Fic: Change 7/?
Title: Change 7/?
Pairings: Yunjae with a side of OCJae
Summary: Who knew that Jaejoong would be building a family out of a fling and who knew that his past will come back to haunt him. Jaejoong finds himself in a situation whereby a film contract is on his hand, he has JYJ members, company and family to please and oh, not forgetting a baby is on its way. Now throw in his ex-bandmates into the concoction and you've got a rollercoaster ride ready.
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Canon with a dash of AU! Mpreg!
Disclaimer: TVXQ/JYJ members belong to themselves.
“Yoochun, step on it!” Yunho yelled from the backseat while Yoochun took hold of the steering wheel. Lying across the backseat with his head in Yunho’s lap, Jaejoong was still groaning in pain without leaving his hold on his baby bump. Tears leaked out of his eyes at the implications. He did not want to lose this baby. It would kill him if he did.
“You’re gonna be fine, Jae.” Yunho reassured as he stroked his cast mate’s hair while his other hand never left Jaejoong’s. “We’ll reach the hospital in no time.”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho with wet eyes and Yunho wished he could remove all that pain in them. He lifted their linked hands and planted a chaste kiss on Jaejoong’s hand. “Everything’s gonna be alright…”
--
Yunho had been pacing up and down the corridor of the hospital for the past hour as the doctors did their jobs. Yoochun came back to the holding area with two cups of coffee in his hands.
“You should really stop doing that.” He stated as he passed one of the coffees to his ex-leader. Yunho was driving him crazy and dizzy with all the pacing he was doing. Yunho sighed and agreed. His pacing wasn’t going to make the process any faster and he would only wear himself out.
“Did you manage to get hold of Jongyun?” Yunho asked Yoochun who had Jongyun’s contact in his phone. This felt like déjà vu. He remembered just some time ago he was bringing Jaejoong to this very hospital when he had fainted on set and today he was doing the same just that this time things were more serious. He knew Jaejoong would request for Jongyun upon waking so Yunho had wasted no time and asked Yoochun to contact Jaejoong’s fiancé. Even though it pained him to know that the only person Jaejoong wanted in a situation like this was Jongyun instead of him, he wanted to do anything that would make Jaejoong feel better.
Yoochun shook his head in negative. “His phone is turned off.” Yunho sighed. History was once again repeating itself. Jongyun was unreachable the other time as well. He wondered what would have happened if no one was around and Jaejoong wasn’t able to get hold of Jongyun in such a dire time of need. Yunho shook his head, it was no point thinking of unfortunate situations like that.
A while later, a doctor stepped out of Jaejoong’s room with grim expression on his face as he looked around the room for the people that brought Jaejoong in. Yunho and Yoochun discarded their coffee cups and rushed up to him.
“Are you Kim Jaejoong-shi’s husband?” the doctor assumed it was Yunho who was standing directly in front of the doctor instead of Yoochun who stood further back.
“No…a friend.” Yunho disagreed but rather reluctantly. Yoochun used this opportunity to see how his ex-leader reacted to the doctor’s question. The doctor whose name tag read Dr. Lee nodded as he looked back at the clipboard he was holding.
“Well, thank you for bringing Jaejoong-shi in as soon as possible. Any later and we would not have been able to stabilize the bleeding.” Dr. Lee explained as Yunho and Yoochun visibly sagged a little, feeling a little relieved at the fact that at least the bleeding had stopped.
“So Jaejoong and the baby are going to be alright?” Yoochun asked.
“It’s not so simple.” Dr. Lee turned spoke to Yoochun. “There are two reasons why Jaejoong-shi was going through pain and blood loss; firstly his birth canal was starting to form and secondly his body was trying to expel the pregnancy tissue meaning Jaejoong-shi almost had a miscarriage.”
“Almost had a miscarriage?!” Yunho’s voice rose as he stepped closer to the doctor. “But why? Was he going through too much stress?”
“That could be one of the factors.” The doctor nodded but didn’t bat an eyelash at Yunho’s anxiousness, he was used to such reactions. “But it is not the main cause which is Jaejoong-shi’s age. You see, female and male pregnancies are very different. For a woman, 28 years might be the prime time to have a child but for a male, the age of 28 is considered late. Due to Jaejoong shi’s age, his womb is weak which means that as the baby continues to grow, the chances of miscarriage will become higher. So currently Jaejoong-shi has two options in his hands”
“What are the options, Dr. Lee?” Yunho asked after the two had keenly listened to the doctor’s explanation.
“Either he terminates this pregnancy now so that he can go on a medication course to make his womb stronger for child bearing or he can choose to carry the baby to term but the chances of miscarriage will be 80% and if he miscarries, complications may arise and he may not be able to conceive again.” Dr. Lee explained.
“Kim Jaejoong-shi is still asleep at the moment.” He continued. “I’m sure you will let him know his options and let him discuss his choices with his partner.” With that Dr. Lee took his leave as he had other patients to attend to.
