☁ collapse into me [2/2]
sehun/kai (chanyeol/baekhyun, sehun/baekhyun)
pg-13
part i
The next few days are kind of quiet. Chanyeol and Baekhyun have always been the most noisiest ones but they’re both subdued and walking around looking unhappy, so Sehun can’t even enjoy the quiet because it’s heavy instead of peaceful.
“Why are you so upset about this?” Jongin asks when Sehun complains about it for the billionth time.
“Because they’re both so stupid,” Sehun whines. “Do they think this tortured lovers act is cute or something? It’s not.”
Jongin makes a face. “Wow, thanks for putting that image in my head. Anyway, Baekhyun’s the one being stubborn,” he says. He yelps when Sehun kicks him in the shin. “What? It’s true! He’s the only reason they’re not together.”
“It’s complicated,” Sehun says, even though it’s not.
“It’s really not. Chanyeol likes him, he likes Chanyeol, where’s the complication?” Jongin looks at him curiously. “Why are you so defensive when I mentioned Baekhyun? You’ve been saying the same thing for the past week.”
“It’s not just his fault.”
Jongin doesn’t look impressed. “Really? Because Chanyeol has no idea what’s going on.”
Sehun scowls. “Maybe that’s the problem.” Jongin doesn’t say anything but Sehun knows he’s being unnecessarily aggressive when none of this is Jongin’s fault. His face softens. “I’m sorry,” he says, dragging his chair over to where Jongin is. “Their stupid melodrama is making me cranky.”
Jongin laughs and pokes Sehun’s cheek. “You mean crankier.”
///
At some point, Chanyeol stops sleeping on the couch and returns to the room he and Baekhyun share. Sehun thinks things must be getting better because they’re no longer avoiding each other.
One morning he sees Baekhyun shyly push a cup of coffee towards Chanyeol, and they are both lame and cheesy so Sehun assumes this is actually a bigger gesture than it looks like.
///
Sehun spends a lot of his nights in Jongin’s bed and if it bothers the latter, he doesn’t say anything. Sehun tries not to think about how his hand instinctively finds Jongin’s in the dark, or how he sometimes wakes up to see that Jongin’s hand has managed to find the exposed skin from where his T-shirt has ridden up in his sleep.
He doesn’t realize how often he’s sleeping there until Junmyeon brings it up.
“You know, if you spend anymore time in Jongin and Kyungsoo’s room, I might actually start to feel offended.”
Sehun freezes from where he’s at the door but when he turns around Junmyeon is smiling.
“I was just kidding.”
Sehun shakes his head. “I was going to sleep here tonight, I’m just going to brush my teeth.”
Junmyeon looks amused. “Sehun, I was honestly just joking. You can sleep wherever you want.”
“I know.” Sehun shrugs. “I want to sleep here.”
///
Sehun is cranky the next day, and it’s further instigated by the fact that Chanyeol and Baekhyun seemed to have made up. He scowls when he sees Chanyeol attempt to smooth out Baekhyun’s ruffled bed-head as he sits down heavily at the counter. “You guys are gross.”
“Someone didn’t sleep well,” Chanyeol says, smiling when Baekhyun hums in contentment.
“Hyung, make them stop,” Sehun complains to Kyungsoo, who is rummaging through the cabinets.
“That’s a losing battle,” Kyungsoo says, turning to Sehun, who is trying to both glare and sulk, and he laughs. “Why are you and Jongin so cranky today? Go be grumpy with him in the living room while I make breakfast. And you two.” He gestures at Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “Just stay out of their way because otherwise one of them will make one of you cry.”
Sehun grumbles under his breath before he makes his way to the couch, where Jongin is glaring at the T.V. “Move,” he whines, shoving Jongin, even though there’s more than enough room for him.
Jongin sneers a bit but he obliges.
“What’s your problem?” Sehun asks, shamelessly nudging at Jongin’s arm until he gives in and shifts, letting Sehun settle in against his side.
“I don’t know. Apparently I can’t sleep without some brat overcrowding my bed,” Jongin mumbles, resting his head on top of Sehun’s. “You?”
Sehun sighs and presses in closer. “Can’t sleep well if I’m not inconveniencing you.”
Jongin laughs. “Asshole.”
///
“I hope you don’t intend to spend the night here,” Junmyeon says when he sees Sehun moving to change his clothes. “I’m kicking you out.”
Sehun blinks. “What?”
Junmyeon shrugs. “I don’t know what kind of co-dependent thing you and Jongin have going on right now, but the two of you were awful today and I don’t see Chanyeol and Baekhyun putting up with another day of your sniping. I don’t want to have to put up with it. So please, just go and cuddle with Jongin or whatever.”
Sehun stares at him, feeling horrifed. “We don’t cuddle.”
“Sure,” Junmyeon says mildly, smirking a bit.
Sehun leaves because it is mortifying to see Junmyeon giving him knowing looks.
///
When Sehun appears at the door of the room he and Jongin share, Kyungsoo doesn’t bat any eye from where he’s reading a book on his bed.
“Good,” he says, not taking his eyes off his book. “I didn’t really want to spend another night listening to Jongin punch his pillows because all of a sudden, he can’t get comfortable. Apparently all the free space is an annoyance.”
“Shut up,” Jongin says, reaching behind his head and throwing one of his pillows across the room at Kyungsoo.
Sehun doesn’t say anything. He just picks up the pillow that had landed off its mark on the floor and stands by Jongin’s bed. “Move.”
Jongin huffs, but he still shifts over. “You’re still wearing your jeans,” he complains, even as his fingers reach out to Sehun’s shirt to draw him closer.
“Hyung kicked me out before I could change,” Sehun says, letting himself be pulled in. He returns the smile Jongin gives him and reaches out to poke at Jongin’s cheek. “You’re getting too independent on me.”
Jongin laughs. “Yeah, you wish.”
Sehun does wish. A little.
Jongin’s smile wavers. “What?”
Sehun blinks. “What?”
“What are you thinking? You’re wrinkling your eyebrows which means you’re thinking of something serious,” Jongin says, reaching out to smooth out Sehun’s eyebrow with his thumb.
Sehun watches him and Jongin laughs. “Stop staring, you creep.” He pulls his hand back and shoves at Sehun’s shoulder.
“Sorry,” Sehun says, shrugging Jongin’s hand off his shoulder and pulling it down to wrap their fingers together.
“Oh my god, I am right here,” Kyungsoo speaks up and Sehun has actually forgotten that they’re not alone. “Please don’t be hormonal teenagers because I won’t be able to look at either of you.”
Jongin laughs. “Shut up, you know it’s not like that.”
Sehun smiles as he turns on his side away from Jongin, who props himself up on Sehun’s arm to look at Kyungsoo.
“Are you going to stop reading and turn off the lights so we can sleep?”
Kyungsoo makes a face at him, but he closes his book and walks over to the light switch, which is actually closer to Jongin’s bed. “If I hear any weird noises I will end both of you,” he says before he turns the lights off.
Jongin dislodges himself from Sehun and settles down beside him. “Goodnight,” he says quietly.
Sehun stays still for a few moments, before he turns to Jongin and pushes at his arm until he can stretch it out and rest his head on Jongin’s shoulder.
Jongin freezes. “Sehun?”
“Goodnight,” Sehun says, resting his hand on Jongin’s chest. It takes awhile, but eventually Jongin’s arm relaxes and he curls his arm around Sehun.
