Because I'm a Guy
 Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a ( Read more... )

The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women:

10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

(ATTENTION... if you don't get it, seek help fast :)

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN

That's right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Fall Schedule:
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103 ( Read more... )

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN ( Read more... )

Rules Men Wish Women Knew
1. If you think you are fat, you probably ar 1e.
Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
married women always ( Read more... )

Who Died the Worst Death?


Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven.
However, St. Peter has been informed that Heaven will only admit
33% of applicants today. The admissions standard: Who died the
worst death? So, St. Peter takes each of the three men aside in
turn and asks them about how ( Read more... )

ok uall i just ran tne blocks on park road, i know that aint much but i had t ostart running, and now i cant stop coughing, its the freakin cig's. so i have officially vowed that i will quit smoking, ill have a cigar once in awhile, but no more cig's and no more constant cigars. i know i have tried to quit in the past but now im serious because i ( Read more... )

intresting weekend...................drama = anger = sensless rage = broken friendships...........enough said...

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned ( Read more... )

ok well i havent updated in awhile, my last update wasnt really an update, but more of a "memorial" if u want to call it that, i have been sad ever since i heard the Pope passed away, i mean i know most of u'all arent catholic and dont belive in the pope, but i am and was raised a catholic so it was hard to hear. and even more depressing is that i ( Read more... )

In loving memory                                     1920-2005


( Read more... )