At least not so far. I still have fleeting moments of wishing I'd never conceived. I cry from guilt and shame, frustration, anxiety, stress, and most of all, broken dreams when I have these thoughts. They don't get better, I just get better at hiding them. I can't wait for life or my outlook to improve. I feel like a sorry excuse for a mom at times ( Read more... )

So I have an account on AFF. I even visit from time to time, chat with my friends, make some new ones, and get leered at. It's to be expected. After all, the general impression most people seem to have (at least in America!) is that 'adult' means 'lewd and disrespectful towards perfect strangers'. Even my fellow Texans, citizens of one of the most ( Read more... )

My roomie, George, is a pretty laid back guy. I've found that it's nice to be around someone who isn't CrAzY (the bad kind)! It helps that we have similar tastes in foods, aesthetics, books, and general life outlook. These are all good things, but I'm not exactly blogging about the awesomeness of my roomie...not exactly anyway ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like the lost child ( Read more... )

I sent a message to Morna's sperm donor when I was told that she might have cancer. No reply of any kind. I expected more of him ( Read more... )

So we saw the cranialfacial surgeon today. The plan is really simple: Tuesday, we're going to put her under again and they are going to go back up through the mouth into her cheek and scrape off the tumor. Apparently that's the thing to do with this one. Without using a knife, they won't damage her facial structure and there will be no further ( Read more... )

The results of the biopsy diagnostic are in: Cranial Fasciitis. It is not fatal and 99% sure not cancerous - they rarely are it would seem. It is, however, very rare in occurrence and only in infants. It is characterized by rapid growth of a non-painful variety. The discomfort Morna has been in is a direct result of the specific location and the ( Read more... )

Hi everyone! If you haven't already seen my corset fundraising website, please visit me at www.ayianna.comLong story short, I need the monies for a corset for my mammaries are magnificently large. ^_ ( Read more... )

Morna isn't eating enough food - probably due to swelling of the mouth or soft palette. We'll see the speech therapy people in the morning to see if they have any ideas about what we can do to get her eating more foods. Here's a list of all the foods she's had today right up to the end of this post ( Read more... )

So far, we haven't gotten results back on the biopsy. It could be as late as next Thursday before we have all of the results in. I have been told that it doesn't look as concerning as they believed, so if it is cancer, it's easily treatable. Meanwhile, we're still in the hospital from Tuesday's biopsy. We may be leaving today if her temperature ( Read more... )