Title: Change 8/?
Pairings: Yunjae with a side of OCJae
Summary: Who knew that Jaejoong would be building a family out of a fling and who knew that his past will come back to haunt him. Jaejoong finds himself in a situation whereby a film contract is on his hand, he has JYJ members, company and family to please and oh, not forgetting a baby is on its way. Now throw in his ex-bandmates into the concoction and you've got a rollercoaster ride ready.
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Canon with a dash of AU! Mpreg!
Disclaimer: TVXQ/JYJ members belong to themselves.
Jongyun knew something was wrong when Jaejoong walked through the door at 11pm when his appointment should have been over by 4pm. He had ignored all the calls from a very worried Jongyun who was supposed to pick him up after surgery. But it seemed like there wasn’t a need for that because Jaejoong was still sporting his very visible baby bump. Jongyun stood up from the couch as a seemingly exhausted Jaejoong trudged his way into the apartment.
“Care to explain everything?” Jongyun asked with his arms folded across his chest. Everything mainly referring to why the baby was still here, why Jaejoong had not picked up his calls and finally why he was tumbling into the house so late.
Jaejoong brushed passed Jongyun and slumped into the couch instead. He was truly exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally as well. After Yunho had driven him to Han River, the two had simply sat in the car and talked. They ended up talking about everything starting from the point where their relationships had started to fall apart. Yunho finally came clean about why he refused to have a child with Jaejoong while they had been together. He said it had been the timing which hadn’t been right. They had been at the peak of careers and to start a family would not have been approved by company or the fans. But eventually Yunho said he regretted everything. Not having that baby with Jaejoong and not leaving the company together with JYJ. After they had spilt, the duo left in SM had faced hardships that they couldn’t have imagined. Initially, they had thought that their work would pay off but the more they worked, the tighter those chains around their neck felt. Even when they were doing something they liked which was to make music and perform on stage, it never felt right. Eventually Yunho ended up confessing that he did indeed want that freedom that JYJ had and he still loved Jaejoong very much. If Jaejoong had been recovering from his emotional trauma from earlier on, Yunho’s confession didn’t help his case. But Yunho told him he didn’t expect anything back from Jaejoong and Jaejoong had agreed on that because he was now on his way to continue building his family with Jongyun which almost got destroyed at the clinic today.
“I couldn’t do it.” Jaejoong answered Jongyun’s question earlier who continued to tower over him with his arms still folded. At this point of time, Jaejoong didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to think about the baby, he didn’t want to think about Jongyun, he didn’t want to think about Yunho most of all.
“Are you an idiot, Jaejoong?” Jongyun asked harshly, cutting through Jaejoong’s thoughts. “You’re going to end up losing the baby! Not only that, you will end up losing all other chances of having another baby!”
“No! I’m not!” Jaejoong defended, he was getting sick of being told what would have happened if he had made another decision. “I will not lose this baby. I will try my best to keep it safe. I will protect it.”
“Nobel words.” Jongyun scoffed. “But the statistics say otherwise.”
“Why can’t you ever think practically? Think in such a way that it’s beneficial for all? Why are you so overrun by emotions?” Jongyun continued to throw questions at Jaejoong questioning his intellectual abilities.
Jaejoong simply closed his eyes unable to take more emotional abuse instead he got up and headed to his bedroom, hoping that this awful day would just come to an end. That night Jongyun and Jaejoong spelt facing their back to each other for the first time.
--
The movie had 2 months of filming left and those 2 months passed by incredibly fast considering how the pace of filming picked up once they realized they are running behind schedule. Yunho and Jaejoong continued to mend their relationship but the awkwardness from Yunho’s sudden confession still persisted. But Jaejoong tried to ignore that by delving further into his work. Thankfully, the film had finished filming in a timely manner. It had concluded with Jaejoong’s character finally choosing the father of his child. It had been undoubtedly Do Hoon who had been his college love, the one whom he had loved from the start before Kyungsam had stepped into the picture. It’s difficult to forget a love that lasted that long despite the situations Choi Hyun had found himself in. True love was hard to fight against a love that was forced due to circumstances. It indeed brought a good message across to the audience telling them how much of a mess love brought on and how important it was to never forget one’s first true love.
The cast and crew had a grandeur celebratory party afterwards. Everyone was exhausted but were overflowing with happiness as this marked the end of a successful project. The cast, crew and invited guests mingled with each other while being surrounded by great food and free flow champagne.
