Wow, that certainly is different from your original story! I like it, though.
A few things: - Why does Kaula love Manu? It seems to me that he is rather immature, especially compared to her. Has she given hints before? Put down like this, her love for him came out of the blue for me.
- You're pushing an environmental message, but you also say that the flowers stand for material posessions. That seems a whole 'nother message to me. I think you also have to be careful not to be overly preachy. The environment is the 'in' thing to do right now, but that also means people can get tired of it pretty quickly.
- I like the after the credits fragment! Kind of puts things in perspective.
- Why does Kaula love Manu? It seems to me that he is rather immature, especially compared to her. Has she given hints before? Put down like this, her love for him came out of the blue for me.
Yeah, that needs some work. Perhaps Manu deliberately refused to participate in the 'head building race' being a bit of a dreamy rebel? Perhaps Kaula is drawn to Manu because of his optimistic 'doing' nature since she with her thinking gets lost in a feeling of hopelessness?
Manu can be the doing counterpart of Kaula she needs to get her act together and actually try to do something about her concerns rather then just be depressed.
The thing is, I really like to jump right into the story, the viewer learning the what's and why's along the way. But perhaps the first scene should be a cross-cutting from optimistic Manu doing and depressed Kuala worrying...
- You're pushing an environmental message, but you also say that the flowers stand for material posessions. That seems a whole 'nother message to me.That is a bad metaphor I guess. I just
( ... )
To me the love-story doesn't need much work. (Though I'm a bit hesitant in calling it love, since it involves 14-year olds. Affection may be a bit better
( ... )
To me Kaula has had a soft spot for Manu for a long time. And so when he goes to see her, she's happy. When she see he's hiding a present behind his arms, she's happier. And when it turns out to be a flower, she's disappointed, but she doesn't want to hurt Manu's feelings. So she accepts it, thus encouraging Manu to pick even more flowers. Of course, for Manu it makes sense to pick flowers, because he knows how much Kaula loves the beauty of nature.
Yes! You put my ideas in words here! This is exactly it! :D
(Though I'm a bit hesitant in calling it love, since it involves 14-year olds. Affection may be a bit better).
I would like call it affection too. It's all pretty innocent, I think that way it works best to contrast with the "keeping up with the Joneses" behavior of the grownups.
I too would like a begin with Manu running, because it immediately shows action. Later one may add a shot of Kaula secretly looking at Manu's eco-friendly job.Of what about starting with a shot of Manu planting a crop, looking over his shoulder where
( ... )
Seems like a great story that I actually like better than the ice queen story :) (I want to go to Easter island one day)
For the story: I'm not sure if I get the whole picture here, but make sure that at the beginning the reason why these heads are erected in the first place becomes clear, as it plays an important role in your story.
For the story: I'm not sure if I get the whole picture here, but make sure that at the beginning the reason why these heads are erected in the first place becomes clear, as it plays an important role in your story.
Yep, that's a good point. I really have to keep an eye on this. Especially the space race element of it. Perhaps two distinctly colored labeled tribes (like teams) constantly out the 'message' of their competitors. I mean, the statue building did take on absurd proportions since there more then a thousand of these giant statues found on this one little island. This begs for a montage sequence to me, without the cheesy rock guitar music ofcourse. ;)
Remember that first fairytale outline of my new animation project? It's off the table. I was wondering why I hadn't seen a new story-version yet. And I have to say, the new storyline seems more compact and easier to animate without voice-acting. The two of you clearly already thought about this a lot.
the tree house of a rival clan leader to bring his beautiful daughterWhy can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war). So it is more a general thought of how important rivalry is. And second, why must she be the daughter of an important person? I understand the advantage of that: it may mean that she has enough spare time to go and do things on her own, like building a boat. But as a disadvantage; the current 'bad' people are all workers and the only 'good' person, who knows what's going on, is royalty. So unless
( ... )
Why can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war).
Actually a very good point. Having a specific class distinction between the boy and the girl can mean you have to tell a whole extra story that might not contribute much to the main theme anyway. The rivalry that's going on between the different clans, however is something I like to include, why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on.
