i tried playing with a ouija board the other day. i wanted to play it with a friend, but i have no friends in this world, only in hell, so i had to play by myself. my dad left to visit the grave of my dead brother and sister so when he was gone i went to hot topic and bought a ouija board and the newest black leather pants they had. black leather ( Read more... )

my therapist and i were talking about being goth the other day and she asked me what being goth was. i told her that you can not define what a goth is. being goth is just something you feel. being goth is natural and you are born into goth-dom. you do not just wake up one day with a black heart and an affinity for over-produced music where the ( Read more... )

while watching the exorcist, one of the most goth movies ever, i realized that it would be sooooo amazingly goth to be posessed by satan. you would totally have the power of the dark prince of evil and you could do so many goth things like turn the lights off with your mind and throw up pea soup onto a priest. the only thing more goth than being ( Read more... )

when i went to the mall today, i met some new 'goth' kids who were playing dance dance revolution. i do not like playing ddr because it ruins my make-up and it is hard to play in my black combat boots with a steel toe . these kids were not wearing make-up or nail polish. i knew they were just posing to be goths. everyone knows that goths do not ( Read more... )

this world hates me and i want to die. i am having a problem. i can not decide if i should be a straight-edge goth or a drug-addict goth. all of my goth friends at school are straight edge but i do not want to be a conformist. on mtv, it seems like all the coolest goths like marilyn manson and coal chamber do drugs all the time and i want to be as ( Read more... )

i hate thanksgiving. i am thankful for is death and despair. i hope it rains acid on the eyes of the disbelievers who do not recognize satan as their lord. i can not be thankful for life because life is my prison and my hell. i hope you are all eaten by sharks and fed to whales. die in pain because life is short and your thanksgiving meals mean ( Read more... )

four years ago today my brother died in our backyard swimming pool. he was 18 and he accidentally fell in and was not able to swim out because his black trench coat and black military boots dragged him under the water. i found him two weeks later at the bottom of the pool. luckily, he was wearing waterproof mascarra so the water did not make his ( Read more... )

i finished another anne rice novel. 'interview with the vampire' was the book of the month at my local goth club so i read it. i wish i could be a vampire, that way i could kill other people and give them the gift of death that i crave so deeply. plus, if i were a vampire, i wouldnt be forced to go out into the sunlight anymore and i could finally ( Read more... )

paul in my wood shop class tried to make me conform today. i told him he was conformist and that conformists can go to hell. then i put on my headphones and listened to coal chamber because that is what we goths do. i took shop so i could kill myself. shop is sooo goth.

i was sick at home today because i drank milk again. i watched 'the crow' and 'beetlejuice' three times today each because they are the most goth movies i know. michael keaton is the most goth person i know outside of myself and the lead singer of linkin park. i also wrote a poem today called 'black death dead die' and it is about my life in this ( Read more... )