i browse The New York Times' Style section on Sundays. i read what's new in fashion, what the latest official girl dating/sex/career/fitness/self-confidence mentality is, and i even read about the weddings.

the rest of the week i read The Washington Post because i'm too busy for anything but the down and dirty on current events.

when i was much younger i had a much treasured collection of plastic baubles. pastel green squirrels with pastel blue hair and pink lips. palm-sized hearts in red, hot pink, hot orange, and hot yellow. character figurines from KinderSurprises. ritually, i would close the drain, fill the sink, and throw them all in. i loved the way they looked under ( Read more... )

i've learned that it will always be something. there will always be something that's not exact, that stands to be perfected. and when that previous something is perfected, then there will be something else. not just for myself, but for others as well. maybe it's human to always want more, to always imagine better. even if i could perfect all the ( Read more... )

the thing is that i'm a pacifier and i'm the one that people have said is good at placating others when they're upset or frustrated. i'm understanding but i can also manage to snap people back into reality and the greater scheme of things. and i also can never hold a firm opinion on anything because i always see both sides and can always argue it ( Read more... )

i've been both on hyper-drive and in a funk these last few weeks, i don't even understand myself. i've had so much work due and to do, and i've been doing it all at my most superior quality. things i put so much effort and hard work into that i should really proud of. but it's just something that's nice to know, like when you hear that a friend of ( Read more... )

quoting Greek Tragedy,

I have a hood on. There’s no Eminem song in the background; it’s just me and the Lineman. I’ve realized there’s a reality to my life that no one really sees. It’s the me that leaves the date and goes home alone in her own head to her own dog and her own comforts. I have a smell, and gestures, and one eye closes more ( Read more... )

one of the things i hate most about myself is how much time i spend negotiating with myself on articulating my feelings or opinions to another person. i spend much too much time considering vantage points and propitious situations. it's because in the back of my head i know that things will be so much more comfortable if i keep my mouth and soul ( Read more... )

i used to feel that "didn't want to leave you with the wrong impression" was a key phrase in my life. annoyingly so. i hated the idea that someone would leave or be in my life with the wrong impression of my motives or attitude. i needed to have the last word and make my intentions known, even when it was far too late. i didn't want you to think i ( Read more... )

i was thinking about in how Closer, when Alice asks Dan what makes Anna sexier and more desirable than her, Dan says it's because Anna doesn't need Dan the way Alice does. i wonder if it can ever be sexy to know that someone needs you, and if in turn, it can ever feel sexy to need another person. but mostly, i wonder how it happens that a person ( Read more... )

i've been ruminating and ruminating my recent realization that my life realistically will not take the exact course that i want for it. and even if by some chance it comes close, it will no doubt be at the cost of more pain and hard work than i can currently imagine for it. that's just the way life is. nobody dreams about and plans for his life ( Read more... )