so my relationship has been great.. until last month. i started getting all these insecurities and feeling incredibly sensitive.. and now i don't know if this will ever be resolved. i think that there is just something nice about a person reassuring you that you are important to them. he doesn't do this.. but i dont think its any fault of his, i ( Read more... )

I NEED to go to sleep, i have to wake up soo early for work.. but my goodness!! i am so nervous about proposition 8 passing that i can't tear myself from the computer. why would anyone vote yes to take away people's rights? i completely don't understand it. i nearly cried when i saw that right now, the yes votes are winning, and the haters are ( Read more... )

you don't really deserve to be alive.

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seriously. I log into livejournal to write about a dream (because he is here sleeping and i dont want to wake him up by getting up to get my written dream journal) and when I look at the front page of the site.. it mentions writing about dreams. ahhh! that's too weird ( Read more... )

yahoo. i got my tickets to burning man this year. I can't wait. Me and miss Sandra D are already formulating plans for possible dress themes. I seriously love that girl. She is dating our good friend Rama from the burn last year and he lives in Mammoth.. and supposedly every year he does a Cinco de mustachia party so i think im going to make it ( Read more... )

I get to see HIM *swwoooon* tomorrow... before he leaves for another two weeks to New York. I just talked to him on the phone and just hearing his voice made me feel so darn chipper ( Read more... )

yep. im going to whine again. i have certainly jumped up in the role of the pursuer.. and him the distancer. (yep terminology from school!) and im ruining shit. bad ( Read more... )

the new goal being, we have had some great times. And I can say with tears in my eyes and a half-smile on my face that he was my first true love.. and that although i did quite a bit to fuck it up.. i also did my share of trying to keep us together.. unsuccessfully.

i just want to take all of the bad things i did, and throw them away so that in case ( Read more... )

thanksgiving was a nice break from life.

good to see the family, and good to see friends i haven't seen in years.

i certainly drink too much and i make stupid stupid choices.. for instance, not doing any of my homework and choosing to drink instead.

So. It seems as though my crying, hysterical fits were down a little bit from yesterday’s count.. which could be good? But my feelings are so unpredictable that I’m not really sure if I am making progress or not.. because I digress so quickly.

Last night, found his hairs on my pillow before I went to sleep and lost it.. Had to read all of the ( Read more... )