Sawajiri Legacy ;; Generation 1.2
Warnings:
Foul Language
Adult Themes
Past Updates:
1.1
Authors Note: I'm not sure how everyone else numbers theirs, but I figure I'll have "Gen 2" start when my heir is an adult, that way that whole story line is about them. It makes sense to me, anyway xD
Aiko, unaware that she has been invaded by sperm and fertilized like a prized pumpkin patch, one day finds herself being oogled by the paper boy, though not for the reason she would like.
PAPER BOY: Dayum, girl! You got one helluva badonkadonk!
Horrified, Aiko started working out 15 times a day to make sure she wasn't turning into the Pillsbury Doughboy. Because while she enjoys fatness on others (thanks randomizer, for that contradiction), she can't stand it on herself. Besides, who's ever heard of a fat Asian? -STEREOTYPE, STEREOTYPE...-
This isn't related to the story line in the slightest, but I was impressed that Aiko managed to watch TV when it wasn't even facing her. That's some skill right there.
As if things weren't going bad enough with her ass taking on a whole other zip code, some bastard decided that since she lived in middle of a freaking field that her belongings were up for grabs.
THIEF: Ohhaii random person who seems to be on the same deviant wavelength as me; I'm sorry, but this TV is mine. You can take that snazzy computer over there though!
AIKO: DUDE. I'm not a thief, I fucking live here. GIMME MY SHIT!
THIEF: Wait, whut?? *random cop tackles him out of nowhere* OH SHIZ!
COP: Back, evil fiend! Your act of calculated deviancy will be your undoing!
AIKO: Oh god, a cop. I'm not here... I'm not here... but if I was I'm totally a US citizen =/
Luckily for Aiko, the cop seems to not find anything strange about someone randomly living in the middle of a field. Either that or maybe he just prioritized arresting a burglar over deporting an immigrant, which makes it seem like Aiko's luck may be turning around. HURRAH!
COP: JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED. BOOYAH.
THIEF: FML.
But just when it seems like things are looking up...
AIKO: Aw, crap.
AIKO: Yes, Jason, I'm sure it's yours! *long pause* OH MY GOD, I AM NOT A HOOKER! I'm going to kill whoever's still spreading that shit around. Look, I swear to God the only dick I've had inside me is yours, and so help me god if you don't come over here and FIX THIS like a real man, I'll-- *distinctive click* Hello? HELLO? Damnit!
Surprisingly enough, Jason actually did come over. He practically ran over like his ass was on fire. Aw, what a good, responsibly boy. His mother would be proud.
JASON: I'm here, I'll fix this. I'll---
AIKO: You'll what, huh? I can't have this baby, Jason. My house doesn't even have walls! Winter is coming and it's going to end up snowing on my offspring's head! I'll end up having a retarded baby due to permanent brain freeze! I CAN'T HAVE A RETARDED BABY, JASON! WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS THINK?!
JASON: Don't worry, my beautiful cherry blossom! My momma always taught me you can't the sample milk without buying the cow, so here's a spare ring I randomly had in my back pocket! Marry me?
AIKO: That's right, you better put a ring on this finger! God knows I need to become a citizen anyway. And also, for the sake and safety of your genitals, I'm going to purposely ignore the cow comment. Be grateful. However, this still doesn't fix the problem that WE NEED WALLS.
JASON: Behold! WALLS!
AIKO: .... This house looks like shit. Is this a joke?
JASON: With all due respect, you lived on a lawn. Don't judge.
So Jason ended up building them a house... and apparently a hill. Talented little bugger, right?
Now that Jason has moved in, it's time for an introduction:
Strangely enough, his lifetime want is not only the same as Aiko's, but... he's actually already achieved it -___- So unless he gets demoted and them promoted again, I think I'm SOL with him. Grr.
Anyway, moving on with the story...
AIKO: My stomach is not a drum. Quit trying to play "Hot For Teacher" on it. You're not cool.
JASON: *in infant voice, completely ignoring Aiko* Does baby like that? Awww... you're gonna be a little rocker, aren't you?
AIKO: *rolls eyes*
A few months later, the due date finally arrived:
AIKO: GET THIS FUCKING THING OUT OF ME! It feels like my vagina is trying to pass a goddamn skyscraper! *indistinguishable wailing and swearing*
And then, in a burst of colorful confetti (because birthing a child is totally that clean and happy), Riku Sawajiri was born into this world, looking primarily like his mother.
Jason was overjoyed that it was a boy. Like, a little too happy. God forbid if they end up having a girl at some point, he'd probably reject it cause it couldn't play football. Sad!Day.
Jason bonded with Riku immediately...
...and really, how could he not when he was THIS CUTE? ^_^ I mean, that's some serious 'awww' going on right there.
Anyway, so everything seems to be going well. At least, that is until...
AIKO: Oh, shit.
NEXT TIME...
They were barely equipped to raise one child, how the hell are they going to raise two?