The week of self-flagellation is over. See you next year, self-loathing.

I don't know how to describe forensics banquet this year. It was different. Maybe it was the change in venue, or the fact that I wasn't sitting with Cara, or the presence of my mom and two littler siblings - but it felt wider, and bigger; there were definitely more strangers ( Read more... )

This is the reason I've never really joined in the upper levels of JSA.
I hate playing mind games.
And it's just so, so, unfair that they could turn something I love into something messy and political.

I don't know how to live in a world where I feel like I can't encounter one genuine person.

So I must have had this draft email on Gmail - because Gmail's good at archiving things that you might otherwise forget - for ages, now. Perhaps since the beginning of freshman year I've had Dave's cell number in a draft email, to be transferred to something more permanent or at least more tangible. He may have gotten a new phone by now. Maybe now ( Read more... )

I know that there will breakouts, freakouts, times where I think I can't handle it, times where I go postal, etc. etc. but even though what I wrote was shit today, tonight feels so attainable. I feel presumptuous, but presumptuous in a way that feels more daring and self-conscious than shameful.

Freud says that what we hate in ourselves we see in other people.

this is our team.
this is our team.
this is our team.

I want to be one of those people who makes it look easy.

I'm not sure whether I believe that, that we write just to defy death ( Read more... )

What are we going to do without them?

I don't know if I've ever felt so much affection for so many people at a single time.
I definitely have never cried so hard on a bus before. I have never hugged so many people, I have never been spun around during one of those hugs.

I didn't want that bus ride to end. I could've stayed there forever, just sitting ( Read more... )

I remember snippets of my dreams more easily now ( Read more... )