“Jae-hyung is not going to take this well.” Yoochun sighed and looked at Yunho who was worrying himself on how to break this news to his ex-boyfriend.
--
Jaejoong opened his eyes blearily. His mouth felt dry and his body felt as through a truck had run over him. He looked around and found himself in the very hospital he had been brought to just sometime back. Should this be something he should be getting used to?
He tried sitting up but not before making sure his baby bump was still there. Upon feeling it, relief flooded Jaejoong. At least he didn’t lose his baby even if he felt like crap at the moment.
“Yunho…?” Jaejoong remembered it was Yunho who had immediately scooped him up into his arms once he had seen Jaejoong’s frightened face.
“Jaejoong?” Yunho, who had been sitting next to the hospital bed with his head hanging low, immediately stood up and rushed over to Jaejoong’s side who was struggling to sit up.
Yunho helped Jaejoong sit up, making sure he didn’t hurt himself while doing so considering the medical equipment attached to him. Once Jaejoong was in upright position, he threw his arms Yunho’s waist.
“Thank you.” He muttered. Yunho returned the hug with a smile just glad that Jaejoong was alright and even slightly happy that the first person Jaejoong sort for was him.
Just as they separated from the hug, the room door was thrown open and a flustered Jongyun entered the room. Once he noticed the number of missed calls from Yoochun, he had immediately called back and asked what had happened. Yoochun retold the entire incident about Jaejoong having cramps and starting to bleed. Afterwhich, Jongyun had simply asked for the hospital name and reached the hospital in record time.
“Babe!” He came tumbling forward towards Jaejoong and took him into his arms instantly. Yunho hesitantly took a few steps back but he couldn’t help the bitter feelings overcome him as he saw the two lovers embrace. However, this was probably the worst side of Jongyun he had seen. Clothes unkept, hair messy and uncontrollable emotions. At least Yunho knew Jongyun cared.
“Are you okay?” Jongyun looked up and down Jaejoong’s frame and finally at his midsection where the bump was visible through the covers.
Just as he had asked that question, someone who was certified to answer the question came through the doors as well. Dr. Lee holding his clipboard walked towards Jaejoong while his assistant followed him around with a medical tray in her hands.
“How are you feeling Jaejoong-shi?” Dr. Lee looked over at his patient.
“Much better, thank you.” Jaejoong replied as Jongyun took his hand and sat next to him on the bed.
“You’re his partner, I assume?” Dr. Lee asked Jongyun, hoping that he didn’t get it wrong this time.
“Yes, Lee Jongyun, his fiancé.” Jongyun introduced himself. Dr. Lee nodded as he flipped a page on his clipboard.
“I want to make sure that the bleeding has ceased completely.” Dr. Lee explained his presence as he motioned to the nurse to do her duty.
The nurse went over to the foot of the bed and muttered a sorry as she removed the covers off Jaejoong. It was then Jaejoong realized that he was decked out in a hospital gown as opposed to the set clothes he was brought in. The nurse requested Jaejoong to part his legs so that she could replace the dressing between his legs with a fresh one. Jaejoong squirmed as he felt foreign hands at his nether regions but Jongyun assured him by squeezing his hand that he had kept holding. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee had started to explain the reason behind what had happened and the options that Jaejoong and Jongyun could consider.
The nurse signaled to the doctor after she was done and took her leave. “Alright Jaejoong-shi, it seems like the bleeding has stopped but we will keep you here to be monitored until tonight. Once you have discussed the options, you may let your regular gynaecologist know.” With that Dr. Lee also left the room.
--
Jaejoong had been silent the entire duration after Dr. Lee had left and up until now. The most he had requested for was some lunch, a constant supply of water and 2 trips to the washroom. The three other males in the room - Jongyun, Yunho and Yoochun had adhered to all his requests. Despite that, Jaejoong refused to speak.
“Darling, please talk to me,” Jongyun pleaded while Jaejoong sat sullenly on his bed. “We need to talk about our next course of action. We cannot sit around and delay our choice.”
“What do you think we should do?” Jaejoong finally spoke. He had been thinking about the implications each choice will bring but his brain was still in a haze. He couldn’t decide but all he knew was that he wanted a baby really bad. He wanted to lean on Jongyun, trust him in making the decision because he knew Jongyun would think logically and put their interests as a family first.
“Well…” Jongyun started. He had also thought about it and it hadn’t taken him long to come up with a decision. “Considering the risks of carrying this baby to term, the fact that if you miscarry, you may not be able to have a baby again, I think it’s safer to stop here and try again later.”
“What!” Yunho stood up from his seat. “You want Jae to terminate this pregnancy?”
“Yunho-shi, please don’t raise your voice.” Jongyun said calmly. “I’m thinking of the long term prospect here. I rather wait to have a baby with Jaejoong than have none with him at all. Plus, by then, we would be married and the child will not be born out of wedlock.”
