Deleted Scene: Avalanche. Mohinder's POV-Sylinder Series outtake.

[baehj2915]

Title: Avalanche
Author: JLB
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and talking
Summary: Deleted Scene from my unnamed Sylinder Series. In Mohinder's POV, cause I've been thinking it's necessary. Mohinder goes through a lot of emotions in a short amount of time, and comes to a conclusion of sorts.
Other Notes: I was strongly influenced by "Avalanche" by

Comments

[widestance75]

WowWowWOW! I loved this! Yay for Elle being a comfort to Mohinder and actually being grown-up and considerate about the whole thing. I thought your writing of her was on-point! "Seeing you hurt and sad makes me sad. And unexpectedly angry. And I want to know if there’s a bitch I need to shank." So her!

God I don't want to quote the whole thing, but I loved:

I was my father’s most painful inferences about me: weak, emotional, and unstable. It's horrible that Mohinder, in the midst of a (completely justified) breakdown, is thinking about how he disappointed his father.

And then Mohinder's physical position during his breakdown: I could feel almost as if someone else was touching me, which was a semi-hollow thought and a semi-reassuring action. GUH! SOB!

[baehj2915]

thank you!

you're right about Mohinder. thinking about that is just making things worse, but he's not done feeling terrible. and really, he's disappointed in himself, so he's projecting a little. (also, that line about him touching his neck is probably my favorite line. It's so lonely and sad, without explicitly saying so... ;P sometimes I'm too proud of myself.)

thanks for reading!

JLB

[megmatthews20]

I'm not even lying when I say your last chapter has been haunting me for days. I had to go back and read it again twice to try and figure out the main parts that were bugging me so much...(I mean haunting in a good way...but a really visceral make you feel oogy kind of way...like the movie Mysterious Skin if you've ever seen it)

This chapter actually makes me feel a hell of a lot better. There is still a person left behind in Mohinder. He's not completely destroyed yet, just so lost, so shaken up...I LOVE that you brought Elle into the equation...

This chapter was so necessary, and the second I saw it I clicked on it, every other priority out of my mind...I'm a bit obsessed >.<

I anxiously await your future chapters...*shivers in a fetal position*

The only time I feel this anxious about the next installment is when I'm waiting for the newest Lost episode, or the HP books...it's a crazy feeling...

I'll go be weird elsewhere...:p

cheers

[baehj2915]

wow! if you felt the way i felt when I was waiting for the HP books to come out, that's a powerful fucking statement. :D :D :D

thanks so much for the love and comments! I hope that remaining parts make as much as impact, but don't make you shiver in the fetal position... but they might. :(

p.s.- your strobing icon is insane!!!

JLB

[megmatthews20]

My flashing Ewan icon of insanity is only used on very rare occasions...mainly when something really effects me.

I had minor panic attacks waiting for HP to come out...I had to wait to see what Rowling had possibly done to my favorite characters, I had to realize I had no control over said characters, I had to remember to breathe, and put my faith in the author. I'm just gonna have to be on the edge of my seat AGAIN.

Your story is somewhat darker than HP. :p

I hope that remaining parts make as much as impact, but don't make you shiver in the fetal position... but they might. :( *wibbles* I'm sure they will!

And now that you probably think I am a complete nut, I shall wander away to write my own fics while this one bunks down uneasily in the back of my mind. :p

cheers

[baehj2915]

wow... that's kind of how i felt when i was waiting for book 7, and the previous others, but more so for 7, to come out. Little panic attacks the closer I got to it. I was dreading Weasley deaths, hardcore. When she killed Fred, I totally bawled. And I was at work when I read that part!

And it's unbelievably awesome that you're waiting for my story. :D :D :D

and I'm proud to receive the insane strobing icon of insanity.

JLB

[ladywilde80]

You and this series of yours own my very soul

[baehj2915]

*puts ladywilde's soul in soul jar* You can't have it back either! Hehehehe, indeed... ;D

I'm really glad this section had it's intended effect. I was afraid that, coming from Mohinder's POV, his pain might be a little rationalized or lessened in a way, as it can when you see both sides of the coin. That's why I added so many comments about his bodily reactions, more than I normally do when I write from Mohinder's POV. (This whole series is extremely bodily though.)

I'm super super happy that this comes off as realistic. If there was ever a time I cared about that in my fanfic, it's for this section. And I just hope that, from this section, everyone understands what Mohinder does in the next two parts, as well.

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for your love and encouraging comments throughout. They've really helped me write this. :D

Fine, I change my mind. *give you back your soul*

Kisses!
JLB

[flwrpwr_vampyre]

This was really great to read. I love Mohinder's emotional journey and how you had Elle help. (I love Elle in fics where she's not hated)

[baehj2915]

Thank you!!

I would like every character to be understood and loved for their own problems and traits, except maybe Peter, but especially Elle. I think that may be my massive lust for K-bell talking though. :D

JLB

[flwrpwr_vampyre]

I agree there, esp. about Peter. And I loved Elle, even without the Kristen love.

[shimmeree]

Wonderful job! I really love how you write, and I'm glad you did a piece on what Mohinder's thinking. The bathroom scene was especially good. I had to go back and read the series so far the other day, and it's really such a fantastic piece of work! You don't skip out on any of the ugliness, which I think is fantastic. I can't wait for more!

[baehj2915]

actually, i feel like i have shied away from some of my more blunt and creepily disgusting images. and a few practical things, but i hope to bring them up in part five, so i'm not worried. ;D

but thank you for commenting and rereading!! :D

JLB