“I’m going to get a dead arm from your fat head,” Jongin mutters, and Sehun just laughs.
///
When Sehun wakes up the next morning, he’s alone in the bed and in the room. He stumbles out, sleepily rubbing at his eyes, and walks towards the bathroom to go brush his teeth. Jongin is inside, still brushing his own teeth and he smiles at Sehun around his toothbrush.
“Hey,” Sehun mutters, moving to join him at the sink. He grabs his toothbrush and has just run it under water when Jongin holds the toothpaste out to him. “Thanks.”
They spend the next few minutes in silence, brushing their teeth. Jongin finishes first and he’s turning to leave, when Sehun spits out the foam in his mouth and grabs Jongin’s arm to stop him.
Jongin looks surprised and raises an eyebrow, waiting. When Sehun doesn’t say anything, he smiles. “What?”
Sehun’s fingers fall to his wrist, tightening as he pulls Jongin closer towards him.
The smile slips off Jongin’s face as he shifts his eyes from Sehun’s hand around his wrist back up to Sehun’s face. “What are you doing?”
“Just…stop talking,” Sehun says. “I just need a second to figure out…”
“Figure out what?” Jongin tugs slightly at his wrist but Sehun doesn’t let go. There’s a tone in his voice that sounds like a mixture of panic and something that Sehun can’t identify. “I don’t- Sehun, what? What do you want?”
Oh. Sehun thinks he knows what that tone is about, but it upsets him to think that he’s somehow hurting Jongin with this. “You,” he finally says. He suddenly becomes aware that he looks ridiculous, with toothpaste foam around his mouth, hair uncombed and he’s sure he still has sleep lines etched on his face. Plus he’s confessing in the bathroom of all places.
Jongin is just staring at him, an unreadable look on his face.
“I just want you,” Sehun says.
Jongin stares at him some more before an uneasy smile slips back on. “You have me,” he says, laughing weakly.
Sehun frowns. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
Jongin’s gaze slides away from Sehun’s face and drops to the floor. “Stop it.”
Sehun blinks, confused. “What?”
“Stop.” Jongin looks back up and yanks his arm away. “Do you think this is funny?”
Sehun just stands there staring at him because he can feel the anger radiating from Jongin, anger that hadn’t been there a minute ago and now there’s too much of it.
“You think you can just mope around over Luhan and then decide that settling for me is okay? You think I’m here to be your back up plan, your second choice?” Jongin laughs bitterly. “I’m not even your second choice though, am I?” He sees the look on Sehun’s face and he laughs again. “Baekhyun? Did you think I didn’t notice? No, you don’t. You don’t think about all that stuff because I’m just in the background for you.”
Sehun feels like he’s sinking. “You’re not. How could you even think that? You’re my best friend, Jongin. You’re not some back up plan.”
Jongin scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Prove it.”
Sehun is trying to push the word ‘how’ out of his mouth when Jongin turns around and leaves. There’s a look on his face and finally, Sehun remembers why the look that Baekhyun gets sometimes is so familiar- because he’s seen it on Jongin’s face.
///
“I thought we’ve been through this,” Junmyeon says, when Sehun gets into his own bed.
“Not tonight, hyung.”
It’s quiet in their room for a few minutes. “Are you okay?” Junmyeon asks finally.
No, Sehun thinks, because this is all wrong. Why had it been so easy to kiss Baekhyun, who he doesn’t even want or like in that way? Why is it so hard with Jongin when nothing with Jongin has ever been difficult?
“Yes,” he finds himself saying. “I’m fine.”
///
“You kissed Baekhyun.”
Sehun is snapped out of his session of sulking and he looks up to find Chanyeol towering over him. He doesn’t look angry or like he’s about to punch Sehun in the face, but Sehun isn’t in the mood either way. “Is that what he told you?”
Chanyeol doesn’t miss a beat. “He said you guys kissed.”
Sehun crosses his arms. “So then what do you need from me?”
Chanyeol doesn’t roll his eyes or get impatient like Sehun expects him to. “Do you like him?”
“No.”
Chanyeol looks a little confused now. “Okay,” he says, unsurely. “Just don’t do it again.”
Sehun snorts. “Didn’t plan on it. Neither of us were really into it the first time.” He doesn’t add that it’s because they were both thinking of other people, but he’s annoyed now. He’s always been honest with Jongin, and Baekhyun is the one who internalizes and hides his insecurities, how come it’s so easy for him and Chanyeol to carry on like nothing had been wrong? He shakes his head. “Do you guys even know how much you like each other? It’s sickening. But do you two ever actually talk?”
Chanyeol blinks. “Of course we talk. I didn’t just magically find out about you two, he told me. How about you stop getting so mad about Baekhyun and me and try to fix your own problems?” When Sehun just stares at him, he makes a face. “Jongin.”
///
Jongin sticks himself to Kyungsoo, who, Sehun is assuming, he is using as some sort of human shield because he thinks Sehun will leave him alone this way. He’s right, because Sehun doesn’t want to drag Kyungsoo into their stupid fight, even though he thinks someone should save Kyungsoo from Jongin’s clinging.
“I’m going to the store,” Kyungsoo says, and sighs when Jongin appears beside him. “We’re going to the store. Do you guys want anything?”
“Food!” Chanyeol calls out from where he’s sitting on the couch watching T.V. with Baekhyun.
Kyungsoo sighs again. “Would you like to expand on that?”
“Chips! And cookies. And ice cream! And get the large tub, that small one lasts for fifteen minutes.”
“So junk basically,” Kyungsoo mutters, rolling his eyes. He looks over at where Sehun is hunched over the table, staring at his glass of juice like it’s going to give him answers. “Do you want anything, Sehun?”
Sehun shakes his head.
Kyungsoo puts a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet lately.” He pauses. “Are you and Jongin fighting? Is this why he won’t leave me alone?”
Sehun shakes his head. “No, I just don’t feel well.” It’s not a complete lie, he does feel a little sick to his stomach because thinking of this whole Jongin thing is starting to hurt.
Jongin finally looks at him when he says that, but he looks away when he sees Sehun has noticed.
“Are you sick?” Kyungsoo looks worried, which is the last thing Sehun wants. He doesn’t like Kyungsoo or Junmyeon fretting over him, he figures they have enough to worry about.
“I just need to lie down.”
///
When Baekhyun comes into his room a few minutes after he gets in, he sighs. “Does Chanyeol know you’re here?”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a dick. I just came to check on you.”
Sehun pouts a little but he moves so Baekhyun can sit down beside him. “Why did you tell him?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “It never occurred to me to not tell him.”
Sehun rolls over on to his side and he gives the older boy a funny look. “Have you guys talked about the whole Wu Fan thing?”
“A little. It’s hard to talk about your insecurities.”
Sehun snorts. “That’s bullshit.”
Baekhyun looks at him. “Why do you think it’s so easy to share a part of yourself with another person, Sehun?” he says quietly. “You seem to think it’s no big deal but it’s hard. It’s fine when you’re just messing around, but it gets harder when there are feelings.”
“Feelings are gross.”
Baekhyun laughs. “Don’t I know it.” He tilts his head and looks at Sehun. “What happened with you and Jongin?”
Sehun groans and turns away from him. “He’s mad because I tried to tell him I liked him after I kissed you.”
Baekhyun blinks. “You told him we kissed?”
Sehun scowls. “No, of course not. I mean, I would have eventually, but he knows something happened and he’s pissed off because he thinks he’s third choice or something.”