Yunho’s jaw clenched. He did not want to hear about them getting married. Jongyun might be Jaejoong’s fiancé but he had no right to make decisions for Jaejoong. Yunho knew how much Jaejoong wanted this baby and he would be devastated if he lost the little one.
“Jae, you still have a 20% chance of giving birth to this baby without any complications, please think about that.” Yunho turned to Jaejoong instead of arguing with Jongyun. Yunho didn’t know why he was fighting so hard for a baby that wasn’t even his. All he cared about right now was what Jaejoong was going through and how distraught he would be if they removed the baby from him.
“I agree with Jongyun, Yunho.” Jaejoong mumbled but he wasn’t looking at any of them. He continued to holding onto his unborn child whilst staring into the empty space in front of him.
“What!” It was not Yunho who exclaimed this time. It was his best friend. “You’re going to let go of an innocent life while knowing there was a chance, a slim chance, that it could have survived?”
It felt like Yoochun had been launched back 4 months in time as he could still clearly remember convincing Jaejoong not to abort the child that they were currently fighting over. He couldn’t believe Jaejoong had been swayed by Jongyun’s words once again.
Jaejoong remained silent on the matter while Yoochun continued to fume over the fact that Jaejoong was ready to give up on this child once again. He huffed and left the room by slamming the door behind.
“Jaejoong…” Desperation was sinking into Yunho’s voice. “Please think about it again.”
The nurse came through the door again but this time she was accompanied by Dr. Choi, Jaejoong’s regular doctor.
“Hello, Jaejoong, how are you doing?” the doctor whom Jaejoong had become pretty close to over the span of few months asked. Jaejoong nodded at the doctor as no words were forming in his head right now.
“I will give you a general check-up before I can discharge you.” He said. “Also, you can inform me about you choice if you have decided already otherwise you can do so after a few days.”
“Actually, Dr. Choi, we have decided already.” Jongyun said as he rose from his seat next to Jaejoong. Yunho stood up as well, ready to prevent Jongyun from proceeding but Jaejoong grabbed his arm and made him sit back down.
--
Jongyun guided Jaejoong to the sofa once they reached home. Jaejoong sat down numbly but his hand had not left his bump ever since he had woken up at the hospital. Jongyun wandered around the house, tidying things up a little.
“Jae, what do you want for dinner? I’m ordering in.” Jongyun said as he got the stash of delivery pamphlets. “Also, here is the appointment letter with Dr. Choi. It’s scheduled in 2 weeks’ time.”
Jaejoong continued to sit emotionlessly even as Jongyun gave him the appointment letter which scheduled the removal of the baby. He didn’t bother replying to Jongyun about dinner because he did feel not hungry at all. In fact, he did not feel anything but emptiness inside of him.
“Jae…” Jongyun sighed and left the pamphlets on the table in front. He sat down next to Jaejoong and drew him closer. The moment Jaejoong’s head had lay across Jongyun’s chest, tears finally started to spill from those beautiful eyes and sobs escaped his mouth. It wasn’t long before Jaejoong was hysteric crying mess. And Jongyun could not do anything to console his fiancé.
--
The two weeks passed by as a blur. Most of the time, Jaejoong was dedicated to work while rest of the time was spent talking to his bump - telling it how much Jaejoong would miss it after it’s gone. It was heart breaking to witness that.
The day came quick enough and Jaejoong had taken leave from work to get the procedure done. He was said to recover a couple of days after so that he could go back to finishing the movie.
“Hey, remember to swing by Dr. Choi’s office at 2pm alright?” Jaejoong told Jongyun who had a meeting to attend early that morning.
“Wait.” Jongyun paused what he was doing. “The appointment is today?”
“Yeah!” Jaejoong exclaimed. “Did you forget?”
“Fuck!” Jongyun cursed. “I’m meeting Moonhong-shi for lunch. I totally forgot about the appointment.”
Jaejoong frowned at his fiancé. How could he have forgotten something as important as this?
“I will cancel with him.” Jongyun said as he took out his phone.
“It’s okay, Jongyun.” Jaejoong said as he took the handphone away from him. “I will go with someone else.”
Jongyun stared at Jaejoong for a while. “Are you sure? I would have come but this is actually quite important.”
“I understand.” Jaejoong said. “Go ahead. Yoochun will probably go with me.”
“I’m so sorry babe.” Jongyun said and brought Jaejoong into his embrace, planting a kiss atop of his head. “I’ll pick you up afterwards okay?”
Jaejoong nodded as Jongyun picked up his phone and wallet and was ready to head out of the door.
Jaejoong was disappointed that Jongyun wouldn’t be there for him. In fact, he had lied to Jongyun when he had said that Yoochun would go with him instead as Yoochun hadn’t spoken to him since his outburst at the hospital. Jaejoong had thought of asking one of his family members but he hadn’t even told them that he was going to terminate his pregnancy. So they were out of the question. Next was Junsu but he was away in Australia for his solo concert. Finally it had come down to Yunho whom Jaejoong has come to trust considering he had been through 2 emergencies with him.