Jaejoong was talking to one of the producers when Changmin, who had been invited by Yunho, came up to him to pass a plate of food.
“Enjoy your meal, Jaejoong-shi and have a good night.” The producer concluded their conversation and made his way to talk to Seung Hoon instead. Jaejoong took the plate filled with a variety of dishes from Changmin and raised an eyebrow at the quantity of it all. Jaejoong might be eating a lot more now considering he just started on third trimester but it would never match up to how much food Changmin could still consume even though his ‘growing’ years were long over.
“Just eat.” Changmin ordered. “And why are you still standing around? Sit down.”
Changmin was starting to become an overbearing mother hen. Once he had learnt about Jaejoong’s condition, he barely left Jaejoong alone whenever they met up. Who would have thought that their roles would become reversed after all this time. He could still remember Jaejoong mothering him while they had been together in DBSK. Cooking food for him, reminding him to do his laundry and constantly advising him on how to perform better. Now, it seemed like their roles had been switched. Changmin made sure that Jaejoong was eating well and not straining himself.
Changmin grabbed seat for Jaejoong and himself as the two settled down to enjoy the good food after spending some time mingling with the guests. Yunho had still been making rounds around the room, talking to almost everyone there.
“Hey, you guys are eating already.” Yunho pouted as he finally found the two of them tucked into the corner of the party.
“Yes, I thought we’ll call it an early night tonight.” Changmin replied. “Jae-hyung is tired so I thought I’ll drive him back home.”
“You sure?” Yunho looked at Changmin. “I could drive him if you want.”
“Nah, you still have a lot of socialising to do.” Changmin said gesturing to the crowd at the party.
Jaejoong smiled at the two, secretly loving the attention and care the two were showering on him. It seemed like pregnancy did have its perks, no matter how little they may be.
“Okay.” Yunho said a little reluctantly. “Take care.” He took Jaejoong’s hand into his and gave a little squeeze before moving into the maze of people again.
--
“Sorry to trouble you, Min.” Jaejoong said as the two sat in Changmin’s car which was heading towards Jaejoong’s apartment.
“Hey, it’s no trouble. Don’t worry about it.” Changmin said as he continued to drive. He looked like the true definition of a man then and there. A firm posture, a loose but controlled grip on the steering wheel, answering maturely with an aura of confidence. His Changminie had indeed grown up.
“Too bad Jongyun-shi couldn’t stay the entire night, eh?” Changmin commented. Jongyun, who Jaejoong had invited along to the party, had to leave the party halfway due to an urgent meeting. What could have been so urgent at that time of the night?
“Yeah…” Jaejoong sighed. Well, let’s just say things between Jongyun and him weren’t going well. Ever since the miscarriage Jaejoong almost had, Jongyun had started to distance from Jaejoong and their relationship. They hardly saw each other with Jaejoong wrapping up filming while Jongyun prepared for his new movie. Even at night, when they slept in the same bed, they hardly made love or at least cuddled. Jaejoong didn’t know how to make things right with Jongyun running away from everything.
“Hyung, you know you can tell be anything right?” Changmin said as he saw the miserable look on his hyung’s face. Changmin wasn’t exactly a judgemental person but staying in this industry long enough had morphed him into one. He didn’t know much about Jongyun because he hadn’t had much chance to interact with actor but ever since the day he saw Jongyun drag Jaejoong away from the villa, the tabloid news about him going out with Ueno Juri, the lack of concern for Jaejoong when it came to him and baby told Changmin that this person was one to watch out for. All he needed was for Jaejoong to tell him that he wanted out of the relationship and Changmin would make sure that Jongyun was no longer part of Jaejoong’s life.
“It’s Jongyun.” Changmin had guessed that much so he just prompted Jaejoong to continue. “I feel that we are growing apart as we get nearer to the having the baby and getting married. Shouldn’t it be the contrary?”
Changmin let out a sigh. All he wanted was to tell Jaejoong to call it the quits with Jongyun but he didn’t want to have a quick and shallow judgement. After all, he did not know Jongyun all that well. Jongyun could still be a decent person despite his uncaring ways, Changmin wouldn’t know. Neither could he be a judge of Jaejoong’s true feelings for Jongyun. If Jaejoong truly loved Jongyun then he had no business meddling in. Plus, Jaejoong was having a baby with him and getting married to him, it’s not as easy as simple as breaking up a boyfriend. More than just two lives depended on this relationship.
