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Life as of now
You know, I originally titled this LJ as a reference to my past relationship with my ex fiance Chris. We started dating on either February or March 24 of 2006 and over about a year, I lived a tragic affair and it did not end in happiness, just sadness and regret and the understanding that you can try your best and still fail. It took me almost four ( Read more... ) -
So....it's time to take my life back
I was in the restroom a moment ago and I looked in the mirror. OMG. When did I at that second person? I AM HUGE! When did this happen? WTF?! HELP ( Read more... ) -
Since you'll never see it anyway...
Lookin' at your picture from when we first met ( Read more... ) -
How broken do you have to be before the damage is too much to fix?
I seemed so happy lately to everyone. Too bad happy isnt the same as numb, which is the real state I'm in. My mom hates her life and takes it out on me. She snapped tonight. Smashed her senior picture. I'll clean it up soon. I make the simplest mistakes and I am treated like a killer. The man I love does not want to be with me because he thinks I'm ( Read more... ) -
UUUUUURRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!
I want to fucking scream! AND NO ONE FUCKING CARES! -
Thankful
I am truly thankful ( Read more... ) -
i feel clammy and sick....
chris just called and told me he's going in the marine corps. got off the phone about 15 or so minutes, i stopped crying 2 seconds ago....and theyre threatening to come back....I just pray God keeps him safe....I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him...I'd never know though, unless he just stopped signing onto myspace or something.... ( Read more... ) -
its bad enough...
that i miss my ex christopher....but did i have to start missing my ex TJ again tonight? theres a deep deep love there, unlike the other types of love ive felt...its just different....i wonder, if they ever break up, maybe I could get my chance again?? -
a little scared right now.....
i took a pregnancy test....negative....period has been missing for almost 8-10 days....frequent urination,sharp pain where the ovaries are....warm feeling.....nausea....bloating.......possible causes: pregnancy test was a false negative (dont see how), a cyst on my ovaries, or ovarian cancer....um....im this close to tears right now, im so fucking ( Read more... ) -
urg.......mother fuckin hell!
I cant sleep, Jon's on, but not talking...*sigh*.... Damn Cliffhanger...
Bottom line:Because of my stupid fucking self and Chris's polyamorisim.... that caused our breakup, I am now alone, feel like shit for breaking a decent guys heart, and will probably not be over Chris for months.....fucking hell....I hate my life sometimes....