TSA's New Security Fondle

[autonomic_pilot]

This is a copy of a post I just put on one of my piloty forums.  They rather liked it and I thought you all might too.  I put a claimer on it just so that the fuddie duddies who lurk in the back waiting with Shock! and Awe! would get shot down for bitching if it's too racy.  No, I don't this is racy... but we're dealing with stuck up religious

Comments

[evillinn]

2 1/2 hour layover? You totally should have gone back for seconds.

[daystars]

Augh! It's even worse than I had read. I am not looking forward to this every time we fly- Damn your fancy metal parts! Wait, no, those are fine. It's the TSA that seems to be the problem here...

With that said, I stand by my previous statement- I will continue to opt for the "enhanced patdown", and not in private, either. I want other people to see it. I want them to see it happen, and think about how ridiculous it is. Our choices are now either a virtual strip-search, or a grope... both are unacceptable.

Katie and I talked about this a bit last night- what's to stop people from simply smuggling things in their other bodily cavities? Is the TSA going to start searching there too?

[daystars]

Oh, and these are what I was telling you about:

http://www.flyingpasties.com/

[la_roja]

I thought the same thing about doing the pat down in public when I read this. I think that kind of public awareness is important.

[la_roja]

I feel compelled to point out that I am not upset about this though, at least not about the new nekid scanners and I really don't understand why folks are as outraged about it as they are. I'm on the fence about the new pat-down system.

[bork]

Thank you for the writeup. I know that I'll prefer the X-ray machine to the patdown, but I'm wondering what my underwire bra will show up like.

Also, I'm wondering what will happen if I draw smilie faces on my breasts with a black Sharpie. Will these show up on the X-ray?

[cirocco]

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2010/10/for-the-first-time-the-tsa-meets-resistance/65390/

The money quote:

"We have to search up your thighs and between your legs until we meet resistance," he explained.

"Resistance?" I asked.

"Your testicles," he explained.

'That's funny," I said, "because 'The Resistance' is the actual name I've given to my testicles."

He answered, "Like 'The Situation,' that guy from 'Jersey Shore?'"

Yes, exactly, I said. (I used to call my testicles "The Insurgency," but those assholes in Iraq ruined the term.)

[assassinpandora]

The obvious thing to do here is act like you really really enjoy it.

[evillinn]

Agreed. I immediately wondered what they'd do if you just settled in for the experience with a smile and rather than answering "okay" to their scripted explanations you said, "ooh! excellent!" and leaned over for them a little.

As tongue in cheek as this sounds, I'm honestly curious how they'd handle it. Obviously they will have male searchers for male travelers, and female for female since official systems simply don't know what to do about sexuality. what would they do if someone conspicuously enjoyed this process?