“Third choice? Who’s sec- oh.” Baekhyun makes a face. “He thinks you actually like me.”
Sehun sits up and glares at him. He’s furious all of a sudden. “What do you mean who’s second? You think he’s actually second? So what, Luhan, who barely ever calls or texts, who only remembers me when we all have to perform together, you think he’s first? Why are you and Jongin so fucking stupid in the head? Luhan isn’t first or second or third or anything. There’s just Jongin and that’s it.” Baekhyun is smiling. Sehun feels incredulous and wonders how much trouble he’d be in if he punched him in the face. “Why are you smiling?”
“Because I’m not the one you should be saying all this to.”
///
Sehun isn’t sure how long he spends sulking in his room before he hears the door open. He assumes it’s Junmyeon or Kyungsoo coming to check on him, so he flops over and shuts his eyes because he wants to be left alone.
He hears a scoff. “I don’t know why you think anyone buys that.”
Sehun opens his eyes and turns around.
“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” Jongin says. He looks a little unsure but he doesn’t seem angry anymore.
“I thought you were mad.”
Jongin makes a face. “That doesn’t mean I want you to be sick, stupid.”
“I’m not sick, just tired.”
Jongin snorts. “From what? Sulking around the dorm and being a dark cloud to anyone who’s around you?”
Sehun rolls his eyes as he sits up. “Sit,” he says, pointing to the empty space on his bed.
Jongin rolls his eyes too but he sits down.
“What kind of bullshit inferiority complex do you have that you think you’re only the third most important person to me?”
Jongin rolls his eyes again. “You’re putting words in my mouth. I know I’m important to you. That is not what I meant when I said I was third choice.”
Sehun turns to him. “Why would you say that you’re some back up plan? How could you think you’re just in the background? You think you’re a choice to be made?”
Jongin sighs. “I’m not blind, Sehun. I was there when you moped around after Luhan left.”
“He’s not the only one who left. We trained with ten other members and then six of them left to go promote in another country. It wasn’t about Luhan.” Sehun reaches out to hold his hand.
“Then tell me about Baekhyun.” Jongin’s tone and expression are both blank but he doesn’t pull his hand away.
Sehun frowns. “We kissed.”
Jongin doesn’t flinch. “You like him.”
“No,” Sehun insists. “It was just…I don’t know. I was stupid and he was sad, it’s not a good mix.”
“And you and me?”
“Jongin.” Sehun sighs and squeezes Jongin’s hand. “I’m sorry that I was an asshole about everything. I hate that I made you think you were third choice. I meant what I said earlier.”
Jongin blinks. “What?”
“You’re not a choice to be made. You think I’m choosing between you and Luhan, or you and Baekhyun, but I’m not. It’s just you.”
Jongin smiles. “That is really fucking cheesy.”
Sehun makes a face. “Fuck you, I’m trying.”
Jongin laughs, softly. “I know.” He shifts a bit so he’s facing Sehun. “I’m sorry I’m making this hard.”
Sehun shrugs. “It’s okay, I deserve it.” He shifts closer, resting his free hand on Jongin’s knee. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve said that already. It’s okay. Apology accepted, so stop.”
“No,” Sehun says, pulling on their joined hands to pull Jongin closer. “It’s not okay. Do I really make you feel like you’re just in the background? Because...” Sehun hates that he’s so shitty at expressing how he feels. “Jongin.”
Jongin grins and leans in. “That’s just my bullshit inferiority complex, which is my problem.”
Sehun laughs, even though he doesn’t find it funny. “You know you’re nothing like Kai,” he says. “Because he’s all confident and bold.” It feels strange saying he because he knows it’s still just Jongin. “It’s a little strange how unsure you are.”
Jongin studies him. “Just about you,” he says quietly.
“You don’t have to be.”
They’re too close now and Jongin rests their foreheads together. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Sehun smiles, drawing his arms around Jongin’s neck.
Jongin’s eyes go soft as he leans in close. “Yeah. Okay,” he says when their lips are just a breath away.
Sehun smiles, watching as the distance between them gets shorter.
“Close your eyes, you creep,” Jongin complains.
“Your eyes are open too!”
Jongin laughs again before he finally closes the distance between them and kisses him. Sehun’s eyes flutter shut as he moves in even closer, pulling lightly at the small hairs on the nape of Jongin’s neck. He feels Jongin smile into the kiss, and then he’s smiling too and he has to pull away because he can’t stop smiling.
“You are so weird,” Jongin says, but he’s still smiling. “Why do I even like you?”
Sehun manages to push them over and he ends up sprawled on top of Jongin. He leans in to press a kiss to Jongin’s neck and he moves up his neck, across his jaw and finally back to his lips. Jongin’s fingers slide into his hair and he licks along Sehun’s teeth until Sehun gives in, making a small sound of contentment.
///
It’s not like Sehun hasn’t kissed anyone because he has, and he knows Jongin has kissed people before. But Jongin still kisses him like Sehun is the only one he was ever kissed, all soft and slow and Sehun swears it sends shivers down his spine.
“You’re turning me into a cheeseball,” he complains, as Jongin places a kiss to the little hollow at the base of his throat. He kisses his way up Sehun’s neck and then back down, tracing the contours of his collarbone, licking into the dips.
“It’s okay,” Jongin says, shifting up to kiss Sehun. “I like cheeseball Sehun. It’s a nice change from grumpy Sehun and bitchy Sehun.” He grins when Sehun huffs. “You’re lucky I like every version of you.”
Sehun shifts uncomfortably and flushes. “Jongin, stop.”
Jongin pauses and blinks. “What?”
Sehun looks away. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Jongin smiles. “No.”
///
“Sehun.” Jongin nudges his shoulder. “Go to bed.”
Sehun squints at Jongin sleepily. “Okay,” he mumbles, shuffling to his feet. He pauses when Jongin doesn’t follow, just remains seated on the floor, shrouded in a blanket. “Aren’t you coming?”
“No, there’s a Chelsea game starting in a few minutes.”
Sehun pouts. “But it’s like ass o’clock.”
“It’s only 11:40,” Jongin laughs. “Just go to bed.”
Sehun huffs, but he shuffles over and nudges Jongin’s knees apart before he settles in between them and shifts closer until he’s pressed against Jongin.
“You hate football,” Jongin says, as he shifts the blanket so it’s wrapped around Sehun too.
“Yeah,” Sehun says sighing in contentment. “I like you though.”
Jongin laughs. “Dork,” he says before he leans in to kiss Sehun. He’s about to pull away when Sehun tugs at his lower lip with his teeth and Jongin’s mouth opens underneath his. “Sehun.”
Sehun pulls away slightly even as he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck. “How invested are you in this game?” he asks, lips moving against Jongin’s jaw.
“Pretty invested,” Jongin says, pulling Sehun’s face up towards his so he can press their lips together. His fingers press down into Sehun’s hipbones making him gasp into the kiss and it just makes it easier for Jongin to slip his tongue in.
Not that Sehun is fighting him.
“Who are they playing?” Sehun asks against his lips.
“Manchester United,” Jongin answers, pulling Sehun closer.
Sehun jerks his head away, smirking at Jongin’s surprised face. “Luhan’s team?”
Jongin blinks. “Yeah.”
“How much do you believe in your team?” Sehun asks, nosing along his jaw.
“Why?”
“If they win,” Sehun says, pressing his lower body flush against Jongin’s. “I’ll let you fuck me in the practice room against the mirrors like you keep wanting to.”
