July Entry,Week Three

[badgurl_gone_gd]

I originaly started out writing a short story for this week, got halfway through and decided to start over. Changed the pace, revised, shortened- but I still did'nt like the way it was coming out. So, I decided to just go with what the prompt actually brought to mind, what truly makes me happy.....

Comments

[_lippie_]

Wow. That was *amazing*. This is a work of art - I love the way you spaced everything, and bolded the sections directly associated with happiness. Very, very good. :]

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thank you so much!!You write some amazing entries and its kind of an honor to get such a nice comment from you :)))))

[intermezzo_poet]

Lovely. :)

Watch out for the misuse of "your" (versus "you're," or "you are) in the first bolded paragraph.

This is a wonderful piece--I love the brief images and then the content, ecstatic feel of the bolded words. Nice work. :)

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thank you!

[noelani_sitara]

Hello, one of your editors here :)

&. Your dirty and disheveled from work -> You're dirty and disheveled from work

Aw, I love this entry. All these thoughts about what needs to be done and then those moments of happiness that just pop out at you. Nicely done!

Good luck!

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thanks,I'm still laughing at myself for the your you're thing :>

editor!

[renga_atama]

This is such a unique piece! I love the way the spacing is! So cool! =D

As a couple other people have mentioned, the only grammar thing I can find is the "your" [to "you're"] in the first bolded paragraph.

I think this one is going to be well recieved. Great writing!

Re: editor!

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thank you very much,I hope it is!!