But a selfish part of Changmin, who knew about his leader’s feelings towards Jaejoong, wanted him to just end it all with Jongyun and go back to being with Yunho, the way it had always been. In fact, despite the fact Changmin would have done everything for Yunho’s happiness, he had completed loathed it whenever Yunho had tried to date other people. To him, the only one for Yunho was Jaejoong and vice versa.
“You should talk to him.” Changmin advised against his own desires and feelings. He knew he couldn’t be selfish. If Jaejoong and Jongyun could make it work, then it would mean less heartache for Jaejoong and a better world for a baby to come into although it would also mean that Yunho would be the one losing out. His poor, poor hyung.
“You think I haven’t tried that?” Jaejoong asked dejectedly.
“Make him sit and talk. Do it. Even if you have to try again and again.” Changmin still stood behind his words. Most relationships failed because of lack of communication or miscommunication. Yunho and Jaejoong and in fact the entire of DBSK was a living example of it.
--
Jongyun had escaped the party earlier with an excuse of having an urgent meeting. Of course, there hadn’t been any urgent meeting. Jongyun just needed some time alone. Alone from the crowds of people and alone from Jaejoong. He needed space to think about where his life was going. He had a movie coming his way along with yet another big responsibility of having a baby and marrying Jaejoong. Sometimes, Jongyun wished he should have let Jaejoong go through with the abortion when they had first discovered Jaejoong was having a baby. It would have made life much easier for him now. Then again, he had been so afraid of losing Jaejoong that he had allowed him to have the baby and even proposed to him. But thoughts filled with doubt had started infiltrating into his mind even since Jaejoong almost lost their baby. Jongyun had realized that he was just not ready to be a father or husband just yet. He was just 29 for god’s sake! He had his entire life ahead of him! He didn’t want to spend his entire life coming back to a nagging spouse and crying children. He wanted to date people, discover places and try new things. Routine was just not his thing.
Which is why when the doctor had diagnosed Jaejoong’s condition, he had felt that perhaps that had been his chance for a way out. Too bad, Jaejoong had taken things into his own hands no thanks from Yunho’s encouragement and decided to still keep the baby. Ever since that day, things had not gone well between Jaejoong and him. Jongyun started having all these doubtful thoughts as he continued to push Jaejoong away. Their fights had increased, they spent less time together and Jongyun had started drinking much more. Just like what he was doing now, nursing his 8th can of beer after polishing off the entire bottle of whiskey. Jongyun knew that he still loved Jaejoong. He hadn’t liked anyone as much before. But the idea of having a family with him started to seem like it wasn’t something for him.
Just then, Jaejoong had entered the apartment not expecting Jongyun to have returned from his ‘urgent meeting’. To his surprise, the kitchen light had been switched on as Jongyun sat at the counter nursing his can of beer. Jaejoong left his jacket at the coat hanger and changed into his slippers as he immediately made a beeline towards his fiancé.
“Jongyun…” Jaejoong combed his fingers through Jongyun’s hair who still had his back towards Jaejoong, not turning to acknowledge his presence.
Jongyun sat there sighing and Jaejoong recognised the signs immediately. Jongyun had too much to drink. He would fall silent and start overthinking everything, letting out little sighs here and there. Jongyun turned around and stood up as he grabbed Jaejoong into a hug. Or more like draped himself all over Jaejoong. He missed Jaejoong. He honestly did. With all the tension that had come between them, Jongyun wanted it to be the old times again.
Jaejoong had just stood there surprised. This was probably the first time they having such intimate contact in the past week.
“Let’s get to bed, hmm?” Jaejoong cooed at him as though Jongyun was child once he had gotten over the shock. Jongyun got heavy when he got drunk so Jaejoong had to slowly drag him into their bedroom.
He laid his fiancé down after making sure that his shirt and pants were off. Once that was managed, Jaejoong tucked Jongyun into the covers before deciding to get himself ready bed as well. Before he could do that, Jongyun made a grab for him and brought him down onto the bed as well.
“I love you, Kim Jaejoong. Always remember that.” He declared and trapped Jaejoong into his hold. Jaejoong laid on Jongyun’s chest feeling confused. After weeks of being pushed away, why was Jongyun suddenly acting this way…?