Jongin groans when Sehun’s fingers lightly graze the skin above his boxers but he raises an eyebrow. “And if precious Luhan’s team wins?”
Sehun shrugs. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Jongin snorts. “Then no.”
Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I thought your team was good,” he says innocently. “What could I possibly make you do that would be so bad anyway? I’m pretty unimaginative.”
Jongin scoffs. “Plenty. You’re a kinky fucker, Oh Sehun.”
“You want to watch as you fuck me against mirrored walls, and I’m kinky?” Sehun leans back to press himself against Jongin. “Come on, Jongin. Deal? I’ll even get you off right now before the game starts.”
Jongin stills his hand as it inches closer to his zipper. “Too late,” he says, nodding to the T.V. screen where the teams are walking on to the pitch.
Sehun makes a face. “You just want to watch that Fernando Torres loser,” he mumbles, slouching in Jongin’s hold.
Jongin freezes. “How do you even know that name?”
“What? Isn’t he your favourite player? I listen to you, even if football is a stupid sport.”
“You’re stupid,” Jongin shoots back, pressing a kiss to the curve of Sehun’s ear.
“He’s ugly,” Sehun pouts, as the camera zooms in on the line up and the player’s face fills the screen.
Jongin laughs. “Okay, you possessive asshole. You have your bet.”
Sehun smiles smugly.
///
Jongin’s team loses and he spends the next few days waiting for the gauntlet to drop.
“I keep trying to figure out what you’re going to make me do,” Jongin says. “But nothing I can think of seems that bad.” When Sehun just smiles at him sweetly, he groans. “But see, that’s just my imagination. You are the worst.”
Sehun just hums before he gets up to leave the kitchen, brushing his fingers against Jongin’s neck as he passes him.
“I hate you,” Jongin calls out.
///
“Okay, I’m cashing in,” Sehun says two days later when they’re both alone in the dorm.
Jongin looks up warily. “What is it?”
Sehun smirks but he shakes his head. “I have something to tell you and you can’t say anything until I finish.” He smiles when Jongin’s face goes blank. “It’s not bad. You just always butt in and I don’t want this to turn into a thing.”
Jongin shrugs but he moves over for Sehun to sit beside him.
Sehun just sits down in front of him on the floor. “You were right,” he says, resting his hands on Jongin’s knees. “I used to like Luhan.” He doesn’t bother to look up at Jongin’s face because he doesn’t want to see what he’s thinking. “He was my first friend and I was really quiet and shy when I first got here, and he took care of me.” He feels Jongin flinch and he knows he’s a little hurt by this. “It’s not- I didn’t know you then. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“You’re talking,” Sehun points out and Jongin sighs but he obliges. “Luhan brought me out of my shell and he made me more open.” He laughs a little. “Not a lot more but I don’t know if I would have been able to deal with how big all of this turned out to be if he hadn’t pushed me to put myself out there.”
Jongin doesn’t react to any of this and when Sehun looks up, his face is completely blank.
“If it wasn’t for Luhan, I would probably still be awkward around the rest of you guys. And you.” Sehun hates that look on Jongin’s face so he pushes in closer, insinuating himself in between Jongin’s legs. “Jongin.” He reaches up to put his arms around Jongin’s neck and pulls his head down close to his. “Luhan is the one who pushed me out of my shell, but you bring me back home. You anchor me.”
Jongin’s eyes finally meet his. “Okay.”
Sehun smiles. “Okay,” he agrees, closing the distance between the two of them.
///
Jongin's hand moves down his back and settles on the base of his spine, pressing in a little. Sehun is just angling his head to deepen the kiss when Jongin pulls away slightly, a look of surprise on his face.
"What?" Sehun asks.
"You're not even fighting for dominance." Jongin looks a little amused now.
Sehun isn't interested in any sort of push or pull at the moment. "I don't want to fight right now, Jongin."
Jongin tilts his head, studying him. "Okay," he says softly.
Sehun is still holding on to Jongin's neck when he moves to lay down on his back so he pulls Jongin down with him.
Jongin is looking at him and it's different- so different- from that other look he gets and Sehun loves this look but it makes his chest feel heavy.
"Jongin."
"Yeah?"
Sehun moves his hand a little so he can curl it around the curve of Jongin's neck. "I want…" He trails off because he's not sure what he wants to say.
Jongin smiles. "What? Tell me what you want."
"Before, you said I was the only thing you were unsure about."
Jongin's smile deepens. "Sehun, don't."
"No, listen. I just want…I want to be the one thing you're always sure about."
Jongin looks at him. "Okay."
Sehun pulls Jongin in closer. "Okay?"
"Okay."
Sehun smiles. "I like when you look at me like that."
Jongin laughs as he presses a kiss to the corner of Sehun's mouth. "Good." He moves across Sehun's jaw and down his neck. He presses a knee between Sehun's legs, pushing them apart and Sehun makes a keening sound when Jongin's hands slide under his shirt.
"I like this pliant side of you," Jongin says, kissing his way across Sehun's shoulder.
Sehun's hums in contentment. "Don't get used to it."
///
“Jongin, come on!” Sehun complains, punching the buttons on his controller. “Stop looking for more ammo and help me out here, I’m dying.” He tries not to dislodge Baekhyun, who is passed out in between them, his head slightly resting on Sehun’s thigh.
“How can I help when I have no ammo at all? You kept grabbing all the weapons, you selfish fuck. I hope you run across the witch.”
“No, fuck.” Sehun frowns when he hears the familiar wailing that means the witch is around. “Fuck you, Jongin.”
Jongin laughs. “Serves you right, you- fuck!” He jumps when his character exits the room and is faced with the curled up figure in the corner. “Shit. Where the hell are you, Sehun?”
Sehun cackles. “I don’t know, but I am not coming to get you. You can deal with that shit by yourself.”
Chanyeol wanders into the living room, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “It’s two in the morning. How are you guys still awake?” he mumbles, joining them on the floor.
“Sorry, did we wake you up, grandpa?” Jongin says, frowning deeply.
Chanyeol ignores him. “I’ll play the winner,” he says, nudging Baekhyun awake.
“Which will be me,” Sehun says smugly. “Because Jongin’s ass is going to be killed by the witch.”
Jongin grumbles under his breath and tosses his controller away when his gun does nothing to the witch and his character dies. “Fuck you, Sehun.”
“Maybe later,” Sehun replies.
“Wow, gross,” Baekhyun says, now awake. He smiles sleepily at Chanyeol before he pushes at his legs so he can sit in between them.
“Here,” Jongin says, handing Chanyeol the controller. “I hope you kick his ass.”
///
“You and Jongin seem good,” Baekhyun says, as Jongin shifts down to play against Chanyeol after Sehun loses.
“Yeah.” Sehun drags his eyes away from the game to glance over. “You and Chanyeol seem good too.”
Baekhyun makes a sound of contentment. “We are.”
“It’s easy,” Sehun blurts out.
Baekhyun gives him a questioning look. “What is?”
“Everything,” Sehun says. “Everything is always easy with Jongin.”
---
x. this turned out to be monstrously long? i have no idea how it got away from me. i'm not sure how many words this is because this was written in snippets all over ms word, evernote and actually writing it down in my notebook.
x. sorry if the baekhyun/chanyeol resolution seemed...choppy? i was writing baekyeol fic and then sekai side story happened instead. T.T
x. can we just-- sekai are the cutests babies. ♥
pg-13
part i
The next few days are kind of quiet. Chanyeol and Baekhyun have always been the most noisiest ones but they’re both subdued and walking around looking unhappy, so Sehun can’t even enjoy the quiet because it’s heavy instead of peaceful.
