On being in pain

[babyslime]

Everything's been really up and down, and it's hard to sit down and want to write about it without either feeling like I'm putting on a happy face or whining endlessly. Curtis' promotion was awesome, but not at all what we were expecting. We talked about it for weeks prior to him accepting it, and went forward on the belief that the extra money he

Comments

[tori_laredo]

Your doctor trumps the secretary. Call again and keep asking to speak to someone else until you can get the shot right away. She can't just push it for 4 days because it's easier for her. Also, as your spouse, Curtis should be able to call on your behalf if you're unable.

[babyslime]

I wish I could, but they're not open on the weekend. :-/

[bicrim]

I am so sorry. I hope Curtis is able to arrange something better at work. I wish people were not so unkind to you about your disability, i just cant fathom not being understanding about pain like that. Is medical cannibus something that helps as an augmentation to the opiates for your condition?

[babyslime]

It has been suggested to me VERY frequently but I have yet to talk to my doctor "officially" about it.

[ekarpen]

I have neurogenic pain, and was taking tylenol, ibuprofen and percocet daily to keep it under moderate control. Low dose elavil (a TCA, but at much lower than anti-depressant dosing) plus tylenol or ibuprofen was better for the pain than that cocktail, but I had a terrible sun-sensitivity reaction. Other anti-depressant/anti-seizure combos helped with the pain, but utterly destroyed my ability to function - I was just a zombie who couldn't remember anything

[babyslime]

I have the same relationship with alcohol right now. Although we don't have the funds to buy a bit more than twice a month maximum with Curtis' tips so I don't exactly run the risk of being an alcoholic... but that thought is still there in the back of my mind because it's one of the only ways to not care as much about how much it hurts. And like you, when it doesn't hurt, suddenly I don't care so much.
And, like you, learning to be ok with using marijuana is a big hurdle to get over... despite being 100% pro medical marijuana, it's all that years and years and years of having it drilled into your head that you have to try to undo.

Thanks for this.

[arwyn]

I would definitely not want to try and get a part-time job in that situation. Looking for work is ridiculous enough even when you don't have children and chronic pain! Sounds like you're doing the best you can, given the circumstances.

[babyslime]

Thank you. <3

[arwyn]

Also, I don't have chronic pain, but I do get the worst menstrual cramps ever for two days a month and I totally understand how sometimes you *have* to take drugs in order to live your life. SO many people have suggested to me that it's all about what I eat or how much exercise I get and that I shouldn't have to take drugs, I clearly am just doing something else wrong and they have the answer for me. Yeah, nope, I've tried so many things and there are just two days where I have to take some naproxen in order to do anything. You're not a junkie and neither am I.

[babyslime]

And again, thank you. It helps to hear the stories/notes from others who "Get it". Even if you don't experience the same kind of thing - pain is pain - and people who experience pain to that degree (in their own lives: we all feel our limits differently) know what it means to have to choose between treating it and feeding the stigma your friends and family encourage, or going on in that agony and pleasing everyone else (sometimes, including yourself... because of how easily you buy into it).
Even though you KNOW it's total crap, sometimes it's hard not to give into that "if only you did x and y" narrative.

[arwyn]

The funny part is that I probably eat better than most people and I get a lot of exercise, so when people suggest those things to me I sometimes want to say to them, "Well, I guess if I got so much exercise that my body didn't have enough fat to even produce hormones and my periods stopped all together, that would certainly deal with the problem of the cramps..."

[babyslime]

You totally should say that.

[sweet_light]

Can Curtis not explain that the promotion/new schedule is having a severely negative impact on his family, and that he would like to go back to his previous position?

[babyslime]

No, he can't. We knew when we did this there was no going back, it's just a slow climb to get better. The pay will improve, and the hours will even out, it's just going to take a lot longer than we originally were led to believe.

[sweet_light]

=( That's really tough.

[babyslime]

To say the least. :-/