Shadows Of Self-August Week 1 for brigits_flame

[badgurl_gone_gd]

                                                                               I am a worm before I am a man
                                                                               I was a creature before I could stand
                                                                               I will remember, before I forget- Slipknot,

Comments

[csigeekfan]

I like the insight here.

Good luck this week!

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thank you,its easy for me to write about myself, even if it doesn't always come out just how I want it to.

[ithinkitisayit]

I can totally relate to this. This is often how I feel inside, especially now that I'm tired of my job. I'm tired of being asked the same question by different faces, and I'm tired of helping people.

[badgurl_gone_gd]

M hm,it gets exhausting putting on a happy face and playing all nice with people when all you want to do is hit them or belittle them with a slash of well phrased dagger-words.Unfortunatly you just don't accomplish much that way, besides feeling better for the moment.

[merchendiver]

OH I fight those urges all the time. I can really relate to this piece. Good luck this week.

[libra_dragon]

Nice piece

Good luck!

Primary editor this round!

[attentionhoard]

Hi there! I'm going to be your primary editor for this round. Instead of going through the post with a very fine-toothed comb like some editors, which is totally helpful and awesome, I just read your entry through a few times and make note of anything that jumps out at me Everything I offer is merely a suggestion! :)

First: I really like what you've done with this entry. It's really refreshing to read a very insightful, personal entry. Nice work.

2.: Writing specific action is really tough to do well. If you want the reader to really picture what you're talking about, you need to omit unneeded words, resort to interesting choices and clarify your thoughts. You're really successful at talking about these specific situations except for the bit about the older woman. Try dividing it up into two sentence. My suggestion: She continues to stand, with her back to me, a couple feet away. She's blocking the entrance while having a conversation with someone who is still inside.

3. Try and find a for a synonym for "feeling" in this

Re: Primary editor this round!

[badgurl_gone_gd]

Thanks, I appreciate the info. I really could have done more with this, had I had more time. Next month I'll have to put some time aside for this.