Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 1.2
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1.1
When we last left the Iridescence family, Passion finally found herself a man, a commitment-phobe and submissive handcuff enthusiast named Hank, who she roped into a marriage he probably didn't want.
However also since we last saw them, my Sims game decided to hate me and crash every time I tried to save. After nearly three hours of tearing out my hair trying to fix the damn thing, I realized the lot was bugged, so I ended up moving them into another empty lot across the street. I tried to keep the same basic layout of the house, plus a bit of an expansion since Hank moving in gave me another §6,000 to work with ^_^
As I was building the house, synchronized "omg so damn tired" happened and it amused me greatly.
But let's move on.
This is their new home! There's an upstairs but since I forgot to take a picture of it, this is all you get ¬_¬ It's just a hallway and a bedroom anyway, so you're not missing much. Especially since all they could afford to put up there was a bed.
They're living so large, let me tell you.
And I still didn't give Passion a TV, because being mean and denying her the pleasure makes me laugh. I'm so awful, lol.
Anyway, since Hank was now officially part of the family, I decided he was due for a makeover.
HOW CUTE IS HE?! fjhdkjfgdng. Seriously though, the red suits him. I decided all the spouses were going to get their hair changed to the color of their generation, because more rainbow colors make everything better.
Passion: So since you're officially mine forever, I have decided that my next step in making your life miserable is forcing you to change your occupation. I can't have you working for my father, after all. How about writing books? You could be good at that. You better be good at that.
Hank: ...I knew this was going to happen. Ugh, but my excuse to carry handcuffs!
Oh, get over it. Your kinky pleasures are not as important as Passion getting whatever she wants, whenever she wants it. Not that I play favorites or anything.
So Hank got to work on his first novel entitled "Help! There's an Alien in my Pants!" Though it was not widely acclaimed by the Sci-Fi community, it's small, cult-like fandom treat it as a how-to manual and now spend all their time trying to contact other worlds, begging their inhabitants to stuff themselves into various items of their clothing. What they plan to gain from this, no one is sure... not even Hank. But hey, it put his name on the map!
Since it was winter and Passion's garden had yet to be replanted outside of their new home, I made her spend all her free time painting. Girl's gotta make a living somehow, because holy god they are so poor.
Passion: Ah, this, this will be my masterpiece!
You really do like to live in your own little world, don't you? You're painting skill is like, three.
Passion: So I was thinking, since we obviously can't afford kids, we should probably start having them right away because I'm an A+ decision maker. So take off your pants, Sir Sexy, because I'm about to take a ride on your disco stick - a la Gaga style!
Hank: If that's what it takes to finally get some damn sleep around here, then we might as well fuck up our lives just a little bit more. After all, that is what my Queen wishes and her wish is my submissive command.
That's the spirit! :D
Sex works up quite the appetite. Or, you know, practically starves them to death. Either way.
The Winter Festival came to town and Hank wasted no time demonstrating his sexy athleticism to the world.
Seriously though that's fucking impressive.
Meanwhile, Passion made a new friend over on the ice rink. Sort of.
Girl Who's Name Escapes Me Because She Is No Longer On Passion's Relationship Panel: You are more beautiful than anyone I have ever seen. Be mine forever?
Passion: Oh, you flatter me, random lesbian! But I'm married, so this is startlingly inappropriate. Perhaps in another life; but for now, relish in the warmth of my grasp and the smile upon my face. I know it'll bring joy to your loveless heart, if only for a moment.
Seriously though, what is it with my game and randomly deleting people from Passion's life? This is becoming rather inconvenient -__-
Real men paint snowflakes on their face. And shave their beard whilst doing so, apparently.
For being a coward, Passion seems pretty indifferent to zombies. Perhaps this one doesn't count because it's so clearly jealous of her rockin' body. But hey, the girl's dead; how sexy does she really expect to be? Seems a bit unfair of her to give her the stank eye.
That night, during the really annoying full moon and it's stupid glow that messes up my suave photo editing, Passion realizes she's pregnant! fjhsdkfbds BABIES, YOU GUYS.
However, being pregnant only seems to increase Passion's grumpiness tenfold.
Passion: Why is that dishwasher so freaking loud?!
Passion: WHY IS THIS TOILET IS SO IMMENSELY DISPLEASING!??
Dude, chill.
Passion: I AM FILLED WITH RAGE, LEAVE ME ALONE.
Oookay, but...
... wait. What are you doing?!
Passion: Cooking, what does it look like I'm doing?
Put some clothes on!
Passion: THE DISHWASHER THOUGH.
Omg what is wrong with you, get dressed now. Especially since I find it weird that your custom skin makes you look unpregnant.
