I'm starting to think this next section of my life is looking like a bad run of years. I can feel that I'm probably going to be lonely for the next five years. Just when I feel as if I can least cope with it ( Read more... )

You're not going to contact me are you ( Read more... )

Oh I'm so sick of you and your fucking ignorance.

I'm don't know anymore.

I can't stop thinking about you. Even worse, I can't stop talking about you. I don't know what's going on in my head. I can't understand. How is it that I only ever seem to want people who don't want me back? I'm panicking. I sit there and I think about what I did wrong, what put you off me. I go over and over all the few times i spent with you in ( Read more... )

You have no idea how much you destroyed me. I keep dithering about whether to send you a birthday card, and to be honest, it's bringing me down. I'm fighting so hard to keep my mood up; to keep my mood constant, but I still get panic attacks when i think I might see you; I get worried that if i text my friends they'll be out with you. and I can't ( Read more... )

I need to get things right for me ( Read more... )

The summer's hit. It feels like four years ago. I finished my diary today. finished the last diary that held you in it. i see it as moving away from the past. Closing the cover. that's what I'm trying to do on how i felt. people say you can't just shut something out, you have to get over it. But i'm shutting it out because if I don't it'll never ( Read more... )

I had the most amazing night on Tuesday. All these people turing up to wish me a Happy Birthday. I felt, finally, that I didn't need to judge myself by you anymore. I am just me, and I am a wonderful person. I think it finally dawned on me just how many good friends I've made over the past 3 years and how I will continute to make new friends, and ( Read more... )

I wish I could cut my brain out. All these feelings, all this pain goes round and round and round every time i'm on my own. I Can't get away from these thoughts, these worries. It's like someone is shouting at me all the time, all the things that have hurt me and how it must be because I'm this terrible person. If i could take it away, I would. I'm ( Read more... )