--
Jongyun’s mother, Mrs. Lee, had stepped through the door as soon as Jongyun had left for his photoshoot that morning.
“Oh, Jaejoongie darling, you are absolutely glowing.” She gushed over her soon to be son-in-law as soon as she walked in. Mrs. Lee indeed had a bubbly personality that was incredibly infectious. Even Jaejoong, who had been going through an emotional chaos with Jongyun’s on and off affection, had managed to smile while he helped her put down the boxes that she had carried through the door.
“Your mother sent food.” She announced once they had laid down the boxes in the living room. She then took the liberty to bring out tupperware and take them into the kitchen where she placed them into the fridge.
“You need to eat more.” She stated as she came back and looked up and down Jaejoong’s frame. The doctors had said that despite the complications Jaejoong had faced earlier, he and baby had been doing well so far but to mothers, it’s never enough.
“Oh! I almost forgot.” She gasped as she fished out yet another bottle of something from her bag.
“These are some Korean supplements that will help you. My doctors had also said something about having a weak womb while I was carrying Jongyun but honestly, I didn’t pay attention to most of their nonsense. Just take these daily and you’ll be fine.” She exclaimed as she handed Jaejoong the bottle.
She continued bustling around the apartment while mumbling something about the load of bullshit doctors nowdays fed to their patients and how she wishes that Jaejoong would simply to go a traditional Korean doctor instead. Once both sets of parents had heard about Jaejoong’s condition, they had become overwhelming with their attention on Jaejoong. His own mother had started sending him weekly packages that mostly consisted of containers of nutritional food that supposed to be good for him and the baby. While Mrs. Lee had started to drop by his apartment every now and then to make sure that he was doing well and being well-fed. In all honesty, he was starting to develop a love-hate relationship with food. On one hand it helped reduce the constant hunger pangs he had but sometimes he simply thought he was being over fed. It wouldn’t be a surprise that at end of this pregnancy, he would become a giant ball that needs to be rolled around everywhere.
“Anyway, today I’m here with something special.” Jongyun’s mother clasped her hand excitedly. “I brought some clothes over so you can go through the material and their colours for your wedding suit!”
“Well, we can’t take the size just yet.” She continued rambling. “But we can definitely start off by picking the colours and materials you want to be in. Come sit next to me so that we can start choosing.”
“I honestly think beige, crème or light brown would love really look lovely on you. But in all honesty, I think everything looks good on you, honey.” She commented as she undid the boxes and started to pull out various clothes from them. Jaejoong sat down next to her, his calmness a great contrast to her excitement. “Let’s see…”
She held up on of the crème coloured cloth and put it against Jaejoong’s chest to see how it would look. After admiring the great colour match, she looked up to Jaejoong’s face for his approval. But instead of a approving or disapproving face, she was met with a rather blank face with a tinge of gloominess.
“Jae sweetie, is there something wrong?” She asked as her hands holding the cloth fell to her sides. She realized Jaejoong had barely spoken since her arrival. “You can tell me anything, sweetheart.”
Jaejoong shook his head and took the cloth in her hands. He put it up against himself and gave an approving nod which barely covered the misery on his face.
“Did Jongyun do something, honey?” she asked, the clothes and colours all forgotten.
Jaejoong sighed, his arms falling back to their positions as well. Of course it was Jongyun who had put him in this emotional state but he wasn’t going to complain about his fiancé to his own mother about how their relationship was not at its best as Jongyun was being an uncooperative and utterly confusing idiot.
“Jae…if he did something, I’ll set him straight alright?” Mrs. Lee promised but Jaejoong turned away from her. “Honey, I know Jongyun can be difficult sometimes. I’m his mother, I would know. No matter how many relationships he has had, commitment is something that still new to him. Honestly, I was incredibly surprised when he told me he wanted to marry you and also incredibly scared because this was his first time taking such a big step in a relationship. So you have to give him time and space to adjust, yeah? He may be trying to distance himself but remember he loves you and will always come back to you.” Jaejoong turned back to face Mrs. Lee but this time he had unshed tears in his eyes.
“Oh honey…” Mrs. Lee took Jaejoong into her arms and rubbed his back in comfort.
“Come, I’m gonna make us some tea and we’ll watch some videos on…what’s that thing called again...? You…YouTube, is it?” Mrs. Lee tried to remember. “I just learnt how to use it and let me tell you, cats are indeed funny creatures!”