“Why are you so upset about this?” Jongin asks when Sehun complains about it for the billionth time.
“Because they’re both so stupid,” Sehun whines. “Do they think this tortured lovers act is cute or something? It’s not.”
Jongin makes a face. “Wow, thanks for putting that image in my head. Anyway, Baekhyun’s the one being stubborn,” he says. He yelps when Sehun kicks him in the shin. “What? It’s true! He’s the only reason they’re not together.”
“It’s complicated,” Sehun says, even though it’s not.
“It’s really not. Chanyeol likes him, he likes Chanyeol, where’s the complication?” Jongin looks at him curiously. “Why are you so defensive when I mentioned Baekhyun? You’ve been saying the same thing for the past week.”
“It’s not just his fault.”
Jongin doesn’t look impressed. “Really? Because Chanyeol has no idea what’s going on.”
Sehun scowls. “Maybe that’s the problem.” Jongin doesn’t say anything but Sehun knows he’s being unnecessarily aggressive when none of this is Jongin’s fault. His face softens. “I’m sorry,” he says, dragging his chair over to where Jongin is. “Their stupid melodrama is making me cranky.”
Jongin laughs and pokes Sehun’s cheek. “You mean crankier.”
///
At some point, Chanyeol stops sleeping on the couch and returns to the room he and Baekhyun share. Sehun thinks things must be getting better because they’re no longer avoiding each other.
One morning he sees Baekhyun shyly push a cup of coffee towards Chanyeol, and they are both lame and cheesy so Sehun assumes this is actually a bigger gesture than it looks like.
///
Sehun spends a lot of his nights in Jongin’s bed and if it bothers the latter, he doesn’t say anything. Sehun tries not to think about how his hand instinctively finds Jongin’s in the dark, or how he sometimes wakes up to see that Jongin’s hand has managed to find the exposed skin from where his T-shirt has ridden up in his sleep.
He doesn’t realize how often he’s sleeping there until Junmyeon brings it up.
“You know, if you spend anymore time in Jongin and Kyungsoo’s room, I might actually start to feel offended.”
Sehun freezes from where he’s at the door but when he turns around Junmyeon is smiling.
“I was just kidding.”
Sehun shakes his head. “I was going to sleep here tonight, I’m just going to brush my teeth.”
Junmyeon looks amused. “Sehun, I was honestly just joking. You can sleep wherever you want.”
“I know.” Sehun shrugs. “I want to sleep here.”
///
Sehun is cranky the next day, and it’s further instigated by the fact that Chanyeol and Baekhyun seemed to have made up. He scowls when he sees Chanyeol attempt to smooth out Baekhyun’s ruffled bed-head as he sits down heavily at the counter. “You guys are gross.”
“Someone didn’t sleep well,” Chanyeol says, smiling when Baekhyun hums in contentment.
“Hyung, make them stop,” Sehun complains to Kyungsoo, who is rummaging through the cabinets.
“That’s a losing battle,” Kyungsoo says, turning to Sehun, who is trying to both glare and sulk, and he laughs. “Why are you and Jongin so cranky today? Go be grumpy with him in the living room while I make breakfast. And you two.” He gestures at Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “Just stay out of their way because otherwise one of them will make one of you cry.”
Sehun grumbles under his breath before he makes his way to the couch, where Jongin is glaring at the T.V. “Move,” he whines, shoving Jongin, even though there’s more than enough room for him.
Jongin sneers a bit but he obliges.
“What’s your problem?” Sehun asks, shamelessly nudging at Jongin’s arm until he gives in and shifts, letting Sehun settle in against his side.
“I don’t know. Apparently I can’t sleep without some brat overcrowding my bed,” Jongin mumbles, resting his head on top of Sehun’s. “You?”
Sehun sighs and presses in closer. “Can’t sleep well if I’m not inconveniencing you.”
Jongin laughs. “Asshole.”
///
“I hope you don’t intend to spend the night here,” Junmyeon says when he sees Sehun moving to change his clothes. “I’m kicking you out.”
Sehun blinks. “What?”
Junmyeon shrugs. “I don’t know what kind of co-dependent thing you and Jongin have going on right now, but the two of you were awful today and I don’t see Chanyeol and Baekhyun putting up with another day of your sniping. I don’t want to have to put up with it. So please, just go and cuddle with Jongin or whatever.”
Sehun stares at him, feeling horrifed. “We don’t cuddle.”
“Sure,” Junmyeon says mildly, smirking a bit.
Sehun leaves because it is mortifying to see Junmyeon giving him knowing looks.
///
When Sehun appears at the door of the room he and Jongin share, Kyungsoo doesn’t bat any eye from where he’s reading a book on his bed.
“Good,” he says, not taking his eyes off his book. “I didn’t really want to spend another night listening to Jongin punch his pillows because all of a sudden, he can’t get comfortable. Apparently all the free space is an annoyance.”
“Shut up,” Jongin says, reaching behind his head and throwing one of his pillows across the room at Kyungsoo.
Sehun doesn’t say anything. He just picks up the pillow that had landed off its mark on the floor and stands by Jongin’s bed. “Move.”
Jongin huffs, but he still shifts over. “You’re still wearing your jeans,” he complains, even as his fingers reach out to Sehun’s shirt to draw him closer.
“Hyung kicked me out before I could change,” Sehun says, letting himself be pulled in. He returns the smile Jongin gives him and reaches out to poke at Jongin’s cheek. “You’re getting too independent on me.”
Jongin laughs. “Yeah, you wish.”
Sehun does wish. A little.
Jongin’s smile wavers. “What?”
Sehun blinks. “What?”
“What are you thinking? You’re wrinkling your eyebrows which means you’re thinking of something serious,” Jongin says, reaching out to smooth out Sehun’s eyebrow with his thumb.
Sehun watches him and Jongin laughs. “Stop staring, you creep.” He pulls his hand back and shoves at Sehun’s shoulder.
“Sorry,” Sehun says, shrugging Jongin’s hand off his shoulder and pulling it down to wrap their fingers together.
“Oh my god, I am right here,” Kyungsoo speaks up and Sehun has actually forgotten that they’re not alone. “Please don’t be hormonal teenagers because I won’t be able to look at either of you.”
Jongin laughs. “Shut up, you know it’s not like that.”
Sehun smiles as he turns on his side away from Jongin, who props himself up on Sehun’s arm to look at Kyungsoo.
“Are you going to stop reading and turn off the lights so we can sleep?”
Kyungsoo makes a face at him, but he closes his book and walks over to the light switch, which is actually closer to Jongin’s bed. “If I hear any weird noises I will end both of you,” he says before he turns the lights off.
Jongin dislodges himself from Sehun and settles down beside him. “Goodnight,” he says quietly.
Sehun stays still for a few moments, before he turns to Jongin and pushes at his arm until he can stretch it out and rest his head on Jongin’s shoulder.
Jongin freezes. “Sehun?”
“Goodnight,” Sehun says, resting his hand on Jongin’s chest. It takes awhile, but eventually Jongin’s arm relaxes and he curls his arm around Sehun.
“I’m going to get a dead arm from your fat head,” Jongin mutters, and Sehun just laughs.
