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[badfaun]

I'm feeling down about medication. Like, rationally I understand that the double handful of pills I take daily help me through life. Intuitively I cannot help but feel that I'm doing something very, very wrong, and I should stop

Comments

[callunav]

Yeah, this rings some bells for me. My standing meds aren't so bad (yet - they accumulate, of course) but my assortment of PRNs is really terrifying, sometimes. Traveling to Georgia recently brought this home to me: the number of different kinds of pills I'm not willing to travel without is unbelievable

[badfaun]

Yeah, it'd be nice. It'd be really nice. I try not to think about what I would be like if I hadn't been traumatized, because that way madness lies.

(I don't mean to minimize anything by saying "trauma" instead of "abuse". I am just trying to internalize it more lately as, say, I got run over by a bus or something. Wrong place, wrong time.)

I used to be a lot more adventurous and outgoing, but once my health started sliding downhill I lost all confidence in being able to take care of myself in adventurous situations, and that pretty much stopped that. Although I am pretty sure I would have never randomly joined a group of martial artists and toured around with them. :)

[silverblue]

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but...I'm fit. Really fit. And I take pills every day. They're Allegron, and the dosage is enough these days that I'm a little fuzzy-headed when I try to remember things. And they are for past trauma, which has made me feel pain that doesn't exist (allergic skin reactions too, to things that shouldn't cause them. The body is so weird).

I can understand feeling tired about doctors - I really am right now, because one of the treatments I'm undergoing is a) humiliating and b) painful. But...I'm begining to gradually see an improvement. Slowly. Very. The problem I have was caused over a number of years, and it looks like recovery's going to be the same. I think it's worth it, though some days I just don't want to do all the stupid stuff I have to do. It's so damn tiring and it's annoying, and I sometimes feel resentful that 'other people' don't have to do this. Though really, I suppose 'other people' almost certainly have some other problem of their own >.

[gwyd]

You just do what you have to do and keep on working through it. It's all one can do, really.