--
The following 2 months passed by equally as fast. If Jaejoong thought he would have more time for himself once the movie went into post production, he was completely wrong. The responsibilities kept piling up on him. His parents and soon to be in laws kept pushing him and Jongyun to decide on a wedding date which was still being contested thanks to his due date and undecided premier of his movie and Jongyun’s new schedule once filming began for him. Other than that, wedding preparations were also demanding a lot of attention from him as he had been busy preparing the guests list, choosing a wedding hall and the food for the occasion. Some help from Jongyun would have been great if he wasn’t so busy preparing for his own film. He had left everything up to Jaejoong claiming that he trusted Jaejoong’s choice and wouldn’t mind any way the wedding turned out as long as they got married. But the wedding hadn’t been the only thing that had been keeping Jaejoong busy, the arrival of the baby was a constant worry. He had to get all the baby gear ready such as a crib, clothes, diapers, bottles and food. The lists were endless. Thankfully Jongyun and him had decided to build the crib together while his family who was experienced with children helped him with the baby supplies.
Jaejoong had taken Changmin’s advice and remembered having a long talk with Jongyun where they talked about everything from being together to having commitment to having a wedding. Jongyun had stopped distancing himself since then but things were never just the same. Jongyun had become busier with work but at least he showed concern for Jaejoong and their relationship.
Once the 8th month rolled around, Jaejoong had decided to wind down a little. He decided he needed a break. So he found himself in Yoochun’s apartment who was getting ready to make his solo debut while Jongyun had gone overseas for a weekend’s trip.
“Yoochun-ah, I’m going to move this keyboard over there so we make space for the mixing console here alright?” Jaejoong called out. Yoochun had been arranging his music room to make it more conducive to make better music.
“Jaejoong-hyung, put that down immediately!” Yoochun scolded. “You’re not supposed to carrying heavy objects at this stage at all!”
“I can handle it, Yoochun-ah.” Jaejoong said but Yoochun made him stop anyway. As his pregnancy had progressed, people had started treating him as though he was porcelain doll which would break upon touching. Honestly, he had gotten rather irritated with them but it was the only way he could appease them. Jaejoong caressed his baby bump which was huge at this point. His little baby had been kicking up a storm in there for the past few days. Jaejoong had decided not to find out the gender of the baby when the doctor told him that he could tell them by the 5th month. Jongyun had wanted to know because he thought it would be more practicable since they had to start buying things for the baby but Jaejoong had disagreed and said he wanted a surprise.
“Hyung! Can you help me with this lyric? I can’t find the words I want to use.” Junsu came in holding a piece of paper, scratching his head cutely.
“Go help him with that and leave the shifting of furniture to me.” Yoochun said as he steered Jaejoong towards Junsu instead. Yoochun knew that Jaejoong was getting agitated since he was banned from doing so many things and would start being crabby if he was given nothing to do.
“Come Junsu-yah.” Jaejoong said as he led them out to the veranda of Yoochun’s house.
The sun was about to set as the two stood in the disappearing sunglight enjoying the cool evening breeze ruffling their hair. It was rare they got peaceful moments like these in their hectic lives.
“Let me see that, Junsu-yah.” Jaejoong said as Junsu passed him the paper. Jaejoong rubbed his belly, not only was his baby having a soccer league down there but he had been experiencing braxton hicks contractions lately. He remembered he had gotten scared and thought he was going through yet another miscarriage when he had first started experiencing them, startling both himself and Jongyun. They had rushed to the hospital but the doctor had told them that they had nothing to worry about as they were pains getting Jaejoong ready for the actual birth.
“Are you okay hyung?” Junsu asked, concerned when he had Jaejoong let out a subconscious grunt at the ache.
“Oh, it’s nothing, Su.” Jaejoong comforted his younger friend who was more like his younger brother. Junsu eyed him once more before turning his head out towards the breeze.
Jaejoong looked through the lyrics again, playing the melody in his head. Usually, he wouldn’t have any problems coming up with lyrics but with the pain he had been experiencing for the past few days, his attention was often directed towards it and he concern for his baby instead of the task at hand.
“Junsu, I will thinking that maybe we could-” Jaejoong had turned to Junsu to explain to him about changes in the lyrics when he was cut off by his own yelp of surprise.
“Hyung! What’s wrong?!” Junsu exclaimed as he looked up and down Jaejoong for any further signs of distress.
“I think my water just broke…”
← back |
next →