Isn’t the saying, three strikes and you’re out?
Well he’s perfect in my head. Everything about “us” was perfect in my head. Why the hell would I want to ruin that by actually talking to him? And that’s what kills me, in my heart I know, in my head I know that he’s not perfect, and I know I’m not perfect, and that’s what kills me, I’ll never really ( Read more... )

It’s hard to be anything but aloof.  It’s all I know.  It’s all I’ve ever been for so long.  I’ve accepted it as a major part of my character.  It’s so integral to me as a person, it’d be like trying to imagine Cindy Crawford without her mole.  The thing is I like being aloof.  And it’s so hard not to be aloof when I constantly find myself in ( Read more... )

This entire week has been a hope-filled one. This hope is infectious. Poisonous. It should come with a warning label. I am choking on it. I am drowning on it. I am loosing sleep over it.  I just want to be the girl of his dreams.

Have you ever seen and heard someone drop a grand piano from a tall building?

Well that’s a similar sound to the sound of me falling. I say again for those who think they misheard me: I FELL!
I FELL!
I FELL SO DAMN HARD, SO FAR, SO FAST! And I spent all of Sunday trying to get back up.
I fell, just like someone dropping a grand piano.

He had me from ( Read more... )

I am lost.  I am so very lost.  I’ve come so far, so fast, that now when I look back I don’t recognise any of the surroundings, and I’m left wondering how the hell it is that I came to this place, because this is certainly not where I want to be.  So what to do? Cut my losses? Backtrack and hope when I hit the path I want to be on, I actually ( Read more... )

It's almost summer, the weather is infinitely better, by turn shouldn't be life become infinitely better? Instead I'm still getting slammed, still wasting all my time there, still being forced to share space with fucking morons ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm so close and yet I'm so far.  I just have to convince myself to stick it out, I just have to put up with these people.  I just have to be even more patient than I have ever been.  I can do this.  I'm sure I can do this.  I have to do this.  I just wonder if it's worth it.  I mean what is my motivation? Say I don't get it, then I ( Read more... )

I want to believe that people don't do this on purpose, because I certainly don't.  I just dance.  I love to dance all my problems, everyone, everything away so that I can just dance.  I just look for the bass and I follow it.  I didn't mean for any of this to happen - and it was probably just one of those crazy nights that happen every once in a ( Read more... )

To message, or not to message - that is the question.
I like them well enough.  The connection was not like lightning striking but more like a subtle change in the wind.  No, it wasn't that at all.  In fact I have no idea what it was like the more I think abou it.  The more I think about it, the more my thoughts get lost.  And I was already lost to ( Read more... )

I wish this was a dream.

I wish I had dreamt this up.  Because I hate that feeling I get when I wake up the next morning and realise it wasn’t a dream.  I hate that dawning realisation that I let the opportunity slip me by, because I was too embarrassed, too stupid, too spineless, so driven by other people’s opinions instead of being so swept away ( Read more... )