“Hello?” Yunho’s voice came through the phone.
“Hey, Yun, are you busy later?” Jaejoong asked.
“Yeah, well, I’m on set shooting today. Why?” Yunho questioned.
“Oh, nothing, was just wandering if you were free.” Jaejoong explained. “I needed someone to come along for my termination appointment today.”
“Jongyun isn’t going?” Yunho asked.
“He’s busy.” Jaejoong replied.
“Okay, you know what, I will reschedule today’s shoot. Just tell me the time and venue.” And with that Yunho decided to follow Jaejoong to his appointment.
--
Yunho held Jaejoong’s hand as they waited for Dr. Choi to come into the room and explain how the procedure would happen. Yunho looked at Jaejoong for any sign of being coerced into doing this. He knew how much Jaejoong wanted a baby but he didn’t know why he was ready to end this pregnancy. But Jaejoong just sat still looking expressionless.
“Good afternoon, Jaejoong-shi.” Dr. Choi stepped into the room and greeted his patient. “And…?”
“Jung Yunho.” Yunho introduced himself. The doctor nodded and turned back to the medical file he was holding.
“Alright. Seems like all your tests turned out okay. We can proceed with this then.” Dr. Choi said. “The procedure will be about half an hour long. Basically what will happen is that we’ll have to manually dilate your birth channel so that we can insert a tube to suck up all the pregnancy tissue. Once I have ensured that there is no more tissue left, we’ll stitch you up and you’d be good to go. Any questions?”
Both Yunho and Dr. Choi turned to look at Jaejoong who just sat there motionless and staring blankly at the chart Dr. Choi was using to explain the procedure.
“I can’t do this.” He muttered slowly but it was loud enough for other two males to catch. “I don’t wanna do this.”
Dr. Choi looked at two people in his clinic and cleared his throat. “I’ll give you two some space.” He said as he politely excused himself out of the room.
“I want his baby, Yunho.” Jaejoong pleaded. “I want it so bad.”
“You don’t have to do this, Jae.” Yunho got up from his seat and crouched in front of his friend, taking both his hands into his own.
Jaejoong couldn’t take it anymore. When Dr. Choi had started explaining how he would be removing the baby, it became all too real that he was going to lose his baby. He didn’t want to do that. He can’t do that. Not to himself, not to an innocent life.
“I want to get out of here.” Jaejoong begged. He couldn’t stand another moment in that room, knowing that the medical equipment lying around him was meant to take his child away from.
“Jaejoong, look at me.” Yunho commanded. “You need to calm down and I’ll get us out of here.”
Yunho had explained the situation to Dr. Choi while Jaejoong continued sitting on the chair, on a verge of a breakdown. Dr. Choi had already seen this coming and agreed to cancel their appointment. He knew his patient well enough. Instead he told Yunho take Jaejoong back home and take good care of him. If anything happens, he would still be in his clinic.
--
Yunho and Jaejoong left the doctor’s office but instead of driving Jaejoong home, Yunho ended up driving them to the Han River. It had become their sanctuary while they had been dating. They knew all the areas which were least frequented so that they would not be spotted by anyone. So the two stepped out of the car and simply stood in front of the abyss of water.
“I can’t give up this baby.” Jaejoong started but he continued looking out towards the river. “It is the only thing I want in life right now. The only thing.”
“What made you change your mind?” Yunho was curious. Jaejoong had so easily agreed with Jongyun’s decision so why did he change his mind out of a sudden?
“It finally hit me that I was going to lose the baby. My baby. And that thought made me want to kill myself as well. I couldn’t live with that, you know? Knowing that there was a chance I could have this baby but I chose not to. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.” Jaejoong explained.
“I thought I was been smart by following Jongyun’s logical reasoning but truly, I was an idiot who has become too dependent on others to reason for himself.” Jaejoong continued and for the first time since they had left the clinic, Yunho saw Jaejoong shed a tear.
“I’m so stupid.” Jaejoong wallowed in self-pity. Finally the dam broke and tears started flowing freely. Yunho hadn’t said anything once Jaejoong had started speaking. Instead, his actions spoke louder. He took Jaejoong by the arm and crushed him into a hug, rubbing his back in comfort.
“You’re not stupid, Kim Jaejoong.” Yunho declared. “You’re not stupid.”
Jaejoong continued to sob loudly into Yunho’s chest still berating himself for the mistake he almost made. But being in Yunho’s arms brought him comfort like no other could. It reminded him of the old days again. Every time something went wrong, Yunho would always be there for him, lending a shoulder - or a chest in this case - to cry on. But when did it go so wrong that they had found themselves going their separate paths, only to meet again under such circumstances where he was getting married to another yet Yunho still played such a major role in his life. Where did it all go wrong…?