Passion: FINE, HAPPY NOW?!!
Passion: Oh, but my baby is so perfect...
Hank: Holy god, this bitch and her mood swings are freaking insane!
I'm with you, dude.
Hank: ...Oh dear.
Yeahhhh, best not tell Passion you broke the one thing that allows you to make money.
So Hank heads off to the dump to collect enough scrap to afford the repair technician. Because yeah, they really are that poor.
Hank: ...This is going to take awhile.
Yes, yes it will.
Little Miss Mood Swing seemed to miss Hank rather immensely while he was gone though and greeted him with a tight, loving embrace. Though Hank enjoys being treated like Passion's little whipping bitch, he found that it was also nice to feel like she truly needs him.
Aww.
Also it was probably a nice break from all the screaming.
Hank: You're getting so big, my little lovemuffin! ...Not that I'm calling you fat, or anything. You could never be fat; you're beautiful and made of the stars that light up my life! I don't think I could take another breath without your--
Passion: Please crawl out of my ass for a moment, it's getting quite uncomfortable with you so firmly lodged up there.
Hank: ...Yes, dear.
Hank: Wait, I think I hear the baby talking to me!
Passion: ...It's a fetus. It can't talk.
Hank: No really, I think I can hear--!
Passion: Oof. Shut up for a moment! That felt...
Passion: OH JESUS THE BABY IS COMING! HANK DO SOMETHING, I THINK I SOILED MYSELF.
Hot.
A few very painful hours later, the happy couple welcomed little baby Autumn into the world! She rolled artistic and loves the outdoors.
And because I have no patience for babies, I aged her up right when they got home.
SHE IS SO PERFECT OMG.
No really though.
She is SO cute! Look at her little--
Autumn: Hey crazy lady, stop taking pictures of me while I'm eating; it's super awkward.
Oh, sorry :/
Anyway, since they're so poor, I thought it would be beneficial if Hank worked on his fame. Celebrities get free stuff, after all.
He begun by schmoozing Teddy Mayfield, who was famous for... idk, construction work or something? Whatever.
Hank: I am such a fan of your bricklaying; it's out of this world! Really, the way you place them next to each other so perfectly makes my heart fill with wonderment and awe.
Teddy: Omg, you're so sweet. Be my BFF?
Hank Okay! :D
... And that is how he gained his first celebrity star. Fascinating, I know.
Meanwhile:
Passion: Alright my little princess, be a big girl and pee for mommy!
Autumn: Is it supposed to feel like I'm squeezing a teddybear out of my bum? It's---oop, that's a smelly one.
Passion: *le gasp* That wasn't very lady like!
Oh, leave her be. If the girl's gotta go, she's gotta go.
As Hank had his birthday into adulthood on their front lawn, I finally realized that his beard didn't come back after he washed the face paint from the festival off. Idk why.
But I quickly rectified the situation.
It might be worth mentioning that I haven't played the Sims since Late Night, so anything from that expansion onward is new to to me. So I was super excited when Autumn got her little creepy doll/possible imaginary friend named Squeaky.
Autumn: fhjdskfd new best friend!
Autumn: OM NOM NOM. TASTY BEST FRIEND.
I don't think the purpose of the doll is to eat it, but okay.
Passion: Alright, repeat after me: I will get a job, make lots of money, and dig my parents out of the shit-poor lifestyle they have found themselves in.
Autumn: Money... job!
Passion: Close enough.
Passion: And remember, if your daddy mentions handcuffs, it's only because he used to be a cop. It's not like he's desperately pining for me to cuff him to the bed or anything.
Autumn: *naive childhood stare of innocence*
Passion: Oh and we like diamonds. Make sure you get a guy to give you a big one.
Autumn: Diamonds!
Passion: That's my little gold digger to be!
I know it seems like Passion's doing all the questionable parenting, but I assure you she's not.
See, there's Mr. Dad in action :D
...And then this dude from the paparazzi just waltzes right into their home and fills it with creepy pedophile vibes.
Hank: Dude, wtf!
I'm really not comfortable with this.
Spring is here! That means Passion can finally start rebuilding her Magnificent Garden of Badassery. FYEAH.
But then Passion grew into adulthood and ended up landing smack dab in the middle of a mid-life crisis.
Passion: I HATE EVERYTHING THAT I AM.
Seems healthy.
Hank: Come on, my beautiful offspring; I must teach you to walk so if Mommy goes crazy you can run away as fast as you can!
But just as Passion was going to make the mid-life, stupidity of a decision to divorce Hank, this happened!
Maybe baby number two will make her want to keep her husband around. Let's hope? :/
The Legacy Continues Here