Online dating?

[jackdonovan]

I have an account on www.myyearbook.com  I go onto it at work because I'm "forbidden" to access facebook or myspace.  Yes, I know - it's kinda pathetic that I created an account on a website to keep me entertained.  Cest la vie.  Twitter alone just doesn't do it for me.  So I go on there to keep from being bored, especially on weekends.

This past

Comments

[mr_keyz]

Long distance relationships are very hard, but I've known a few people who've made it work. But solely online? No.

Is there any chance of one of you flying to see the other to at least meet and see if the chemistry is still there? I'd try to make that happen, and then go from there.

[jackdonovan]

We have made an agreement to meet up with each other down the road...when we're both able to afford it. I just got an apartment and I'm living on my own for the first time in nearly 4 years, so money isnt as expendable as it used to be - sadly enough. I appreciate your thoughts :)

[suitablyemoname]

If resources would keep you from meeting within the immediate future, your chances of succeeding drop considerably. It's still possible, but... good luck.

[jackdonovan]

Thanks again for the optimism.

[blueduck37]

"Him and I click really well. ... I really thought I'd never allow myself to connect with someone on a romantic level for years to come."

I apologize if this comes off mean, but this makes no sense to me at all. You don't even know this person. Not really. You've never met. Your only interaction with this man is on the internet. These emotions aren't based on any a deep level of substance.

I do the online dating thing too and I cannot tell you how many men I've been contacted by on the site and have had great chats with online (lots in common, great connection, etc), and then when we finally met in real life, for an actual date... boom, no chemistry. No second date. Time to move on. The internet is not real life. We all need to remember this.

Now I do get why you're feeling this way... it seems like you don't have a lot of dating experience, and have even cut yourself off from that aspect of your life for some time. You're lonely and longing for a real connection with a man. Trust me, I get that. So you're chatting with this guy

[mr_keyz]

Solid advice!

[jackdonovan]

That was really insightful. And you are right, I have never met him in person so I don't even know if the chemistry is there in the first place. We do have plans to meet up in the future though...just to make sure it is the same in person as it is online.

As far as dating guys in Arizona, not much luck there. The good ones are taken (or straight), and the rest of them are into the club scene, and the majority attract drama (not saying that I dont, but them moreso than I).

I've had a few relationships here and there, but nothing that ever lasted more than 6 months. My past exes have either left AZ and left me behind...or they tend to cheat (which im beginning to think is almost normal nowadays).

I'll heed your advice and make an attempt to keep this as realistic and practical as possible. Thanks for the comment :)

[blueduck37]

No problem.

And as a PS... we should also never think of cheating and lying from men as "normal". Yes, it's far too common, but it's always unacceptable. Nothing wrong with having standards!

[suitablyemoname]

Online relationships VERY RARELY follow through and last.

Well, it depends. And it depends much more than you seem to think it does.

Relationships that become online relationships rarely last. (The worst possible circumstances under which to start an online relationship involve something like you being together for a few months in Arizona, but then he gets a job in Chicago or Seattle or London or wherever so you move it online. He likes the job, you don't want to move to be with him, and travel is expensive: it will be at least several years before you're an offline couple for any real length of time, and neither of you knows how long that'll take. Under these circumstances, the relationship would be more or less guaranteed to fail.)

However, relationships that start as online, long-distance relationships can actually turn out all right, provided you're prepared to commit to some sort of in-person interaction at some point down the road. (Ideally within 2-3 months, but certainly within 6.) It's all about setting those parameters

[jackdonovan]

I appreciate your optimism and logicality in your thoughts. *takes into consideration* - Have a nice day :)

[calendarbaby]

I think it's really dependent on the promises you make to each other and the upholding of those promises.
Also included is the strength of the feelings and how it works when you two are in the same room.

You say you're going to meet next Wednesday, you meet, then fine. You two sit down, do whatever, the fire is there, keep the hope alive.
If you don't meet (at a promised time or at all), I think that says something. If you meet and it's not what you thought it would be (negatively speaking) then that says it all right there.

Furthermore, have you talked to him and how he feels? Be blunt, be honest and be real.
If he's not feeling the same thing, it's not going to work, yeah?

Having never online dated myself, this might not even apply to you buuut those are my thoughts.

[jackdonovan]

We're on the same page as our feelings for each other are concerned. I know and understand that honesty and communication are definitely important, especially in a relationship where you won't see one another that often...and I'll throw trust in there too :P

I guess the only thing I can do for now is just to see how everything pans out. It's only been a week or so that we've been talking. So who knows...maybe the feeling will fade. But IDK...there's just something about this one. Anyway, thanks for the comment.

[rogonandi]

Long distance online relationships can work. My husband who is sitting on the couch a few feet away from me as I type this was once living over two thousand miles away. Our relationship was long distance for about four years until we actually got together as a 'real life' couple.

It take a lot of hard work to make it happen though. Patience is probably the most important thing when in a long distance thing.

[jackdonovan]

Patience is definitely a virtue...one of which im still trying to acquire haha. Good to know there are living examples like yourself. Thanks for the advice :)