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Isn't it funny...
I always come back here. Like a hidden mistress, or an photograph you just have to look at every few months. A reminder. An artifact ( Read more... ) -
AGAIN
I actually did a handwritten journal earlier today as well, but it just seems like a "get all the things out" kind of day.
My lamentation in THAT journal is that I don't seem to be experiencing growth. I'm doing the same things and somehow expecting a different me to emerge, with some kind of wisdom or change in behavior. So far... no bueno. Today ( Read more... ) -
Same. old. shit.
I'm feeling burnt out. I'm procrastinating on a big work thing. I'm feeling tired. I have too much on my plate. I'm taking care of other people. I'm doing a shite job of taking care of myself. He thinks it should be easier for me to prioritize me. It continues to not be. I fantasize about a week to myself somewhere else, without anyone or anything ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
got into it yesterday with the man about him trying to make me happy. how that turned into an argument is ridiculous, but there we both were. he just wants me to be happy. i want that too, but find that i resist doing the things that might actually help me with that?
we spent some time a few days before trying to establish why it is so hard for me ( Read more... ) -
thankful for the space
sometimes i just need a ranting space. somewhere that i can just let go, acknowledge that i'm struggling, and then put it in the box of LJ and move on doing what needs to be done.
right now i'm feeling tapped out. i value going into the office because i can solely focus on work there, but i'm also feeling kind of ... burnt out on work. not sure why ( Read more... ) -
Thankful Thursday
Short and sweet today.
- Made it through the work review cycle and received positive notes from peers, including advice to work on the thing I already know I need to work on.
- Kid is back after being gone for two-plus weeks. Happy to hug on them again.
- I'm starting to actually love both dogs. It's taken me a while to warm up to the new one but he' ( Read more... )
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Thankful Thursday
A long time ago in LJ land, there used to be a push for Thankful Thursday. Perhaps it's still going on... I don't spend much time in the wilds anymore.
I want to reinstate this for myself out of a desire to spend some focused time on being grateful. I thought about posting this on the book of face, but I also don't want to have toxic positivity be ( Read more... ) -
Overshare
Trying to figure out what to write, how to talk, what is actually broken, what is me, what is wrong, what is right, and what to fix.
Work is work. It's hard. I feel stressed. I do not believe them when they say I'm good enough. I'm waiting to fail in some fabulously absurd way. I am still the go-to person. I'm training others. I don't have time. I ( Read more... ) -
Yup, still
It's escalated and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but that tunnel stretches a good month at least.
To be clear, this is work stuff. Relationship is fine, mom'ing is fine, friends are fine, house is fine, money is fine.
Work is sucking the life out of me. I'm not sure why. I mean, I can identify the things that are challenging and no one ( Read more... ) -
Screaming into the void
This is the void.
EVERYONE CAN GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.
End rant.
I hate today. I've hated today for at least three days. There are bright spots but in general - I need to not be doing this right now. Watched a work sponsored thing acknowledging that 'languishing' is a thing we are all experiencing 15 months into the pandemic.
Cool. Glad you acknowledge ( Read more... )