For a group designed for gay men, I would have thought that this was a recurring theme, but thankfully it isn't, so I won't feel like I'm spamming
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My parents knew I was gay before I did. When I came out, they were like, "Yeah, I know." I think they were just happy that I was finally comfortable enough to tell them.
My mom is uncomfortable with PDA in general. I don't think she'd treat me any differently if I were bringing a girl home to her instead of a boy, but she still gets squimish about sideways cuddling or kisses that are more than a small kiss on the lips.
I didn't cry. I had this whole elaborate scheme to run away from home if she didn't accept me. How silly I must have seemed to the fly on the wall.
Actually, one of my friends is praying that she has at least one gay son. She loves the gays with all her heart, but it breaks mine that she's wishing a difficult lifestyle on her future children.
I'm glad it went well for you. I actually expected that I'd one day just tell both of my parents, and that they would also claim that they knew. My mom always has, and the only thing that could keep my father from seeing it is the fact that he doesn't actually want to, but the signs become pretty apparent, even if you don't fit the physical stereotypes
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Congrats on the coming out. It's a huge step and I'm happy to hear it went well.
My coming out was very similar. Very liberal family, very liberal college, very liberal friends and all that. My family was the hardest to come out to, as I think is the case for everyone, and after I told everyone I realized that all my doubts and fears were all in my head.
My mom asked me if I was happy, I said yes, and she said "that's all I care about."
I have three older sisters. The first punched me on the arm and told me I should have said something sooner so we could have spent more time talking about guys, the next called her husband immediately after and said "You owe me $50, and the last who was planning her wedding at the time said "oh this is great! You can totally bring a guy to the wedding!"
Thank you! It really is a huge step, and I found myself having these little chest attacks that I get when something big hits me, and I thought, "Holy crap, I have to remember today for the rest of my life! This is big!"
It all seems so funny, in retrospect, when you think about all the thoughts you've had about how your family would shun you and everything would be demolished, but then you tell them, and it can be the easiest thing in the world. You kind of think, "Well, that's X years of unnecessary insecurities. Wow."
You and your mom obviously have a good relationship, and I'm glad she actually loves her son for being himself, and being happy.
Haha, I lol'd at your sister's reaction! That's gold.
i was immediately kicked out of my house by my mother. my dad didn't really care but my mother would not talk to me for about 2 years.
she's still not completely comfortable with it but we've managed to build a pretty good relationship and she'll even ask about a guy if i'm dating someone at the time.
it was very hard. it took me so long just to realize that it was her problem and not mine...lots of wasted time blaming myself. lots of ignorant comments about getting a disease if she hugged me and blah blah blah. i think pressure from the rest of the family (who are all very accepting) got her to get over whatever her big hang-up with homosexuality was and we have slowly been building a relationship since then. she's the one who started making an effort so forgiving her wasn't as hard as i thought.
That's such a shame to hear, really. Oh, the perks of being a gay male...
I'm glad you've been able to build some sort of somewhat-stable relationship with her again. I'm glad that your father didn't react similarly, and surprised too. It's rare for the mother to be more close-minded about it than the father, from what I observe, but it happens.
I hope that one day your mother will realize that you're still the same person.
i spent a year abroad and when i returned back, i told my mom. she said she had suspected and hoped i werent. i asked her if she wanted to know more, she said she didnt want to talk about it
then one year passed, she visited me and my bf and stayed with us. since then she s cool.
but i was 22 and lived abroad since i was 21. anyway i m pretty glad she s ok with it. even asks now how is my love life.
i m from Ukraine btw. not most of gay accepting countries. my brother is cool too.
in life i dont jump to telling people if its not relevant to a conversation, but if it is i m relaxed about it.
about hiding - i just meant that i dont introduce myself as Yev, the gay. but if we discuss weekend or relationships, then i ll mention something gay related
i never had to hide it for safety - but thats maybe i m not most obvious gay person. but i am still sometimes uneasy about PDA in public places other than gayborhood
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My mom is uncomfortable with PDA in general. I don't think she'd treat me any differently if I were bringing a girl home to her instead of a boy, but she still gets squimish about sideways cuddling or kisses that are more than a small kiss on the lips.
I didn't cry. I had this whole elaborate scheme to run away from home if she didn't accept me. How silly I must have seemed to the fly on the wall.
Actually, one of my friends is praying that she has at least one gay son. She loves the gays with all her heart, but it breaks mine that she's wishing a difficult lifestyle on her future children.
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My coming out was very similar. Very liberal family, very liberal college, very liberal friends and all that. My family was the hardest to come out to, as I think is the case for everyone, and after I told everyone I realized that all my doubts and fears were all in my head.
My mom asked me if I was happy, I said yes, and she said "that's all I care about."
I have three older sisters. The first punched me on the arm and told me I should have said something sooner so we could have spent more time talking about guys, the next called her husband immediately after and said "You owe me $50, and the last who was planning her wedding at the time said "oh this is great! You can totally bring a guy to the wedding!"
Reply
It all seems so funny, in retrospect, when you think about all the thoughts you've had about how your family would shun you and everything would be demolished, but then you tell them, and it can be the easiest thing in the world. You kind of think, "Well, that's X years of unnecessary insecurities. Wow."
You and your mom obviously have a good relationship, and I'm glad she actually loves her son for being himself, and being happy.
Haha, I lol'd at your sister's reaction! That's gold.
Reply
she's still not completely comfortable with it but we've managed to build a pretty good relationship and she'll even ask about a guy if i'm dating someone at the time.
Reply
i doubt i would be able to
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i think pressure from the rest of the family (who are all very accepting) got her to get over whatever her big hang-up with homosexuality was and we have slowly been building a relationship since then.
she's the one who started making an effort so forgiving her wasn't as hard as i thought.
Reply
I'm glad you've been able to build some sort of somewhat-stable relationship with her again. I'm glad that your father didn't react similarly, and surprised too. It's rare for the mother to be more close-minded about it than the father, from what I observe, but it happens.
I hope that one day your mother will realize that you're still the same person.
Reply
then one year passed, she visited me and my bf and stayed with us. since then she s cool.
but i was 22 and lived abroad since i was 21. anyway i m pretty glad she s ok with it. even asks now how is my love life.
i m from Ukraine btw. not most of gay accepting countries.
my brother is cool too.
in life i dont jump to telling people if its not relevant to a conversation, but if it is i m relaxed about it.
Reply
Reply
about hiding - i just meant that i dont introduce myself as Yev, the gay. but if we discuss weekend or relationships, then i ll mention something gay related
i never had to hide it for safety - but thats maybe i m not most obvious gay person. but i am still sometimes uneasy about PDA in public places other than gayborhood
Reply
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