///
When Sehun wakes up the next morning, he’s alone in the bed and in the room. He stumbles out, sleepily rubbing at his eyes, and walks towards the bathroom to go brush his teeth. Jongin is inside, still brushing his own teeth and he smiles at Sehun around his toothbrush.
“Hey,” Sehun mutters, moving to join him at the sink. He grabs his toothbrush and has just run it under water when Jongin holds the toothpaste out to him. “Thanks.”
They spend the next few minutes in silence, brushing their teeth. Jongin finishes first and he’s turning to leave, when Sehun spits out the foam in his mouth and grabs Jongin’s arm to stop him.
Jongin looks surprised and raises an eyebrow, waiting. When Sehun doesn’t say anything, he smiles. “What?”
Sehun’s fingers fall to his wrist, tightening as he pulls Jongin closer towards him.
The smile slips off Jongin’s face as he shifts his eyes from Sehun’s hand around his wrist back up to Sehun’s face. “What are you doing?”
“Just…stop talking,” Sehun says. “I just need a second to figure out…”
“Figure out what?” Jongin tugs slightly at his wrist but Sehun doesn’t let go. There’s a tone in his voice that sounds like a mixture of panic and something that Sehun can’t identify. “I don’t- Sehun, what? What do you want?”
Oh. Sehun thinks he knows what that tone is about, but it upsets him to think that he’s somehow hurting Jongin with this. “You,” he finally says. He suddenly becomes aware that he looks ridiculous, with toothpaste foam around his mouth, hair uncombed and he’s sure he still has sleep lines etched on his face. Plus he’s confessing in the bathroom of all places.
Jongin is just staring at him, an unreadable look on his face.
“I just want you,” Sehun says.
Jongin stares at him some more before an uneasy smile slips back on. “You have me,” he says, laughing weakly.
Sehun frowns. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
Jongin’s gaze slides away from Sehun’s face and drops to the floor. “Stop it.”
Sehun blinks, confused. “What?”
“Stop.” Jongin looks back up and yanks his arm away. “Do you think this is funny?”
Sehun just stands there staring at him because he can feel the anger radiating from Jongin, anger that hadn’t been there a minute ago and now there’s too much of it.
“You think you can just mope around over Luhan and then decide that settling for me is okay? You think I’m here to be your back up plan, your second choice?” Jongin laughs bitterly. “I’m not even your second choice though, am I?” He sees the look on Sehun’s face and he laughs again. “Baekhyun? Did you think I didn’t notice? No, you don’t. You don’t think about all that stuff because I’m just in the background for you.”
Sehun feels like he’s sinking. “You’re not. How could you even think that? You’re my best friend, Jongin. You’re not some back up plan.”
Jongin scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Prove it.”
Sehun is trying to push the word ‘how’ out of his mouth when Jongin turns around and leaves. There’s a look on his face and finally, Sehun remembers why the look that Baekhyun gets sometimes is so familiar- because he’s seen it on Jongin’s face.
///
“I thought we’ve been through this,” Junmyeon says, when Sehun gets into his own bed.
“Not tonight, hyung.”
It’s quiet in their room for a few minutes. “Are you okay?” Junmyeon asks finally.
No, Sehun thinks, because this is all wrong. Why had it been so easy to kiss Baekhyun, who he doesn’t even want or like in that way? Why is it so hard with Jongin when nothing with Jongin has ever been difficult?
“Yes,” he finds himself saying. “I’m fine.”
///
“You kissed Baekhyun.”
Sehun is snapped out of his session of sulking and he looks up to find Chanyeol towering over him. He doesn’t look angry or like he’s about to punch Sehun in the face, but Sehun isn’t in the mood either way. “Is that what he told you?”
Chanyeol doesn’t miss a beat. “He said you guys kissed.”
Sehun crosses his arms. “So then what do you need from me?”
Chanyeol doesn’t roll his eyes or get impatient like Sehun expects him to. “Do you like him?”
“No.”
Chanyeol looks a little confused now. “Okay,” he says, unsurely. “Just don’t do it again.”
Sehun snorts. “Didn’t plan on it. Neither of us were really into it the first time.” He doesn’t add that it’s because they were both thinking of other people, but he’s annoyed now. He’s always been honest with Jongin, and Baekhyun is the one who internalizes and hides his insecurities, how come it’s so easy for him and Chanyeol to carry on like nothing had been wrong? He shakes his head. “Do you guys even know how much you like each other? It’s sickening. But do you two ever actually talk?”
Chanyeol blinks. “Of course we talk. I didn’t just magically find out about you two, he told me. How about you stop getting so mad about Baekhyun and me and try to fix your own problems?” When Sehun just stares at him, he makes a face. “Jongin.”
///
Jongin sticks himself to Kyungsoo, who, Sehun is assuming, he is using as some sort of human shield because he thinks Sehun will leave him alone this way. He’s right, because Sehun doesn’t want to drag Kyungsoo into their stupid fight, even though he thinks someone should save Kyungsoo from Jongin’s clinging.
“I’m going to the store,” Kyungsoo says, and sighs when Jongin appears beside him. “We’re going to the store. Do you guys want anything?”
“Food!” Chanyeol calls out from where he’s sitting on the couch watching T.V. with Baekhyun.
Kyungsoo sighs again. “Would you like to expand on that?”
“Chips! And cookies. And ice cream! And get the large tub, that small one lasts for fifteen minutes.”
“So junk basically,” Kyungsoo mutters, rolling his eyes. He looks over at where Sehun is hunched over the table, staring at his glass of juice like it’s going to give him answers. “Do you want anything, Sehun?”
Sehun shakes his head.
Kyungsoo puts a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet lately.” He pauses. “Are you and Jongin fighting? Is this why he won’t leave me alone?”
Sehun shakes his head. “No, I just don’t feel well.” It’s not a complete lie, he does feel a little sick to his stomach because thinking of this whole Jongin thing is starting to hurt.
Jongin finally looks at him when he says that, but he looks away when he sees Sehun has noticed.
“Are you sick?” Kyungsoo looks worried, which is the last thing Sehun wants. He doesn’t like Kyungsoo or Junmyeon fretting over him, he figures they have enough to worry about.
“I just need to lie down.”
///
When Baekhyun comes into his room a few minutes after he gets in, he sighs. “Does Chanyeol know you’re here?”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Don’t be a dick. I just came to check on you.”
Sehun pouts a little but he moves so Baekhyun can sit down beside him. “Why did you tell him?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “It never occurred to me to not tell him.”
Sehun rolls over on to his side and he gives the older boy a funny look. “Have you guys talked about the whole Wu Fan thing?”
“A little. It’s hard to talk about your insecurities.”
Sehun snorts. “That’s bullshit.”
Baekhyun looks at him. “Why do you think it’s so easy to share a part of yourself with another person, Sehun?” he says quietly. “You seem to think it’s no big deal but it’s hard. It’s fine when you’re just messing around, but it gets harder when there are feelings.”
“Feelings are gross.”
Baekhyun laughs. “Don’t I know it.” He tilts his head and looks at Sehun. “What happened with you and Jongin?”
Sehun groans and turns away from him. “He’s mad because I tried to tell him I liked him after I kissed you.”
Baekhyun blinks. “You told him we kissed?”
Sehun scowls. “No, of course not. I mean, I would have eventually, but he knows something happened and he’s pissed off because he thinks he’s third choice or something.”
“Third choice? Who’s sec- oh.” Baekhyun makes a face. “He thinks you actually like me.”
