Sawajiri Legacy ;; Generation 1.1
Warnings:
Foul Language
Slight Racism
Adult Themes
Authors Note:
I'm pretty new to challenges, though I've been playing The Sims since it first came out. So I'm not sure if I'm even doing this correctly, or if there's even a "right" way to do it, but what the hey. Just so you're forewarned, I tend to be one hell of a micro manager, especially when I start having more than one sim; so we'll see how well I can keep up with actually remembering to take pictures and keeping up a semi-decent story line. Wish me luck!
Meet Aiko, our founder. At eighteen she was brought over to America on a "work study program" to teach fitness to mentally disabled kids. However, due to some shady business dealings and something involving an international smuggling ring and an assload of cocaine, the "work study program" was shut down and she was thrown out on her ass into the big, bad world. Pissed off that she didn't have a visa, a job, or a place to live now, Aiko stole some of their blow and ran away to Veronaville to start a new life; one that hopefully was far away from anyone who worked for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Cause hi; it would really suck to be deported.
With the few thousand simoleons she got from selling the blow to local teenagers (morals? pfft, what are those?), Aiko found herself a little piece of land on the outskirts of town. Granted, she couldn't actually afford walls yet, but who needs privacy when you're this fucking hot? Really, she's doing the world a service, here.
Aiko was welcomed into the neighborhood almost immediatly, and like what every good neighbor does, they all started judging the fuck out of each other silently.
AIKO: WTF is wrong with this bitch's face?
GILBERT: This chick's got a SWEET ass. I wonder how much money it'll take to get a piece of that.
MALCOM: -stank eye- I hate immigrants.
TITANIA: -stares blankly-
GILBERT: So you came from that "work study program," eh? I, uh... was wondering then... how much do you charge?
AIKO: Excuse me?
GILBERT: Y'know, for sex. I heard about that company.
AIKO: They smuggled in drugs, not hookers, you idiot. Back the fuck up before I junk punch you.
MALCOM: BAHAHAHA, DID YOU JUST HEAR WHAT HE SAID? WHAT A DOUCHE NOZZLE! FUNNEST SHIT I'VE HEARD ALL WEEK...
My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy. Until...
Oh wait, sorry. That's just Gilbert glaring at Malcom for laughing at him. Easy mistake.
MALCOM: Don't mind him; he hasn't actually ever had a real conversation with a woman, unless you count his Jenna Jameson blow up doll. But enough about him, let's talk about ME! I know you're a dirty immigrant and everything, but maybe your life will better improve if you heard about all the wonders I've accomplished in my short, yet successful time on this earth!
AIKO: *yawn* Yeah, quit while you're ahead, dude. I already heard about your genital herpes from Titania and that's pretty much all I ever really need to know about you. KTHXBAI.
ADRIAN: HALLO. I HEAR U R HOOKER. U SEX ME, YES?
AIKO: Seriously? No. GTFO.
ADRIAN: I sorry... I sorry...
AIKO: Listen up, people! Just because I'm Asian, it doesn't make me a hooker! I also do not make donuts and I won't do your fucking nails, alright?!
SHANNON: Ohhhh... so that's what everyone was whispering about! I GET IT NOW ;D
TITANIA: *whispers to Gilbert* How many hooker babies do you think she has?
AIKO: Omg that's it, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! ... Er, off my property. WHATEVER.
*** LATER THAT WEEK ***
JEANNIE: HI! I heard from my brother's friend who knows this guy who met this girl who's second cousin said that you sell drugs! ;D
AIKO: *already 15 minutes into explaining why she can't fucking be here* I've told you this a thousand times: I don't have any cocaine. And yes, I know you're trying to watch a movie but you seem to be missing one key aspect here: THIS IS MY HOUSE. You can't wait for hypothetical drugs here!
JEANNIE: ... *blinks* I don't see a house.
AIKO: Fuck. Property. Whatever!
AIKO: *on phone* Yes, I'm aware that I called the fire station, but this is an emergency: this girl won't get out of my house! *pause* No, I don't wanna be connected to the fucking poli--- shit.
Aiko learns very quickly that no police is good police. In keeping with that philosophy, she allows all these random teenagers to show up at her "house" and just kick back and eat her food, watch her telly, and make fun of her in her ridiculous mascot uniform. Fucking United States. IN JAPAN SHE WOULD BE ALL ALL-STAR BY NOW, THANKS.
Now let's take a moment to appreciate the awkwardness of synchronized OMG IT'S RAINING:
Yeah. Awkward. Moving on...
Since random people started to make themselves at home on her property, Aiko found it appropriate to just say "fuck it" and throw a party.
... which pretty much turned into a complete clusterfuck.
Malcom was being a creeper. As usual. There is no excuse for being all up in someone's space like that, dude.
Some random teenage girl apparently took it upon herself to fall in love with Aiko, since she's clearly the gayest thing since Xena. Or... not.
To prove her ungayness, Aiko made out with a coworker. Which then prompted Gilbert to scream at her like some kind of scorned lover:
GILBERT: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY HOOKER!
Oh well.
Regardless of Gilbert's protests, Aiko decided it was high time she got a little somethin' somethin' for her Hello Kitty. Unfortunatly....
JASON: Shit, I shoulda worn a condom...
NEXT TIME...
Yes. He damn well should have worn a condom.