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Pairings: Yunjae with a side of OCJae
Summary: Who knew that Jaejoong would be building a family out of a fling and who knew that his past will come back to haunt him. Jaejoong finds himself in a situation whereby a film contract is on his hand, he has JYJ members, company and family to please and oh, not forgetting a baby is on its way. Now throw in his ex-bandmates into the concoction and you've got a rollercoaster ride ready.
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Canon with a dash of AU! Mpreg!
Disclaimer: TVXQ/JYJ members belong to themselves.
“Yoochun, step on it!” Yunho yelled from the backseat while Yoochun took hold of the steering wheel. Lying across the backseat with his head in Yunho’s lap, Jaejoong was still groaning in pain without leaving his hold on his baby bump. Tears leaked out of his eyes at the implications. He did not want to lose this baby. It would kill him if he did.
“You’re gonna be fine, Jae.” Yunho reassured as he stroked his cast mate’s hair while his other hand never left Jaejoong’s. “We’ll reach the hospital in no time.”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho with wet eyes and Yunho wished he could remove all that pain in them. He lifted their linked hands and planted a chaste kiss on Jaejoong’s hand. “Everything’s gonna be alright…”
--
Yunho had been pacing up and down the corridor of the hospital for the past hour as the doctors did their jobs. Yoochun came back to the holding area with two cups of coffee in his hands.
“You should really stop doing that.” He stated as he passed one of the coffees to his ex-leader. Yunho was driving him crazy and dizzy with all the pacing he was doing. Yunho sighed and agreed. His pacing wasn’t going to make the process any faster and he would only wear himself out.
“Did you manage to get hold of Jongyun?” Yunho asked Yoochun who had Jongyun’s contact in his phone. This felt like déjà vu. He remembered just some time ago he was bringing Jaejoong to this very hospital when he had fainted on set and today he was doing the same just that this time things were more serious. He knew Jaejoong would request for Jongyun upon waking so Yunho had wasted no time and asked Yoochun to contact Jaejoong’s fiancé. Even though it pained him to know that the only person Jaejoong wanted in a situation like this was Jongyun instead of him, he wanted to do anything that would make Jaejoong feel better.
Yoochun shook his head in negative. “His phone is turned off.” Yunho sighed. History was once again repeating itself. Jongyun was unreachable the other time as well. He wondered what would have happened if no one was around and Jaejoong wasn’t able to get hold of Jongyun in such a dire time of need. Yunho shook his head, it was no point thinking of unfortunate situations like that.
A while later, a doctor stepped out of Jaejoong’s room with grim expression on his face as he looked around the room for the people that brought Jaejoong in. Yunho and Yoochun discarded their coffee cups and rushed up to him.
“Are you Kim Jaejoong-shi’s husband?” the doctor assumed it was Yunho who was standing directly in front of the doctor instead of Yoochun who stood further back.
“No…a friend.” Yunho disagreed but rather reluctantly. Yoochun used this opportunity to see how his ex-leader reacted to the doctor’s question. The doctor whose name tag read Dr. Lee nodded as he looked back at the clipboard he was holding.
“Well, thank you for bringing Jaejoong-shi in as soon as possible. Any later and we would not have been able to stabilize the bleeding.” Dr. Lee explained as Yunho and Yoochun visibly sagged a little, feeling a little relieved at the fact that at least the bleeding had stopped.
“So Jaejoong and the baby are going to be alright?” Yoochun asked.
“It’s not so simple.” Dr. Lee turned spoke to Yoochun. “There are two reasons why Jaejoong-shi was going through pain and blood loss; firstly his birth canal was starting to form and secondly his body was trying to expel the pregnancy tissue meaning Jaejoong-shi almost had a miscarriage.”
“Almost had a miscarriage?!” Yunho’s voice rose as he stepped closer to the doctor. “But why? Was he going through too much stress?”
“That could be one of the factors.” The doctor nodded but didn’t bat an eyelash at Yunho’s anxiousness, he was used to such reactions. “But it is not the main cause which is Jaejoong-shi’s age. You see, female and male pregnancies are very different. For a woman, 28 years might be the prime time to have a child but for a male, the age of 28 is considered late. Due to Jaejoong shi’s age, his womb is weak which means that as the baby continues to grow, the chances of miscarriage will become higher. So currently Jaejoong-shi has two options in his hands”
“What are the options, Dr. Lee?” Yunho asked after the two had keenly listened to the doctor’s explanation.
“Either he terminates this pregnancy now so that he can go on a medication course to make his womb stronger for child bearing or he can choose to carry the baby to term but the chances of miscarriage will be 80% and if he miscarries, complications may arise and he may not be able to conceive again.” Dr. Lee explained.
“Kim Jaejoong-shi is still asleep at the moment.” He continued. “I’m sure you will let him know his options and let him discuss his choices with his partner.” With that Dr. Lee took his leave as he had other patients to attend to.
