said she was admitted and then went missing! If she's in trouble I'll --

Teddy darling, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation -- Reasonable my arse! She went ( Read more... )

Remus, dear, are you there? Your office door is locked and I need to speak to you about the proposed acquisitions for the new year.