Anniversary

[auraesque]

Five years ago today, I was raped.

Consider this your trigger warning.

It wasn't gray rape. It wasn't date rape. It wasn't “rape rape.” It was just rape.

The details aren't really important. You're just going to have to take my word for it.

But here are some things that happened as a result of it.

Comments

[mistressemi]

You are such a strong woman, and I am so glad that you had the support from the school, police, and PP. I'm sorry your friends did that to you, but now you know they weren't worth your time. You deserve the best. You helped me a lot when I was sexually assaulted and I am forever grateful for that.

[trileaderroses]

You're right that it's uncomfortable to talk about and the proof is that I'm not sure what to say in a comment. But I do feel the need to say that the "you" you are today is awesome and I love you! :)

[sunflower_sky]

Big hugs your way. I am so glad to hear you got the support you needed. Those 80% of friends were probably not ones worth keeping. Here's to many years ahead of healing and discovering how strong and valuable you truly are.

HBC actually always made my PMS/PMDD worse. (I was never diagnosed, but I have always suffered from extremely severe mood swings before and in the first day or so of my period.) Or to be accurate, it just gave me severe mood swings all month instead of in the week or so before my period. :-/ Just before this pregnancy I tried calcium supplements, but I don't know if they helped or if it was just that I was pregnant instead of PMSed... (Not that early pregnancy is exactly a stable hormonal state :P)

~D

[starlingthefool]

I hope this doesn't sound callous, but this was really interesting to read. I have known rape survivors -- I think pretty much everyone save a few select hermits know rape survivors -- but have never heard one speak of their experience like this. For the fact that it happens so often, our society is sadly closed-mouthed about it. I feel like I should be taking notes on how to be supportive to other survivors. Thanks for sharing this.

[auraesque]

Not callous. It's why I wrote it.

[anonymous]

I'm glad you posted this, and that I found it. I was also raped 5 years ago, oddly enough, under extremely similar circumstances. I've been going through the same things, and I've been "relearning" how to live and socially function ever since. I lost a great deal of friends as a result, and a great deal more from my initial plan of drinking to cope (Don't ever do this). This year, I was able to force myself to get help. I've been working through my PTSD and depression and trying to cope. Today, I was going through a lot emotionally before reading this and I just wanted to say thank you. From the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul. It's nice to know that there are other women powering through this.

[auraesque]

You're welcome. Thank you for your comment.