It's important that there is a scene where the clan leaders encourage the crowd to make more head statues for metaphorical sake, yes. Because yes, many of our leaders seem even more deluded then the general public...
why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
Because they can? Because they think they will receive blessings from the Gods and/or ancestors? Because leaders always like to build big things for their ego? But thinking more about it, the rivalry is a good idea. I particularly like it, because of the "keeping up with the neighbours"-concept, which is still relevant today, even though clan-wars aren't. Basically the concept means that people aren't unhappy when they have little; they are unhappy when they have less than their neighbours. So people want to have a car and a tv at least as big as the rest has and preferably even bigger. In the story it naturally means having as many and as big a statues as the other clans.
- I like this idea of a story, and I think it gives a good chance for different types of environments and (thus) different types of music. Good one -- your visual style suits an exotic locale best.
- In many of the Konami MSX games, the Easter Island stone heads figure either as advisors or as enemies. There is this level in Parodius (a non-serious clone of Nemesis), where the ceilings and floors are made of these stone heads and they start spewing missiles at you. Not that that has anything to do with your story, but I felt it was essential for you to know. ;)
- I like this idea of a story, and I think it gives a good chance for different types of environments and (thus) different types of music.
Yeah we think this setting gives a lot of incentive and creative leeway since there is not much known about this lost a mysterious culture and it's also not such a treated path as say the Atlantis myth is where lot's of people have very specific preconceived ideas about.
Not that that has anything to do with your story, but I felt it was essential for you to know. ;)
Well, it really helps to know all pop-culture uses of the Easter Island to better anticipate people's reactions if we 'do' stuff with the stone heads, so thanks! :)
Apparently Konami is known to put Moai (that's what they call the Easter Island statue they use/depict) in a lot of their games. It all started with a level in Gradius 3. It was a selectable character in a racing game, and they even made a platform puzzler they only released in Japan. There are Moai statuettes hidden in the Metal Gear Solid games as well. :)
About the ending: you perfectly worded the difficulties we have with it.
The Easter Island tale is such a strong metaphor because there was no escape for the Islanders as well as there is no escape from earth if we blow it.
Another possibility would be a Deep Impact-like ending where the couple making themselves comfortable while waiting for the comet to impact: having the characters retreat in their little safe place where there are still flowers while the Polynesians go apeshit when they realize they're too late. But that way of ending is too bleak: it more or less tells you that no matter what you do, you end up dead anyway.
Ideally what I like to go for is that you have two similar stories of giving and taking but one goes wrong because they fail to see & act (the of the Islanders) but the one of the characters is resolved because of realization & working on a solution.
That Deep Impact-like ending reminds me of an animation I saw a long time ago, featuring an middle-aged couple (British I think) living in the time where the Cold War was still a threat. The bomb is dropped but they survive in their bunker for a very long time. When they decide to leave their bunker they see that the whole world has been destroyed and they're the only ones left. And it just ends like that.
I can't remember much of that animation but that ending stayed with me because it's so strong.
And yesterday I watched a short animation (an extra on the Little Mermaid dvd) about the Matchstick Girl and I was pleased to see they kept true the original story, including the sad ending, even though I normally prefer happy ones.
Comments 18
A few things:
- Why does Kaula love Manu? It seems to me that he is rather immature, especially compared to her. Has she given hints before? Put down like this, her love for him came out of the blue for me.
- You're pushing an environmental message, but you also say that the flowers stand for material posessions. That seems a whole 'nother message to me. I think you also have to be careful not to be overly preachy. The environment is the 'in' thing to do right now, but that also means people can get tired of it pretty quickly.
- I like the after the credits fragment! Kind of puts things in perspective.
Reply
Yeah, that needs some work. Perhaps Manu deliberately refused to participate in the 'head building race' being a bit of a dreamy rebel? Perhaps Kaula is drawn to Manu because of his optimistic 'doing' nature since she with her thinking gets lost in a feeling of hopelessness?
Manu can be the doing counterpart of Kaula she needs to get her act together and actually try to do something about her concerns rather then just be depressed.
The thing is, I really like to jump right into the story, the viewer learning the what's and why's along the way. But perhaps the first scene should be a cross-cutting from optimistic Manu doing and depressed Kuala worrying...
- You're pushing an environmental message, but you also say that the flowers stand for material posessions. That seems a whole 'nother message to me.That is a bad metaphor I guess. I just ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Yes! You put my ideas in words here! This is exactly it! :D
(Though I'm a bit hesitant in calling it love, since it involves 14-year olds. Affection may be a bit better).
I would like call it affection too. It's all pretty innocent, I think that way it works best to contrast with the "keeping up with the Joneses" behavior of the grownups.