Sehun sits up and glares at him. He’s furious all of a sudden. “What do you mean who’s second? You think he’s actually second? So what, Luhan, who barely ever calls or texts, who only remembers me when we all have to perform together, you think he’s first? Why are you and Jongin so fucking stupid in the head? Luhan isn’t first or second or third or anything. There’s just Jongin and that’s it.” Baekhyun is smiling. Sehun feels incredulous and wonders how much trouble he’d be in if he punched him in the face. “Why are you smiling?”
“Because I’m not the one you should be saying all this to.”
///
Sehun isn’t sure how long he spends sulking in his room before he hears the door open. He assumes it’s Junmyeon or Kyungsoo coming to check on him, so he flops over and shuts his eyes because he wants to be left alone.
He hears a scoff. “I don’t know why you think anyone buys that.”
Sehun opens his eyes and turns around.
“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” Jongin says. He looks a little unsure but he doesn’t seem angry anymore.
“I thought you were mad.”
Jongin makes a face. “That doesn’t mean I want you to be sick, stupid.”
“I’m not sick, just tired.”
Jongin snorts. “From what? Sulking around the dorm and being a dark cloud to anyone who’s around you?”
Sehun rolls his eyes as he sits up. “Sit,” he says, pointing to the empty space on his bed.
Jongin rolls his eyes too but he sits down.
“What kind of bullshit inferiority complex do you have that you think you’re only the third most important person to me?”
Jongin rolls his eyes again. “You’re putting words in my mouth. I know I’m important to you. That is not what I meant when I said I was third choice.”
Sehun turns to him. “Why would you say that you’re some back up plan? How could you think you’re just in the background? You think you’re a choice to be made?”
Jongin sighs. “I’m not blind, Sehun. I was there when you moped around after Luhan left.”
“He’s not the only one who left. We trained with ten other members and then six of them left to go promote in another country. It wasn’t about Luhan.” Sehun reaches out to hold his hand.
“Then tell me about Baekhyun.” Jongin’s tone and expression are both blank but he doesn’t pull his hand away.
Sehun frowns. “We kissed.”
Jongin doesn’t flinch. “You like him.”
“No,” Sehun insists. “It was just…I don’t know. I was stupid and he was sad, it’s not a good mix.”
“And you and me?”
“Jongin.” Sehun sighs and squeezes Jongin’s hand. “I’m sorry that I was an asshole about everything. I hate that I made you think you were third choice. I meant what I said earlier.”
Jongin blinks. “What?”
“You’re not a choice to be made. You think I’m choosing between you and Luhan, or you and Baekhyun, but I’m not. It’s just you.”
Jongin smiles. “That is really fucking cheesy.”
Sehun makes a face. “Fuck you, I’m trying.”
Jongin laughs, softly. “I know.” He shifts a bit so he’s facing Sehun. “I’m sorry I’m making this hard.”
Sehun shrugs. “It’s okay, I deserve it.” He shifts closer, resting his free hand on Jongin’s knee. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve said that already. It’s okay. Apology accepted, so stop.”
“No,” Sehun says, pulling on their joined hands to pull Jongin closer. “It’s not okay. Do I really make you feel like you’re just in the background? Because...” Sehun hates that he’s so shitty at expressing how he feels. “Jongin.”
Jongin grins and leans in. “That’s just my bullshit inferiority complex, which is my problem.”
Sehun laughs, even though he doesn’t find it funny. “You know you’re nothing like Kai,” he says. “Because he’s all confident and bold.” It feels strange saying he because he knows it’s still just Jongin. “It’s a little strange how unsure you are.”
Jongin studies him. “Just about you,” he says quietly.
“You don’t have to be.”
They’re too close now and Jongin rests their foreheads together. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Sehun smiles, drawing his arms around Jongin’s neck.
Jongin’s eyes go soft as he leans in close. “Yeah. Okay,” he says when their lips are just a breath away.
Sehun smiles, watching as the distance between them gets shorter.
“Close your eyes, you creep,” Jongin complains.
“Your eyes are open too!”
Jongin laughs again before he finally closes the distance between them and kisses him. Sehun’s eyes flutter shut as he moves in even closer, pulling lightly at the small hairs on the nape of Jongin’s neck. He feels Jongin smile into the kiss, and then he’s smiling too and he has to pull away because he can’t stop smiling.
“You are so weird,” Jongin says, but he’s still smiling. “Why do I even like you?”
Sehun manages to push them over and he ends up sprawled on top of Jongin. He leans in to press a kiss to Jongin’s neck and he moves up his neck, across his jaw and finally back to his lips. Jongin’s fingers slide into his hair and he licks along Sehun’s teeth until Sehun gives in, making a small sound of contentment.
///
It’s not like Sehun hasn’t kissed anyone because he has, and he knows Jongin has kissed people before. But Jongin still kisses him like Sehun is the only one he was ever kissed, all soft and slow and Sehun swears it sends shivers down his spine.
“You’re turning me into a cheeseball,” he complains, as Jongin places a kiss to the little hollow at the base of his throat. He kisses his way up Sehun’s neck and then back down, tracing the contours of his collarbone, licking into the dips.
“It’s okay,” Jongin says, shifting up to kiss Sehun. “I like cheeseball Sehun. It’s a nice change from grumpy Sehun and bitchy Sehun.” He grins when Sehun huffs. “You’re lucky I like every version of you.”
Sehun shifts uncomfortably and flushes. “Jongin, stop.”
Jongin pauses and blinks. “What?”
Sehun looks away. “Stop looking at me like that.”
Jongin smiles. “No.”
///
“Sehun.” Jongin nudges his shoulder. “Go to bed.”
Sehun squints at Jongin sleepily. “Okay,” he mumbles, shuffling to his feet. He pauses when Jongin doesn’t follow, just remains seated on the floor, shrouded in a blanket. “Aren’t you coming?”
“No, there’s a Chelsea game starting in a few minutes.”
Sehun pouts. “But it’s like ass o’clock.”
“It’s only 11:40,” Jongin laughs. “Just go to bed.”
Sehun huffs, but he shuffles over and nudges Jongin’s knees apart before he settles in between them and shifts closer until he’s pressed against Jongin.
“You hate football,” Jongin says, as he shifts the blanket so it’s wrapped around Sehun too.
“Yeah,” Sehun says sighing in contentment. “I like you though.”
Jongin laughs. “Dork,” he says before he leans in to kiss Sehun. He’s about to pull away when Sehun tugs at his lower lip with his teeth and Jongin’s mouth opens underneath his. “Sehun.”
Sehun pulls away slightly even as he wraps his arms around Jongin’s neck. “How invested are you in this game?” he asks, lips moving against Jongin’s jaw.
“Pretty invested,” Jongin says, pulling Sehun’s face up towards his so he can press their lips together. His fingers press down into Sehun’s hipbones making him gasp into the kiss and it just makes it easier for Jongin to slip his tongue in.
Not that Sehun is fighting him.
“Who are they playing?” Sehun asks against his lips.
“Manchester United,” Jongin answers, pulling Sehun closer.
Sehun jerks his head away, smirking at Jongin’s surprised face. “Luhan’s team?”
Jongin blinks. “Yeah.”
“How much do you believe in your team?” Sehun asks, nosing along his jaw.
“Why?”
“If they win,” Sehun says, pressing his lower body flush against Jongin’s. “I’ll let you fuck me in the practice room against the mirrors like you keep wanting to.”
