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mhmm
god, its been so long writing in this thing. I guess i dont have anywhere to go, or anyone to talk to anymore. I just feel so alone its driving me crazy.
Job hunting, yeah still sucks. why fuckin bother right? its really pointless right now anyways. I just want to get the fuck out of here, i dont want to be here anymore, i dont want to be ( Read more... ) -
save me vegas
Well, i made it to vegas safe and sound... so no worries for the people who actually read this. I dont even think anyone reads it. But i was really hoping that vegas would help me out. I still dont eat alot, i still puke from time to time, constant headaches, my heart hurts as well. It just feels the same. it feels like im at home, but just ( Read more... ) -
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happy new years everybody ( Read more... ) -
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merry christmas everyone.
Its just been a rollercoaster of a ride for me. Ive been going down, but yesterday i went up again. I always felt the same, no matter who im with or what im doing, but last night changed me alittle bit. Yeah, its been awhile, but we finally met again. We just talked and such and it was sooo nice to just see her. She is ( Read more... ) -
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Vegas on the 4th to visit my homeboy Matt. I wish i could stay longer but its all good, atleast im away from here. Its crazy how things are getting. I just try and smile all the time and people believe im happy or something. I believe im such a good actor. Even with all these pain, emotional and physical that im going through, i can still pull ( Read more... ) -
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ah ha ( Read more... ) -
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Its over, as soon as i posted my last journal entry she called. She said we shouldnt talk anymore, which i understand cuz shes miserable right now. I just wish i could do something about it, and she said she shouldnt talk. I guess by doing that, it should make her truly happy. I failed again in life, i made someone fail and i feel retarded. I ( Read more... ) -
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she told me she doesnt hate me. well thats a relief. but then again, she also just told me to stfu and dont talk to her if im giving her shit. I really didnt think i was, i wasnt being a total dick to her or anything. I guess im a liar or something, so shrug. I hate it when she swears at me, i hate it when shes mad at me, i just wish she could ( Read more... ) -
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I hate being yelled at by her. It just makes me more weaker. Shes hating me now, i could just tell. I just wanted to just vent it out i guess, so i went to her friend. She knows how i feel so i just told her everything. Maria later found out and was flipping out, saying it was too personal. I duno, yeah i know it was really personal, but i ( Read more... ) -
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So yeah, fuck this private stuff now. I got nothing to hide anymore. I really hope she threw away everything that we shared together, cuz it doesnt even mean anything anymore. Especially the engagement ring. We arent even talking right now. Hell i wish i could talk to her, but seems like she doesnt want to, or doesnt care or something.
People keep ( Read more... )