“Jae-hyung is not going to take this well.” Yoochun sighed and looked at Yunho who was worrying himself on how to break this news to his ex-boyfriend.
--
Jaejoong opened his eyes blearily. His mouth felt dry and his body felt as through a truck had run over him. He looked around and found himself in the very hospital he had been brought to just sometime back. Should this be something he should be getting used to?
He tried sitting up but not before making sure his baby bump was still there. Upon feeling it, relief flooded Jaejoong. At least he didn’t lose his baby even if he felt like crap at the moment.
“Yunho…?” Jaejoong remembered it was Yunho who had immediately scooped him up into his arms once he had seen Jaejoong’s frightened face.
“Jaejoong?” Yunho, who had been sitting next to the hospital bed with his head hanging low, immediately stood up and rushed over to Jaejoong’s side who was struggling to sit up.
Yunho helped Jaejoong sit up, making sure he didn’t hurt himself while doing so considering the medical equipment attached to him. Once Jaejoong was in upright position, he threw his arms Yunho’s waist.
“Thank you.” He muttered. Yunho returned the hug with a smile just glad that Jaejoong was alright and even slightly happy that the first person Jaejoong sort for was him.
Just as they separated from the hug, the room door was thrown open and a flustered Jongyun entered the room. Once he noticed the number of missed calls from Yoochun, he had immediately called back and asked what had happened. Yoochun retold the entire incident about Jaejoong having cramps and starting to bleed. Afterwhich, Jongyun had simply asked for the hospital name and reached the hospital in record time.
“Babe!” He came tumbling forward towards Jaejoong and took him into his arms instantly. Yunho hesitantly took a few steps back but he couldn’t help the bitter feelings overcome him as he saw the two lovers embrace. However, this was probably the worst side of Jongyun he had seen. Clothes unkept, hair messy and uncontrollable emotions. At least Yunho knew Jongyun cared.
“Are you okay?” Jongyun looked up and down Jaejoong’s frame and finally at his midsection where the bump was visible through the covers.
Just as he had asked that question, someone who was certified to answer the question came through the doors as well. Dr. Lee holding his clipboard walked towards Jaejoong while his assistant followed him around with a medical tray in her hands.
“How are you feeling Jaejoong-shi?” Dr. Lee looked over at his patient.
“Much better, thank you.” Jaejoong replied as Jongyun took his hand and sat next to him on the bed.
“You’re his partner, I assume?” Dr. Lee asked Jongyun, hoping that he didn’t get it wrong this time.
“Yes, Lee Jongyun, his fiancé.” Jongyun introduced himself. Dr. Lee nodded as he flipped a page on his clipboard.
“I want to make sure that the bleeding has ceased completely.” Dr. Lee explained his presence as he motioned to the nurse to do her duty.
The nurse went over to the foot of the bed and muttered a sorry as she removed the covers off Jaejoong. It was then Jaejoong realized that he was decked out in a hospital gown as opposed to the set clothes he was brought in. The nurse requested Jaejoong to part his legs so that she could replace the dressing between his legs with a fresh one. Jaejoong squirmed as he felt foreign hands at his nether regions but Jongyun assured him by squeezing his hand that he had kept holding. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee had started to explain the reason behind what had happened and the options that Jaejoong and Jongyun could consider.
The nurse signaled to the doctor after she was done and took her leave. “Alright Jaejoong-shi, it seems like the bleeding has stopped but we will keep you here to be monitored until tonight. Once you have discussed the options, you may let your regular gynaecologist know.” With that Dr. Lee also left the room.
--
Jaejoong had been silent the entire duration after Dr. Lee had left and up until now. The most he had requested for was some lunch, a constant supply of water and 2 trips to the washroom. The three other males in the room - Jongyun, Yunho and Yoochun had adhered to all his requests. Despite that, Jaejoong refused to speak.
“Darling, please talk to me,” Jongyun pleaded while Jaejoong sat sullenly on his bed. “We need to talk about our next course of action. We cannot sit around and delay our choice.”
“What do you think we should do?” Jaejoong finally spoke. He had been thinking about the implications each choice will bring but his brain was still in a haze. He couldn’t decide but all he knew was that he wanted a baby really bad. He wanted to lean on Jongyun, trust him in making the decision because he knew Jongyun would think logically and put their interests as a family first.
“Well…” Jongyun started. He had also thought about it and it hadn’t taken him long to come up with a decision. “Considering the risks of carrying this baby to term, the fact that if you miscarry, you may not be able to have a baby again, I think it’s safer to stop here and try again later.”
“What!” Yunho stood up from his seat. “You want Jae to terminate this pregnancy?”
“Yunho-shi, please don’t raise your voice.” Jongyun said calmly. “I’m thinking of the long term prospect here. I rather wait to have a baby with Jaejoong than have none with him at all. Plus, by then, we would be married and the child will not be born out of wedlock.”
