Comments | baeksicles: neverland's will. [2/2]

baeksicles

neverland's will. [2/2]

Jun 21, 2013 22:40

Title: neverland's will.
Pairing: layhan
Genre: friendship/romance
Rating: PG-13
Length: one-shot; ~12,000 words
Summary: While Yixing worries for his future, Luhan laments the past. Because as they dive into a world of memories, it becomes evident that one clings desperately to the broken shards of glass, while all the other can do is try to ( Read more... )

g: romance, f: exo, g: friendship, l: oneshot, g: yaoi, r: pg-13, p: layhan

Comments 20

ukexing June 22 2013, 07:28:59 UTC

MY GOD JESS YOU ARE BLESSED WITH THE MOST AMAZING MIND EVER. I'm mindblown, completely -I can't hANDLE IT ANYMORE NO WHY NO FEELS GOd YOU'RE KILLING ME YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES rN

'Luhan feels whatever is left of his heart shatter into millions of pieces on the filthy ground below him.'

Like what are you doing I feel like this was purposely written to break me into shards asjdshdas

I'm speechless I cna't enLIGSH I WOnt finsIHS MY ENRTRY GOODBYE

baeksicles July 3 2013, 21:51:23 UTC

You spoil me. You spoil me so much and I know that you do and tell you that you shouldn't but you do it anyway and I definitely don't deserve it. ;3;

I'm really glad that I was able to get an emotional response from you! I was worried that the ending would come off as too rushed since I was in a hurry to get it up, but I'm glad that it didn't seem that way to anyone (from what I know now /shot).

*hands you a tissue that's a tad bit late but oh well*

ukexing July 4 2013, 06:33:47 UTC

and yOURE SAYING YOUR ENDING IS RUSHED MY ENTIRE PLOT DOESNT MAKE SENSE IT'S PISSING ME OFF.
YOU DID WONDERFULLY, IM SO JELLY ;u;

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baeksicles July 3 2013, 22:03:12 UTC

I'm glad that you liked the idea of it! c: The story was originally going in a different direction (with Luhan and Yixing being the only characters in the story), but when an alternative route with the figurehead of Wufan came around, I knew that I just couldn't resist. c;

Since the story is - for the most part - told in third-person limited (skewed towards Luhan), it's difficult to understand what's going on in Yixing's mind because Luhan isn't exactly sure himself. I've actually been debating writing an extension of sorts to this story in which Yixing's thoughts on his relationship with Luhan will be more clearer, but I'm not sure yet. I feel like I'm sort of to blame though since it's my fault for not figuring out a proper way for at least some hinting of Yixing's emotions to take place. /shot.

Despite all of that, thank you so much for taking time to read and comment on this story of mine! ;3; It really means a lot to me since this is my first contest ever on lj. OTL. I need all the constructive criticism I can get!

hipployta July 6 2013, 21:36:18 UTC

I had a feeling it was going this way from the moment Wu Fan made that contract for Yixing...after all why would he give him a way to get out of hell unless that way was already closed forever...

Sad for Yixing and Luhan but well played on Wu Fan's part.

baeksicles July 10 2013, 05:21:27 UTC

Wufan has a lot of time on his hands. Even though Yixing and Luhan weren't really suspicious of anything going on, Wufan was pulling their strings the entire time. In a sense, it started out as Luhan using Yixing and expanded to Wufan just using them both~

Thanks for reading! c:

oigabuss July 7 2013, 14:30:47 UTC

Mindblown. I really like concepts like these, and it's nicely written. If anything, I wish some parts could be more... atmospheric? Ok I'm not making any sense, I'm sorry. Glad to have read it ^^

baeksicles July 10 2013, 05:39:28 UTC

No, no, I completely understand what you mean. In all honesty, I'm a bit disappointed with how the structuring of this story came out and they stylistics are a bit weird. I'm probably going to rewrite parts of it some time later. x3

I'm glad that you took the time to read it! :3

(The comment has been removed)

baeksicles July 12 2013, 07:24:20 UTC

asdfghjkl; /shot.

I'm a bit disappointed with the writing style, that's all. I had planned an elaborate structure to this story, but since I procrastinated on writing this (lol, whoops!), I ended up scrapping the whole thing and just went for winging it. XD But I genuinely feel that if I had kept with my original plans, this project would've been a lot more epic. c;

IT'S OKAY, THERE'S STILL LOADS OF EXO FLUFF FLOATING AROUND LJ. /shot. I'm sure you'll stumble across one soon! ;3;

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. It really does mean a lot to me!