I too would like a begin with Manu running, because it immediately shows action. Later one may add a shot of Kaula secretly looking at Manu's eco-friendly job.Of what about starting with a shot of Manu planting a crop, looking over his shoulder where ( ... )
Reply
Seems like a great story that I actually like better than the ice queen story :) (I want to go to Easter island one day)
For the story: I'm not sure if I get the whole picture here, but make sure that at the beginning the reason why these heads are erected in the first place becomes clear, as it plays an important role in your story.
Reply
For the story: I'm not sure if I get the whole picture here, but make sure that at the beginning the reason why these heads are erected in the first place becomes clear, as it plays an important role in your story.
Yep, that's a good point. I really have to keep an eye on this. Especially the space race element of it. Perhaps two distinctly colored labeled tribes (like teams) constantly out the 'message' of their competitors. I mean, the statue building did take on absurd proportions since there more then a thousand of these giant statues found on this one little island. This begs for a montage sequence to me, without the cheesy rock guitar music ofcourse. ;)
Reply
I was wondering why I hadn't seen a new story-version yet. And I have to say, the new storyline seems more compact and easier to animate without voice-acting. The two of you clearly already thought about this a lot.
the tree house of a rival clan leader to bring his beautiful daughterWhy can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war). So it is more a general thought of how important rivalry is. And second, why must she be the daughter of an important person? I understand the advantage of that: it may mean that she has enough spare time to go and do things on her own, like building a boat. But as a disadvantage; the current 'bad' people are all workers and the only 'good' person, who knows what's going on, is royalty. So unless ( ... )
Reply
Actually a very good point. Having a specific class distinction between the boy and the girl can mean you have to tell a whole extra story that might not contribute much to the main theme anyway.
The rivalry that's going on between the different clans, however is something I like to include, why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on.
It's important that there is a scene where the clan leaders encourage the crowd to make more head statues for metaphorical sake, yes. Because yes, many of our leaders seem even more deluded then the general public...
His surprise would be "where do these ( ... )
Reply
Because they can? Because they think they will receive blessings from the Gods and/or ancestors? Because leaders always like to build big things for their ego?
But thinking more about it, the rivalry is a good idea. I particularly like it, because of the "keeping up with the neighbours"-concept, which is still relevant today, even though clan-wars aren't.
Basically the concept means that people aren't unhappy when they have little; they are unhappy when they have less than their neighbours. So people want to have a car and a tv at least as big as the rest has and preferably even bigger. In the story it naturally means having as many and as big a statues as the other clans.
Reply
Reply
- I like this idea of a story, and I think it gives a good chance for different types of environments and (thus) different types of music. Good one -- your visual style suits an exotic locale best.
- In many of the Konami MSX games, the Easter Island stone heads figure either as advisors or as enemies. There is this level in Parodius (a non-serious clone of Nemesis), where the ceilings and floors are made of these stone heads and they start spewing missiles at you. Not that that has anything to do with your story, but I felt it was essential for you to know. ;)
Reply
Yeah we think this setting gives a lot of incentive and creative leeway since there is not much known about this lost a mysterious culture and it's also not such a treated path as say the Atlantis myth is where lot's of people have very specific preconceived ideas about.
Not that that has anything to do with your story, but I felt it was essential for you to know. ;)
Well, it really helps to know all pop-culture uses of the Easter Island to better anticipate people's reactions if we 'do' stuff with the stone heads, so thanks! :)
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
About the ending: you perfectly worded the difficulties we have with it.
The Easter Island tale is such a strong metaphor because there was no escape for the Islanders as well as there is no escape from earth if we blow it.
Another possibility would be a Deep Impact-like ending where the couple making themselves comfortable while waiting for the comet to impact: having the characters retreat in their little safe place where there are still flowers while the Polynesians go apeshit when they realize they're too late. But that way of ending is too bleak: it more or less tells you that no matter what you do, you end up dead anyway.
Ideally what I like to go for is that you have two similar stories of giving and taking but one goes wrong because they fail to see & act (the of the Islanders) but the one of the characters is resolved because of realization & working on a solution.
Reply
I can't remember much of that animation but that ending stayed with me because it's so strong.
And yesterday I watched a short animation (an extra on the Little Mermaid dvd) about the Matchstick Girl and I was pleased to see they kept true the original story, including the sad ending, even though I normally prefer happy ones.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
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