Yunho’s jaw clenched. He did not want to hear about them getting married. Jongyun might be Jaejoong’s fiancé but he had no right to make decisions for Jaejoong. Yunho knew how much Jaejoong wanted this baby and he would be devastated if he lost the little one.
“Jae, you still have a 20% chance of giving birth to this baby without any complications, please think about that.” Yunho turned to Jaejoong instead of arguing with Jongyun. Yunho didn’t know why he was fighting so hard for a baby that wasn’t even his. All he cared about right now was what Jaejoong was going through and how distraught he would be if they removed the baby from him.
“I agree with Jongyun, Yunho.” Jaejoong mumbled but he wasn’t looking at any of them. He continued to holding onto his unborn child whilst staring into the empty space in front of him.
“What!” It was not Yunho who exclaimed this time. It was his best friend. “You’re going to let go of an innocent life while knowing there was a chance, a slim chance, that it could have survived?”
It felt like Yoochun had been launched back 4 months in time as he could still clearly remember convincing Jaejoong not to abort the child that they were currently fighting over. He couldn’t believe Jaejoong had been swayed by Jongyun’s words once again.
Jaejoong remained silent on the matter while Yoochun continued to fume over the fact that Jaejoong was ready to give up on this child once again. He huffed and left the room by slamming the door behind.
“Jaejoong…” Desperation was sinking into Yunho’s voice. “Please think about it again.”
The nurse came through the door again but this time she was accompanied by Dr. Choi, Jaejoong’s regular doctor.
“Hello, Jaejoong, how are you doing?” the doctor whom Jaejoong had become pretty close to over the span of few months asked. Jaejoong nodded at the doctor as no words were forming in his head right now.
“I will give you a general check-up before I can discharge you.” He said. “Also, you can inform me about you choice if you have decided already otherwise you can do so after a few days.”
“Actually, Dr. Choi, we have decided already.” Jongyun said as he rose from his seat next to Jaejoong. Yunho stood up as well, ready to prevent Jongyun from proceeding but Jaejoong grabbed his arm and made him sit back down.
--
Jongyun guided Jaejoong to the sofa once they reached home. Jaejoong sat down numbly but his hand had not left his bump ever since he had woken up at the hospital. Jongyun wandered around the house, tidying things up a little.
“Jae, what do you want for dinner? I’m ordering in.” Jongyun said as he got the stash of delivery pamphlets. “Also, here is the appointment letter with Dr. Choi. It’s scheduled in 2 weeks’ time.”
Jaejoong continued to sit emotionlessly even as Jongyun gave him the appointment letter which scheduled the removal of the baby. He didn’t bother replying to Jongyun about dinner because he did feel not hungry at all. In fact, he did not feel anything but emptiness inside of him.
“Jae…” Jongyun sighed and left the pamphlets on the table in front. He sat down next to Jaejoong and drew him closer. The moment Jaejoong’s head had lay across Jongyun’s chest, tears finally started to spill from those beautiful eyes and sobs escaped his mouth. It wasn’t long before Jaejoong was hysteric crying mess. And Jongyun could not do anything to console his fiancé.
--
The two weeks passed by as a blur. Most of the time, Jaejoong was dedicated to work while rest of the time was spent talking to his bump - telling it how much Jaejoong would miss it after it’s gone. It was heart breaking to witness that.
The day came quick enough and Jaejoong had taken leave from work to get the procedure done. He was said to recover a couple of days after so that he could go back to finishing the movie.
“Hey, remember to swing by Dr. Choi’s office at 2pm alright?” Jaejoong told Jongyun who had a meeting to attend early that morning.
“Wait.” Jongyun paused what he was doing. “The appointment is today?”
“Yeah!” Jaejoong exclaimed. “Did you forget?”
“Fuck!” Jongyun cursed. “I’m meeting Moonhong-shi for lunch. I totally forgot about the appointment.”
Jaejoong frowned at his fiancé. How could he have forgotten something as important as this?
“I will cancel with him.” Jongyun said as he took out his phone.
“It’s okay, Jongyun.” Jaejoong said as he took the handphone away from him. “I will go with someone else.”
Jongyun stared at Jaejoong for a while. “Are you sure? I would have come but this is actually quite important.”
“I understand.” Jaejoong said. “Go ahead. Yoochun will probably go with me.”
“I’m so sorry babe.” Jongyun said and brought Jaejoong into his embrace, planting a kiss atop of his head. “I’ll pick you up afterwards okay?”
Jaejoong nodded as Jongyun picked up his phone and wallet and was ready to head out of the door.
Jaejoong was disappointed that Jongyun wouldn’t be there for him. In fact, he had lied to Jongyun when he had said that Yoochun would go with him instead as Yoochun hadn’t spoken to him since his outburst at the hospital. Jaejoong had thought of asking one of his family members but he hadn’t even told them that he was going to terminate his pregnancy. So they were out of the question. Next was Junsu but he was away in Australia for his solo concert. Finally it had come down to Yunho whom Jaejoong has come to trust considering he had been through 2 emergencies with him.
