my dad took a job in Steamboat, Colorado
he's MOVING to Steamboat in January

i will NEVER escape this
ever

i wish i could free myself from this

it's been 9 months of complete and utter emptiness
and it's only getting worse

a lot of the time i wonder if it will ever stop
and i usually come to the conclusion that i'd have to die to not feel it anymore

i think i just give up
everything that was ours has been destroyed in one way or another

every single good thing
i just want to scream

over the past few days i've been moving into my new apartment, and i FINALLY moved the last of my stuff over this evening. it's so nice to be free of the reign of travis, and all the food eating, and using of my things without asking. i'm living with three girls now, so the place is clean, and they're all really fun. we're getting a christmas tree ( Read more... )

i am the biggest idiot i've ever met

i cant wait to go home
5 weeks and 4 more days of waiting
its excruciating

i knew when i decided to move that i was moving, in part, to get away from something ( Read more... )

( list with bold bit thingys )

it's not like somewhere in the back of my mind i won't always wait and hope that there could be a second beginning for us, but for now i think i'm making progress. i can go to sleep at night happy, and i can make it through the day without breaking down. now that i think about the extent of the damage i'm really surprised i was able to pretend ( Read more... )

i wish i had an easier time giving people the cold shoulder
or just being able to tell people how i feel, honestly