Work is good, it keeps me busy, which is time spent un-stressed. It's good because it gets me money. It's good because it forces me to interact with humans. Hopefully I'll get some new friends because I like most of my co-workers. Down side, I'm very very exhausted ( Read more... )

It's almost mid-night and I can't sleep. I'm stressed and it's pretty bad. Over the course of the past week I've just been SO VERY VERY Stressed, Now I'm getting a stage 1 lesion on my skin! GREAT! another thing to stress about. It's all anticipatory stress. Things I know are coming up soon that I want to deal with NOW but can't. So I can't sleep ( Read more... )

So I thought about it. And I realized that I'm a very "walk the line" kind of person. Other than being gay, I don't break any social norms. I conform for the most part. And I like that. I just want a good steady job, money, a house, and good friends. That's all I want. I don't want to be special, I don't want to do crazy things, I just want to be ( Read more... )

I'm taking time to reflect on what I want out of life, who I am, what my values are, and what I want to become ( Read more... )

So I talked with my mom in the car again. Glad I did. Seems to do me good. After doing so, I think I've partially figured out why certain things in relationships stress me out. I bottle things up and not say certain things I want to, to spare the other persons feelings. Then I feel like things that bother me are completely out of my hands to change ( Read more... )

For all I might say or feel about my mother, In the end she always knows what is right. Some people, and some parents may think they always know what's right, but for every question, every worry, every random thought, My mother has an answer. Though to some it may sound bad, She can always take my stress and anxiety and panic, and make me ( Read more... )

Fuck my stupid anxiety problem, Fuck my need to be socially perfect, Fuck my need for stability, Fuck my need to know what the future holds, Fuck my need to not risk anything, Fuck my need to feel like I'm doing everything possible for my health ( Read more... )

So I'm thinking of going to therapy again, but I'm not sure if the Massachusetts universal health care (masshealth) Covers it or not, so I need to look into that I suppose. I just have such an unreasonable amount of anxiety over the smallest things all the time, and the future is always so scary and stress inducing. I really just want to go and get ( Read more... )

So today my mother was going to Connecticut to visit her sister for her birthday and I went along to visit my friend at trinity college. I hung with her for a couple hours and it was really nice because I hadn't seen her in forever and she's so sweet. After visiting her my mom picked my up and we did yard work for my aunt (she did it with us it was ( Read more... )

So after having a night to sleep and think on things, I feel pretty good actually. I've decided to dorm, whether or not I can get a single. I'm over worrying about the money, I don't give a crap about it. I think exercise really stabilizes my moods. This morning my mom and I went walking and now I feel really good and happy and collected. Though ( Read more... )