“Hello?” Yunho’s voice came through the phone.
“Hey, Yun, are you busy later?” Jaejoong asked.
“Yeah, well, I’m on set shooting today. Why?” Yunho questioned.
“Oh, nothing, was just wandering if you were free.” Jaejoong explained. “I needed someone to come along for my termination appointment today.”
“Jongyun isn’t going?” Yunho asked.
“He’s busy.” Jaejoong replied.
“Okay, you know what, I will reschedule today’s shoot. Just tell me the time and venue.” And with that Yunho decided to follow Jaejoong to his appointment.
--
Yunho held Jaejoong’s hand as they waited for Dr. Choi to come into the room and explain how the procedure would happen. Yunho looked at Jaejoong for any sign of being coerced into doing this. He knew how much Jaejoong wanted a baby but he didn’t know why he was ready to end this pregnancy. But Jaejoong just sat still looking expressionless.
“Good afternoon, Jaejoong-shi.” Dr. Choi stepped into the room and greeted his patient. “And…?”
“Jung Yunho.” Yunho introduced himself. The doctor nodded and turned back to the medical file he was holding.
“Alright. Seems like all your tests turned out okay. We can proceed with this then.” Dr. Choi said. “The procedure will be about half an hour long. Basically what will happen is that we’ll have to manually dilate your birth channel so that we can insert a tube to suck up all the pregnancy tissue. Once I have ensured that there is no more tissue left, we’ll stitch you up and you’d be good to go. Any questions?”
Both Yunho and Dr. Choi turned to look at Jaejoong who just sat there motionless and staring blankly at the chart Dr. Choi was using to explain the procedure.
“I can’t do this.” He muttered slowly but it was loud enough for other two males to catch. “I don’t wanna do this.”
Dr. Choi looked at two people in his clinic and cleared his throat. “I’ll give you two some space.” He said as he politely excused himself out of the room.
“I want his baby, Yunho.” Jaejoong pleaded. “I want it so bad.”
“You don’t have to do this, Jae.” Yunho got up from his seat and crouched in front of his friend, taking both his hands into his own.
Jaejoong couldn’t take it anymore. When Dr. Choi had started explaining how he would be removing the baby, it became all too real that he was going to lose his baby. He didn’t want to do that. He can’t do that. Not to himself, not to an innocent life.
“I want to get out of here.” Jaejoong begged. He couldn’t stand another moment in that room, knowing that the medical equipment lying around him was meant to take his child away from.
“Jaejoong, look at me.” Yunho commanded. “You need to calm down and I’ll get us out of here.”
Yunho had explained the situation to Dr. Choi while Jaejoong continued sitting on the chair, on a verge of a breakdown. Dr. Choi had already seen this coming and agreed to cancel their appointment. He knew his patient well enough. Instead he told Yunho take Jaejoong back home and take good care of him. If anything happens, he would still be in his clinic.
--
Yunho and Jaejoong left the doctor’s office but instead of driving Jaejoong home, Yunho ended up driving them to the Han River. It had become their sanctuary while they had been dating. They knew all the areas which were least frequented so that they would not be spotted by anyone. So the two stepped out of the car and simply stood in front of the abyss of water.
“I can’t give up this baby.” Jaejoong started but he continued looking out towards the river. “It is the only thing I want in life right now. The only thing.”
“What made you change your mind?” Yunho was curious. Jaejoong had so easily agreed with Jongyun’s decision so why did he change his mind out of a sudden?
“It finally hit me that I was going to lose the baby. My baby. And that thought made me want to kill myself as well. I couldn’t live with that, you know? Knowing that there was a chance I could have this baby but I chose not to. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.” Jaejoong explained.
“I thought I was been smart by following Jongyun’s logical reasoning but truly, I was an idiot who has become too dependent on others to reason for himself.” Jaejoong continued and for the first time since they had left the clinic, Yunho saw Jaejoong shed a tear.
“I’m so stupid.” Jaejoong wallowed in self-pity. Finally the dam broke and tears started flowing freely. Yunho hadn’t said anything once Jaejoong had started speaking. Instead, his actions spoke louder. He took Jaejoong by the arm and crushed him into a hug, rubbing his back in comfort.
“You’re not stupid, Kim Jaejoong.” Yunho declared. “You’re not stupid.”
Jaejoong continued to sob loudly into Yunho’s chest still berating himself for the mistake he almost made. But being in Yunho’s arms brought him comfort like no other could. It reminded him of the old days again. Every time something went wrong, Yunho would always be there for him, lending a shoulder - or a chest in this case - to cry on. But when did it go so wrong that they had found themselves going their separate paths, only to meet again under such circumstances where he was getting married to another yet Yunho still played such a major role in his life. Where did it all go wrong…?
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