Jongin groans when Sehun’s fingers lightly graze the skin above his boxers but he raises an eyebrow. “And if precious Luhan’s team wins?”
Sehun shrugs. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Jongin snorts. “Then no.”
Sehun raises an eyebrow. “I thought your team was good,” he says innocently. “What could I possibly make you do that would be so bad anyway? I’m pretty unimaginative.”
Jongin scoffs. “Plenty. You’re a kinky fucker, Oh Sehun.”
“You want to watch as you fuck me against mirrored walls, and I’m kinky?” Sehun leans back to press himself against Jongin. “Come on, Jongin. Deal? I’ll even get you off right now before the game starts.”
Jongin stills his hand as it inches closer to his zipper. “Too late,” he says, nodding to the T.V. screen where the teams are walking on to the pitch.
Sehun makes a face. “You just want to watch that Fernando Torres loser,” he mumbles, slouching in Jongin’s hold.
Jongin freezes. “How do you even know that name?”
“What? Isn’t he your favourite player? I listen to you, even if football is a stupid sport.”
“You’re stupid,” Jongin shoots back, pressing a kiss to the curve of Sehun’s ear.
“He’s ugly,” Sehun pouts, as the camera zooms in on the line up and the player’s face fills the screen.
Jongin laughs. “Okay, you possessive asshole. You have your bet.”
Sehun smiles smugly.
///
Jongin’s team loses and he spends the next few days waiting for the gauntlet to drop.
“I keep trying to figure out what you’re going to make me do,” Jongin says. “But nothing I can think of seems that bad.” When Sehun just smiles at him sweetly, he groans. “But see, that’s just my imagination. You are the worst.”
Sehun just hums before he gets up to leave the kitchen, brushing his fingers against Jongin’s neck as he passes him.
“I hate you,” Jongin calls out.
///
“Okay, I’m cashing in,” Sehun says two days later when they’re both alone in the dorm.
Jongin looks up warily. “What is it?”
Sehun smirks but he shakes his head. “I have something to tell you and you can’t say anything until I finish.” He smiles when Jongin’s face goes blank. “It’s not bad. You just always butt in and I don’t want this to turn into a thing.”
Jongin shrugs but he moves over for Sehun to sit beside him.
Sehun just sits down in front of him on the floor. “You were right,” he says, resting his hands on Jongin’s knees. “I used to like Luhan.” He doesn’t bother to look up at Jongin’s face because he doesn’t want to see what he’s thinking. “He was my first friend and I was really quiet and shy when I first got here, and he took care of me.” He feels Jongin flinch and he knows he’s a little hurt by this. “It’s not- I didn’t know you then. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
“You’re talking,” Sehun points out and Jongin sighs but he obliges. “Luhan brought me out of my shell and he made me more open.” He laughs a little. “Not a lot more but I don’t know if I would have been able to deal with how big all of this turned out to be if he hadn’t pushed me to put myself out there.”
Jongin doesn’t react to any of this and when Sehun looks up, his face is completely blank.
“If it wasn’t for Luhan, I would probably still be awkward around the rest of you guys. And you.” Sehun hates that look on Jongin’s face so he pushes in closer, insinuating himself in between Jongin’s legs. “Jongin.” He reaches up to put his arms around Jongin’s neck and pulls his head down close to his. “Luhan is the one who pushed me out of my shell, but you bring me back home. You anchor me.”
Jongin’s eyes finally meet his. “Okay.”
Sehun smiles. “Okay,” he agrees, closing the distance between the two of them.
///
Jongin's hand moves down his back and settles on the base of his spine, pressing in a little. Sehun is just angling his head to deepen the kiss when Jongin pulls away slightly, a look of surprise on his face.
"What?" Sehun asks.
"You're not even fighting for dominance." Jongin looks a little amused now.
Sehun isn't interested in any sort of push or pull at the moment. "I don't want to fight right now, Jongin."
Jongin tilts his head, studying him. "Okay," he says softly.
Sehun is still holding on to Jongin's neck when he moves to lay down on his back so he pulls Jongin down with him.
Jongin is looking at him and it's different- so different- from that other look he gets and Sehun loves this look but it makes his chest feel heavy.
"Jongin."
"Yeah?"
Sehun moves his hand a little so he can curl it around the curve of Jongin's neck. "I want…" He trails off because he's not sure what he wants to say.
Jongin smiles. "What? Tell me what you want."
"Before, you said I was the only thing you were unsure about."
Jongin's smile deepens. "Sehun, don't."
"No, listen. I just want…I want to be the one thing you're always sure about."
Jongin looks at him. "Okay."
Sehun pulls Jongin in closer. "Okay?"
"Okay."
Sehun smiles. "I like when you look at me like that."
Jongin laughs as he presses a kiss to the corner of Sehun's mouth. "Good." He moves across Sehun's jaw and down his neck. He presses a knee between Sehun's legs, pushing them apart and Sehun makes a keening sound when Jongin's hands slide under his shirt.
"I like this pliant side of you," Jongin says, kissing his way across Sehun's shoulder.
Sehun's hums in contentment. "Don't get used to it."
///
“Jongin, come on!” Sehun complains, punching the buttons on his controller. “Stop looking for more ammo and help me out here, I’m dying.” He tries not to dislodge Baekhyun, who is passed out in between them, his head slightly resting on Sehun’s thigh.
“How can I help when I have no ammo at all? You kept grabbing all the weapons, you selfish fuck. I hope you run across the witch.”
“No, fuck.” Sehun frowns when he hears the familiar wailing that means the witch is around. “Fuck you, Jongin.”
Jongin laughs. “Serves you right, you- fuck!” He jumps when his character exits the room and is faced with the curled up figure in the corner. “Shit. Where the hell are you, Sehun?”
Sehun cackles. “I don’t know, but I am not coming to get you. You can deal with that shit by yourself.”
Chanyeol wanders into the living room, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “It’s two in the morning. How are you guys still awake?” he mumbles, joining them on the floor.
“Sorry, did we wake you up, grandpa?” Jongin says, frowning deeply.
Chanyeol ignores him. “I’ll play the winner,” he says, nudging Baekhyun awake.
“Which will be me,” Sehun says smugly. “Because Jongin’s ass is going to be killed by the witch.”
Jongin grumbles under his breath and tosses his controller away when his gun does nothing to the witch and his character dies. “Fuck you, Sehun.”
“Maybe later,” Sehun replies.
“Wow, gross,” Baekhyun says, now awake. He smiles sleepily at Chanyeol before he pushes at his legs so he can sit in between them.
“Here,” Jongin says, handing Chanyeol the controller. “I hope you kick his ass.”
///
“You and Jongin seem good,” Baekhyun says, as Jongin shifts down to play against Chanyeol after Sehun loses.
“Yeah.” Sehun drags his eyes away from the game to glance over. “You and Chanyeol seem good too.”
Baekhyun makes a sound of contentment. “We are.”
“It’s easy,” Sehun blurts out.
Baekhyun gives him a questioning look. “What is?”
“Everything,” Sehun says. “Everything is always easy with Jongin.”
---
x. this turned out to be monstrously long? i have no idea how it got away from me. i'm not sure how many words this is because this was written in snippets all over ms word, evernote and actually writing it down in my notebook.
x. sorry if the baekhyun/chanyeol resolution seemed...choppy? i was writing baekyeol fic and then sekai side story happened instead. T.T
x. can we just-- sekai are the cutests babies. ♥